Chapter 7 – I’m Really Just An Ordinary Guy You Can Find Anywhere…

Sunday. As planned, I came to cheer on Himawari at her game.

Of course, I’m not the only one here.

Sun-chan, Cosmos, Tsubaki, and even Pansy came all the way here to cheer on her.

“Ah! Everyone’s here!”

Himawari, dressed in her tennis gear, noticed us and came over to where we were, looking all excited.

“Do your best, Himawari!”

“Mm! Thank you, Sun-chan!”

“Don’t get too nervous. Just stay calm and do your best like always.”

“Yes, Cosmos-san! I’ll do my best!”

Sun-chan and Cosmos gave her a pep talk.

Meanwhile, Tsubaki was staring at her wrists.

“Those look good on you, Himawari.”

“Mm! Thank you, Tsubaki-chan! I’m gonna treasure these wristbands!”

Saying that, Himawari showed Tsubaki the red wristbands on her wrists.

Those were gifts that Tsubaki gave her as an early birthday present when she visited her place last night. When I asked why she gave her those, she told me, ‘It’s a token of my apology for all the troubles I caused everyone. Something like that,’ with a smirk on her face.

That answer made me feel a little uneasy, but it wasn’t like I could just ask her what she meant by that.

“I’ve prepared something tasty for you after everything’s done, so look forward to it, okay?”

“Really?! Yay! I will!”

It’s probably not her birthday present, but it seems Pansy’s prepared some sweets for her. She pulled out some sunflower-shaped cookies from her drawstring bag.

Man, I want some. But those are for Himawari, not me.

Besides, I have to do something first before I can even try to ask for her cookies…

“Joro, Joro!”

“Hm? What’s up?”

The moment she finished talking with the others, Himawari came to me.

Her white teeth glisten amidst her smile—which is brighter than usual, as she grabbed my hand.

“Um, there’s something that I want to ask you!”

“You want to ask me something? What is it?”

“…Do you have anyone you like, Joro?”

That’s the same question as the one she asked when we were dancing at the Kabuten a while back.

Back then, it was just the two of us, but now everyone’s here to listen to us.

This part is probably my imagination, but I can sense two people eyeing me with nervous gazes.

Regardless, my answer’s still the same as last time.

“…No.”

Well, I do have one or two girls I’m interested in, but my feelings for them haven’t developed that far yet for me to say that I like them. Anyway, my answer came a little late because I had to think about it for a moment, but…

“I see!”

Himawari’s grin grew wider and her grip on my hand grew tighter.

Just watch. Her response’s gonna be the same as last time.

“Same as me then!”

Huh? That’s a different response than last time.

Also, why is she getting closer to me?

“Ehehe! Okay, since you answered me properly, I’ll give you a reward!”

“Huh? What re—”

“Here!”

“Nn–!!”

“Ah!”

“!!”

Me and Cosmos yelped in surprise, while Pansy just flinched in her spot.

Sun-chan and Tsubaki also seemed surprised by Himawari’s action, but I’m the one who’s the most surprised here!

What did she do? She put her hand on my shoulder, pulled my face toward hers, and… pressed her lips on my cheek!

Her face’s bright red right now, but mine’s probably just as red.

Trying to hide that face, she held her racket in front of her face.

A brand new racket.

“Thank you for the birthday present, Joro! I promise, I’ll treasure this forever and ever! Forever and ever!”

After what happened yesterday, I made up with her and went to a sports goods store with her.

Luckily, it was still open, so I bought her that racket as a birthday present. Honestly, it surprised me when I found out that it’s as expensive as Pansy’s book, but it isn’t a problem.

After all, she bought the book for me, so it’s only right that I buy her a racket in return. We are childhood friends, after all. It’s only natural.

“A-alright, I’m going now! Pansy, Cosmos-san, I won’t lose!”

I don’t know if she referred to the tennis match or something else.

But, there’s one thing that I do know.

Now that she left, there are two people here who are glaring at me with terrifying faces.

“…I see.”

Pansy, I know you’re still mad at me, but that voice is just way too scary, you know?

“U-ugg…! Even Himawari-san…! N-no, I can’t afford worrying about that now! Instead, I’ll work harder than ever before! Starting from working out Joro’s study plan…”

Being motivated is good and all, and you can write whatever you want on your note, but can you not say such a disturbing thing, Cosmos?!

*   *   *

Honestly, I’m a little nervous about the match, but it turns out I was worried for nothing.

With a smile on her face and her new racket in her hand, Himawari won her match and moved on to the next.

If she keeps this up, she’ll get all the way to Inter-high no problem.

That aside, thank goodness. It’s nice to see her smiling normally, but her smile after winning the match feels especially special. Afterwards, we celebrated the occasion at a cafe, then went on our ways.

After parting ways with everyone, I secretly texted Pansy, and we met up again in an empty park. I would love to sit down while talking with her, but this is a park, and the only place where we could sit is… you know¹Bench-kun, of course..

Anyway, we decided to talk while standing.

“So, why are you calling me all the way here?”

“…First thing first. Here.”

There are many things I want to say to her, but this goes first.

I took out a tattered book and a brand new book from my bag and handed them over to her.

This is my most important mission.

“Oh my, you got both, hm? Considering your snail’s pace, I can see that you’ve worked hard on reading through this.”

“C’mon, I’m not that slow…”

Normally, this is the time when I’ll retort to her venomous words, but no, I can’t do that yet.

After all, I have to make up with her first.

“Um, Pansy…?”

“What is it?”

I handed over the two books, which means my most important mission is completed, but this is just the beginning.

The real thing begins now.

“About the other day… sorry. You were right, I was just insecure about myself, and I was being stubborn because I didn’t want anyone to pity me. When you pointed that out, I got mad… took it out on you… left you hanging like that and made you wait for so long…”

“That you did. I was so sad and lonely, you know?”

“Ugg… a-anyway, that’s why, I did a lot of thinking…”

Then, a long pause. An awkward silence enveloped both of us.

Even now, I’m not sure if she’ll be satisfied with what I’m about to tell her, but I’ll still tell her what I have in mind. 

After all, I’m not gonna let momentary embarrassment cause me to miss this kind of opportunity ever again.

“I have nothing. My looks’ just average, I don’t have any particular skills—that’s the kind of person I am.”

“What a perfect self-assessment. You can make that a special skill of yours, you know?”

“Shut it! Anyway! Like I said, I have nothing. No matter how much you tried to tell me to believe in myself, I can’t! I just can’t! But, even I have things that are important to me. That’s why…”

“That’s why?”

“I’ll do my best to protect them.”

These are the same words as the ones I told the old man the other day. Now, I’m telling them to her, with the same sincerity and conviction.

Sun-chan, Himawari, Cosmos, Tsubaki… and her. There’s no point in me comparing myself to them and belittling myself. Nothing will change, even if I were to drown in my misery doing that.

That’s why, I’ll do my best to help them out instead. To do what I can to protect them.

“…I see. I understand.”

Alright! I can’t believe I did that! This is one of the rare cases when I got to tell her—out of all people—my honest feelings properly!

Heh, but I’m not done yet, Pansy! I can still grow even further!

“Also… I lied. When you visited my house, and you asked if I was telling you my true feelings… I got angry and told you to go home, didn’t I? That was all a lie. The truth is…”

“The truth is?”

Huh? I… might have gotten ahead of myself. Crap, I just boarded a one-way ticket to a massive embarrassment train.

Just look at this girl being all excited about this! Even her glasses are all shiny now, dammit!

“U-um… I-I… actually… w-with you…”

Crap, this is bad! Seriously, how did I get myself in this situation?!

“Hehe…”

Seeing me stuttering my words, not knowing what to say, Pansy giggled.

Her smile looked so gentle, but at the same time, it hid a massive destructive power that you’d never imagine coming from a braided four-eyes like her.

“It can’t be helped. Your face’s so red already, you can stop.”

Phew, she spared me. It’s a rare case of her showing mercy on me, and I’ll take what I can get.

“Good boy. Saying all that was tough, wasn’t it?”

She stretched her hand and gently stroked my head.

I don’t know what to feel about this. On one hand, it’s embarrassing that she’s treating me like a child, but on the other hand, this is her way of making up with me, so I can’t just shake her hand off.

…Still, this means that she’s forgiven me. Thank goodness…

“But, are you content with just helping everyone?”

“Yes. That’s what I want to do the most right now. Besides, guys like me who have nothing to do and a lot of free time can start doing whatever we want whenever, so I’m fine being like this until I find an amazing dream that I want to chase after.”

“I see. I’ll look forward to it, then.”

“Yes, do that, ‘kay?”

Heh, don’t look down on me yet, Pansy.

I can now withstand this amount of expectation with ease!

“Mm. Like this, you won’t have to turn down others’ kindness anymore.”

W-wait, that’s just too much! I don’t even know I can withstand that much!

“From now on, be more honest with yourself. Of course, you can turn down others’ help if you want to, but only if you think it’s necessary to turn them down in the first place. Though… I don’t want you to turn me down… if possible…”

Man, she might’ve coated it with kindness, but she sure is relentless. This level of expectation is too much for me…

“Alright, now’s my turn.”

“Huh?”

What is she talking about? It isn’t like she’s done anything wrong… at least this time.

This matter was 100% on me, no?

“…Honestly, this matter made me hate myself a little.”

Holy shit, is she for real? This girl always has a way to look at things from a positive side, so hearing her being this negative is… scary, to say the least.

“Hate… yourself?”

“Honestly, I was jealous of Tsubaki. Really jealous. You two are in the same class, she has more time together with you than I do with you, then you two got to be together after school as well, even though that time is supposed to be my time with you. That’s the time I’ve worked hard to get, and yet she took it from me… just like that… so, I decided to cheat.”

“Cheat?”

“Yes… using my real appearance.”

That explains nothing. What are you even on about?

“I know you like it, so I thought that if I were to use it, I’d be able to get you back. That’s why I went to your house the other day. I thought that if I were to beg you with it, you might just stop and come back to me…”

“Too bad that didn’t happen. That is that, this is this.”

The problem with that plan is that, whichever appearance that she uses, she’s still the rotten girl that I know.

I might like her real appearance, but just showing me that still won’t change my mind no matter what.

“Yes, I learned that the hard way. Anyway, that’s why… I’m sorry, for trying to pull such a stunt on you. Don’t get the wrong idea, though. What I said back then wasn’t a lie, but I can’t deny that I said all that out of my selfishness to get you back with me again…”

Honestly, her apologizing to me like this is way more surprising than her being all negative.

She looks really down, it makes me feel bad. Also, she’s in her braided four-eyes appearance, but there’s something strangely cute about her…

“Eh, it’s fine.”

If I stay close to her, she will hug me, so I took a step back as I said that.

But, she didn’t even take a step forward. That just shows you how down she is.

“No, actually, this is actually better?”

“Huh?”

“Uh… can I be honest with you? I find you a little… creepy at times, you know? Like, you always pour out all your feelings on me and you never stop until you get what you want. Sometimes, it makes me think that you’re… a monster? Not quite, but it just gives me that inhuman vibe…”

“That’s a little too much, don’t you think…?”

Ah, she’s sulking now. She looks kinda funny like this.

“Well, my personality’s kinda twisted. I can’t fully trust someone who’s openly telling me both their good and bad sides. Of course, that doesn’t mean I hate someone like that, it’s just… they rub me the wrong way at times.”

Me, Cosmos, Himawari, Asunaro… even Sun-chan—no matter how charming a person is, they all have a bad side that they won’t willingly show to others. 

Still, that doesn’t mean I won’t get along with them.

As long as I can still vibe with them, I can get along with them no problem.

It’s just how it is. Nobody’s perfect, after all. Like a coin that has two sides, everyone has a good and a bad side.

Such a thing is what makes one a human, after all.

“That’s why, I’m actually glad that you have that kind of dirty, hidden desire. It makes you feel more… human. Ah, don’t get the wrong idea, okay? I’m not saying that I like it, I’m not an M, and I’m definitely not asking you to act on it! Also, it isn’t like I like you in the first place, so I don’t care much if you have that kind of thought.”

“…Just as you said.”

“Huh?”

What kind of answer is that?

Just when I thought I had discovered a new side of hers, she started spewing things that I don’t understand.

It was to the point that I tilted my head in confusion. But for some reason, she started giggling again.

Also, for some reason, even though she’s in her braided four-eyes form, I found her rather… cute and attractive, somehow…

“I’ve fallen in love even deeper with you now.”

“D-don’t say such a thing so suddenly like that!!”

Yep, this girl ain’t human! No human could say something like that so casually like that!

At the very least, I can’t do that! I’ll die out of embarrassment if I do!

“T-that aside… have you really read the book?”

Maybe embarrassed by her earlier words, she tried to change the subject.

She asked that while holding up the tattered book that I handed her.

“Of course I have. You told me I don’t need to read it, but that’ll defeat the whole purpose, won’t it? …Still, I understand what you meant that I don’t need to buy it again.”

So, what happened was, I continued to read the book… and found an unexpected twist at the end…

Now that I think about it, I guess when she said ‘You don’t have to force yourself to read that book,’ she really meant, ‘Read it when you feel like reading it’.

Seriously… she can be less vague about it…

“Mm. Also… when I said that, I was hoping that you’d continue to read it too.”

Tsk, so she placed the bait and I fell for it, huh?

Next time, if she tells me I don’t need to read something, I won’t read it.

“Anyway, what do you think of the book?”

“Well, it isn’t bad. It’s pretty interesting, actually.”

“That’s a vague review. You need to improve your vocabulary more.”

“Shut up! I told you not to expect too much from me!”

“Then, what about the other thing?”

Satisfied with my answer (probably), she began to leaf through the book.

I knew she’d do this. Oh, well…

Know what, you ask? Well, you see, this girl added something special in this book.

When I read through the book, at some point, a bookmark appeared. Like the book itself, it was tattered and wrinkly, but what was written on it was readable enough. As for what was written on it, it was:

‘Will you save me if I get in trouble?’

Seriously, what a pain in the ass this girl is. The answer to that is obvious, and yet she still did this anyway. Still, if I may be honest, I can’t imagine what kind of trouble she’ll ever get into, and if I’ll even be of help when that time actually comes.

Anyway, like I said, the answer to that question is obvious.

Ugg, why is she giving me that hopeful look? Look away already.

“If I have the time, sure. I’m a busy man, though, so don’t get your hopes—”

“A certain someone told me that he’ll have more free time after last Friday.”

“…Okay, I need to talk to Tsubaki about my new shift, so I’ll be off. See you.”

“Sure. Also, good luck with Tsubaki. If it’s the you now, I know you can do it”

We’re just gonna talk about a new shift, I don’t need this kind of encouragement!

It’s not like I’m about to head off to my final battle or anything!

And here I thought I’d understand her a little better, she still confuses me.

I just unraveled one thing about her, but it turned out there were even more that I haven’t…

*   *   *

After making up with Pansy, I headed to Tsubaki’s store as planned.

Since I have enough money, I won’t need to work every day like I’ve been doing up until now.

That’s why I’m gonna ask her to cut my shift just enough so that I can earn enough to save for summer.

“Ah, Joro. Have you made up with Pansy yet?”

When I entered the store’s office, Tsubaki, who was in the middle of organizing some papers, asked me that embarrassing question.

Uh, I appreciate that she’s worried for me, but that’s the one thing I don’t want to tell anyone in detail. Well, I’ll just tell her the gist of it.

“More or less, yeah…”

“That’s good, then. You’re here about your shift, right?”

“Mhm. I’m sorry, but can you reduce my shift a little—no, reduce it reasonably?”

While I get that cutting my shift down significantly would trouble her a lot, especially considering that my previous work days were every day of the week, if I keep working with that shift, it will interfere with my studies. And if a certain student council president hears about it…

“Mm, sure. Finals coming up soon anyway. I understand that you’ll need to study.”

Alright! Now I can go to the library after school like I used to—well, actually, not really. I can’t go there when I have a shift, can I? Whatever! Let’s just hope that Pansy won’t mind that and hope for the best!

“By the way, Joro, there’s something I want to tell you. Before you ask, no, it isn’t related to your shift.” 

Huh? What is it, Tsubaki? What’s with the shy look?

Could it be…? No way, right?

“Um, sure… what’s up?”

“This is something that I’ve been keeping to myself for a while. I’ve been trying to tell you about it, albeit indirectly, but it seems you didn’t get the message, so I figured I’ll just tell you straight.”

W-wait, not yet! I have to prepare myself mentally first!

Alright, I’m ready now! Go on! I’ll receive your love—wait, I’ve used that line before, haven’t I?

Man, I really need to increase my repertoire… 

“…It’s about time you make up your mind, don’t you think?”

Uh? What? That’s a weird way of confessing…

“U-um… is this like, a confession?”

“What? No.”

You!! And I was all excited about thisI I even prepared myself mentally for this!

It might be nothing to you, but it’s everything to me!

“You still don’t get it, huh? I’m being serious right now, you know?”

Hell yes I don’t get it. Could you please elaborate?

“Haa… alright, let’s start from the beginning—the day when I first transferred, when you were showing me around. Back then, you referred to yourself as ‘a scum with no redeeming qualities’, and that bothered me, so I decided to observe you for a bit. In the library, I noticed how you kept belittling yourself, acting like you belong in the background, like you’re a mob or whatever. Well, I haven’t seen a lot of people who’re 100% confident with themselves, but someone who doesn’t even bother trying to have confidence in themselves like you is even more rare. And that’s why back then I wondered… maybe you’ve been just running away?”

“Running away, huh…? Back then, maybe, yeah… but now, I’ve stopped doing that, though…”

Just like what I’ve told the old man and Pansy, I’ll put my best effort in everything from now on.

The matter’s pretty much settled, no? Why bring this up now?

“Not that.”

“Huh? Not that? Then what?”

“I didn’t mean you were running away from yourself, but from everyone’s feelings for you… from their care and love for you…”

“Ah…”

Crap, she just had to say that out loud…! I mean, she’s right, but it isn’t like I can just admit it!

“That’s the reason why I started that showdown thing. I thought that if I do that, you’ll understand how wonderful of a person you are, and how much everyone around you loves you.”

“N-no, t-they are just nice people in general, you know? T-they treat everyone the same way…”

“You know that’s not true. There’s not a single person in this world who can treat everyone the same way. Pansy, Cosmos, and Himawari all did their best because you’re precious to them. So did I, of course. Pansy especially, was amazing. She guessed my intentions almost immediately. And I thought I hid it quite well too.”

Tsubaki let out a wry smile, looking somewhat embarrassed.

I remember Pansy calling out to her back then… was it for this?

“It was tough, you know? I thought Himawari’s morning practice would cut off our time together, so I went to your place early to wake you up.”

So that’s why she went to wake me up that early. Never expected there’s such an elaborate plan behind it…

“But in the end, I failed. You were too hardheaded to notice what I was trying to do. Instead, you complained about feeling bad and whatnot…”

“Then, from the start, you…”

“Mm. To make you accept that you’re the center of our group. I thought that was a fitting way for me to repay everything that you’ve done…”

This kushikatsu noble’s way of repaying kindness is way more spartan than I imagined.

I can’t believe she challenged everyone just for that. She got us good…

“Pansy, Cosmos-san, Himawari, Sun-chan, and of course, me—we all love you. The reason why we’re together is because of you. You’re like the skewer that holds the kushikatsu together… or something like that. Anyway, do you get what I’m trying to say?”

…Of course I do. In fact, I’ve realized this for a long time now.

Mob or whatnot—such a thing doesn’t exist in this world.

Everyone has their own lives, and they live their lives in whatever way they choose.

Even those without dreams or goals, they all still live their lives.

Besides, considering the kind of life I have, calling myself a ‘mob’ is just wrong on all fronts.

“Yeah…”

After all, I got to spend my days with a bunch of really cute girls and the most reliable best friend I can ever ask for.

That’s why, the most apt three-word description for me is…

For this ordinary guy you can find anywhere is…

“…All crystal clear. I get what you’re trying to say.”

‘The main character’.

“Thank goodness then.”

She clenched her hands tightly, clearly happy.

Seeing how her eyelashes fluttered as she stared at me though, it seemed like she still had something to say to me.

“One more thing.”

“Um… what is it?”

“Remember what I said before? When you asked me if I have romantic feelings for you?”

When was that again? Was it when she challenged everyone to the showdown? 

“I see. You don’t remember. It’s okay, I’ll say it again, ‘There’s no way anyone would have that kind of feeling towards you, a guy who has no hopes and dreams’.”

Right, that. That hurts as much as the first time. Man, I’m just sad now.

“Still… as you know, exceptions do exist.”

“Ugg!”

“Well, that problem is for you to solve. As for me… heh, what do you think if I were to join in?”

“Huh?! Y-you…”

I know that you’re joking, but can you not say that kind of thing so casually?!

My throat feels dry now. I should drink something—that tea looks good. Gulp! Done.

“Ah, that’s…”

“Ng? What’s wrong?”

For some reason, she’s staring at me in surprise when I drank the tea on the desk.

Is there something wrong with it? Don’t tell me this is a three-day-old tea or something like that?

Well, that’s fine. Thanks to mom’s teaching, my stomach is as strong as the universe itself. A three-day-old tea is something it can digest no problem.

“U-um… t-that’s mine… y-you know…”

Fuck, I messed up!

This is the kind of shit only that natural bitch Himawari should pull off, not me! Seriously, what the fuck?!

“A-ahaha… guess that makes it my fifth first experience…”

“M-my bad! I-if there’s nothing else, I-I’ll get going! Thank you for everything!”

“M-mm. S-see you tomorrow.”

Seeing how her face’s so red, my face’s probably no better, so I bid her goodbye and ran back home as fast as I could.

Dammit! This kind of shit is normal for an MC, but when you actually experience it yourself, it’s more bothersome than anything!

Maybe I should’ve just stayed being a mob…