Chapter 3 – And I Thought Everything is Going Well…

“Good morning, Joro!”

“Ow!”

Monday morning, the first day of the week. As I walked to school, I heard a lively voice, followed by a sharp pain on my back.

“Joro, you should answer my greeting with a ‘Good morning!’ not ‘Ow!’”

A short while after I received the impact, Himawari appeared, peeking into my face.

“Then, say your greeting like a normal person instead of slapping me in the back like that!”

“This is my normal greeting!”

Annoyed, I gave out my complaints at her, but she just brushed it off.

While I was glad that we made up and all, I didn’t like that we had to go back to this particular morning routine. I really should find a way so she could stop on doing this…

“Ehehe! I know it, it just feels right to walk to school with you!”

Never mind, if that meant losing the soft feeling that I felt as she clung to my arm, it wouldn’t be worth it.

“Sun-chan and I didn’t get any red marks in the midterms! Thanks for your help!”

Himawari proudly said as she walked beside me.

I guess that was why she was in an especially good mood today. The sense of freedom and accomplishment after going through the midterms.

“Don’t sweat it. You did your best.”

It was worth all the effort they put into studying. Both Sun-chan and Himawari managed to get passing marks. But, what was especially amazing was Cosmos’ predictions.

Her predictions were so accurate that I almost suspected that she stole the actual exam questions instead of making a prediction. Thanks to that, Sun-chan and Himawari weren’t the only ones benefiting from the study sessions.

My average grade was ten points higher than usual. Meanwhile, Pansy’s grade was…

“Still, Pansy-chan is amazing! She got the highest rank in our grade!”

Exactly. I guess even the devil herself could be useful if one were to keep everything in moderation when consulting with her.

“By the way, Joro! What is our class going to do for the Hyakka Festival?”

“They want to showcase the history of game consoles in Japan or something like that.”

The Hyakka Festival was our school’s traditional festival. It was held in May and it wasn’t considered as our school’s cultural festival.

Our school’s cultural festival was the Ryoran Festival, which was held in September.

So, what exactly was the Hyakka Festival? To put it simply, it was an exhibit made by the students.

Each class would do research about certain subjects and they’d exhibit the result of that research. The festival was also known as ‘Pedia-sensei’s Festival¹Pedia as in Wikipedia.’ among the students.

“I see. Consoles as in NES²Nintendo Entertainment System, if you don’t know, most of the well-known game series like Super Mario or The Legend of Zelda started from this console. or something similar?”

“No, consoles as in the TV Tennis³TV Tennis Electrotennis, it’s the very first console ever released in Japan. NES was released in 1983, but TV Tennis was released in 1975, so there was almost a decade gap between the two..”

Seriously, the NES was a third generation console, it was old, but not that old, Himawari.

Well, it couldn’t be helped then, I’d give her a lecture about the history of consoles.

“You see, in Japan, everything started with Epo⁴Epoch, Co. The company who made the TV Tennis.–”

“Well, whatever! As long as everyone is doing everything together, it’ll all be fun!”

This girl! I was just about to tell her the beauty and wonder of the TV Tennis and Cassette Vision⁵If TV Tennis is the first generation console and NES is the third, then Cassette Vision is the second. It’s the first console that implements a ROM-based cartridge as a media to play games., but she already lost interest before I could even start! She really hated hearing about something that she had no interest in, huh?

“Alright, Joro! Let’s race all the way to school!”

Look at her, completely ignoring something that she had no interest in, yet she forced me to do something I had no interest in. Unacceptable. A hug in my arm didn’t excuse this kind of behavior.

“Okay, good luck with that.”

So, I pulled my arm out of her embrace.

“Eh? But why?! We used to do this together…”

She looked up at me with puppy eyes. That was a good attempt, but I wouldn’t be tempted by that anymore.

“You know I’m not the most athletic guy around, right? I don’t want to do something like that this early in the morning. So, if you want to do it, then do it alone.”

Finally… Finally, I was able to say those words to her!

“Eh?! No way! Running with you is the thing that I do in the morning! It’s in the rules!”

“Rules existed to benefit everyone involved, not to benefit a specific individual.”

“Boo!”

Why was she booing me? I was right!

“Ei!”

She tried to grab my arm again, but I dodged her this time.

What a fool. I had already discerned her behavioral pattern.

“Uu…!”

Sure, that pout of hers was cute, but that wasn’t enough to win me over.

Hm? She came closer to me, slowly, but steadily. I bet you a hundred that she’d try to grab my arm again.

“Meanie!”

So I raised both my hands up high. Her reflex might be outstanding, but she wouldn’t beat me in this game with our height difference. This 155cm gremlin could never beat my 170cm majesty.

“What about this? If you can grab my arm, I’ll run with you.”

“It’s on! I’ll grab your arm for sure!”

Oi, what was that look? Why was she treating this like a new amusement park attraction?

She could make a cute face all she wanted, but she could never shrink me to her height.

“Yah! Here!”

Huh?! She jumped right into me, our bodies were practically touching each other now.

Oh no… I could smell her scent… The refreshing smell of citrus…

“Yaah! Yaay! I grabbed your arm! Hehehe!”

One moment of carelessness gave birth to a fatal mistake. Himawari’s scent distracted me and I inadvertently lowered my hands.

This was the horror a natural bitch could bring… I’ll do my best to last longer tomorrow.

“Alright, let’s go! Let’s dash!”

“…Fine.”

In the end, even after I showed her my true self, our morning routine didn’t change.

Well, whatever.

* * *

“Good morning, boys!”

Himawari’s voice echoed through the classroom as she entered.

“S-So tired…”

Meanwhile, I was stoned. I had to drag my limp legs to where my desk was. When I arrived, I immediately slumped my body on the desk. Seriously, this gotta be the worst morning I have ever experienced in my life… Need… Rest…

“…Hahaha…”

Oh, whoops, I accidentally let out a laugh that made me sound like a target of assassination.

I really shouldn’t behave this way, but it was hard to go against my true nature.

Because, you know, I’ve been doing well these days, haven’t I?

I made up with Himawari, Sun-chan and Cosmos.

Even after we showed our true nature to each other, we stayed as friends. If anything, it only strengthened our bonds.

I worked really hard for this, you know? I was amazing, wasn’t I? This was what I call a wonderful make up!

If this kept up, maybe Himawari and Cosmos would eventually develop a special feeling for me and my wonderful school life would begin by then! Man, I couldn’t wait to see what the future holds!

The dense, innocent boy trope was already out of season! Nowadays, people wanted to see—

“Heya, Joro, can I talk to you for a second?”

“Hm? What’s up, Asunaro?”

As I started to get carried away, Asunaro suddenly popped out from my side.

I didn’t know why, but she had a big smile on her face.

“This is a little important, so, can you come with me for a second?”

“Can’t you just talk to me here?”

“No. Here’s no good!”

She didn’t want to talk here? Did I do something to her? No, I didn’t remember doing anything…

But, off the chance that I did something and I was unaware of it…

“Alright, after you, Asunaro.”

“Okay! Thank you!”

Whatever. It would be easier to get the answer I wanted from the person herself than guessing it on my own.

And so, I got up from my seat and left the classroom with Asunaro.

* * *

“No one can overhear our talk here!”

“I guess.”

We went to the rooftop together. When we arrived, Asunaro let out an excited voice.

Right, I hadn’t been here since the time when I placed a letter of challenge inside Sun-chan’s shoebox.

I’ve grown up since then.

“So, what’s up?”

Anyway, let’s stop being nostalgic for a second.

For now, I had to find out what Asunaro was up to. What exactly was it that made her not want to talk in class?

“Ahahaha! Y-You see…”

Hm? Was something wrong? Her voice cracked…

When I took a close look at her, I could see her cheeks were red and she was desperately trying to avoid eye contact with me.

“Y-You see…”

Could it be, she— No, no, no! There was no way that was the case!

“A-Actually… I-I…”

Was this the advent of a new heroine?! No way! What kind of wish fulfillment romcom was this series exactly?! How could they introduce another heroine at this point?!

“I-I’m interested in you, Joro!”

Eh? Really? Was she for real?! My life finally turned into a proper romcom?!

I wasn’t hearing things, right? She really said that she was interested in me, right?!

And since she went out of her way to bring me here, that meant she was interested in me in that way, right?! What should I do?!

Asunaro might be a cute girl and I knew that she was a good girl. But, we didn’t know each other that well yet! But, if I were to reject her here… I wouldn’t get another chance like this!

“W-Why don’t we move over there? W-We can’t stand around forever, right?”

Sweating profusely, probably out of embarrassment, Asunaro pointed at a certain area on the rooftop. So, I followed her and sat down next to her— Wait a minute…

Just the other day, I came here with Himawari to make up with Sun-chan.

Back then, it wasn’t here. I looked around to check back then, but there wasn’t even a trace of it being here!

And yet… And yet… Why was it here?! Why was the bench⁶Cue our real MC. here?!

“Hawawa…”

Calm down! This wasn’t the time to make a panicked voice similar to a certain military strategist’s⁷Sangokushi manga reference. ‘Hawawa’ seems to be Zhuge Liang’s iconic line in that manga. Feel free to correct me since I haven’t read the manga, though I don’t know if the translator of that manga left his laugh untranslated or not if you read it in English. It also seems to be a meme, but I don’t want to dig through 2ch and NND to understand the context.!

Besides, everything hadn’t been decided yet!

“U-Um… Do you mind sitting next to me first?”

NOOOO! DON’T USE THAT LINE ON ME AGAIN!!

“S-Sure…”

I gulped and followed her instruction to sit down on her left— No, she made a space for me on her right side and beckoned me to sit there.

However, even after that, Asunaro didn’t continue her words.

Stop! Don’t play around with your hair like that!

“Um… Uu…”

Stop acting so shy! Act like your usual self, Asunaro!

“I-In truth… I’ve always been interested in you, Joro…”

…No, wait. In all the previous cases, when I was in this situation, everyone didn’t give out any names to me.

But this time, Asunaro specifically named me. That meant…

I still had a chance? Was this a blessing from God above?

“When I think about you, Joro, my chest suddenly feels tight. Just being able to see you every day makes me so happy. I know that this might sound selfish of me, but I always forced myself to make an excuse to talk with you…”

See?! She specifically named me!

You guys remember the current standing for this kind of event? Two for Sun-chan, one for me and one for the demon king!

With this one, I could finally catch up to Sun-chan!

I had a good feeling about this! Guess I could open myself to negotiate with God and the world itself!

“Joro…”

Asunaro’s face came closer. Slowly, but surely.

She had the look of a maiden in love. Well, it couldn’t be helped, right~?

As our faces got close enough to the point that we could feel each other’s breath, she closed her eyes tightly/

Joro! Showtime!

“You scum. The enemy of all women on earth!”

Pardon?

“W-What…?”

“You’re three-timing all those girls, aren’t you, Joro?”

“T-Three-timing?! Me?! With who?!”

“…Heh. It’s no use trying to play dumb with me.”

No, no, playing dumb? Girl, I didn’t even know what in the hell were you talking about.

“It all started last year, when the baseball club went to the finals at the regionals!”

We went back there again?! How the hell did that event lead to me trying to three-time girls?!

“At that time, when everyone was cheering for the baseball team, you were staring intently at a girl with a big chest! That was suspicious!”

That one was correct. I was looking at the demon king’s chest, but I didn’t know it was her!

I still remembered it because I moved to a seat where I could get a better view, but when I got there, a foul ball flew straight to my head. Anyway, I got why she’d thought my action back then was suspicious, but I still couldn’t see the correlation between it and her accusation.

“That’s why, I thought to myself! Since this person with lecherous eyes loves cute girls so much to the point that he’d change his seat for that, maybe he’s the kind of person who’d throw away all his morals to fulfill his desires!”

That was what I’d call an active imagination! How the fuck did she manage to come to that conclusion?!

I loved cute girls though, she was right about that part.

“W-Wait a second, but that has nothing to do with me three-timing or whatnot!”

“I knew you’d say that, Joro, so place your hand on your chest and listen to the voice of your heart.”

“What’s there to listen to?! Also, I’ve never even been in a relationship before, how could I three-time someone that didn’t exist?!”

“Haah… I wish you’d just admit that you’re guilty, it’ll make everything easier for both of us… Well, it can’t be helped then.”

Asunaro let out a sigh of dismay. I swear, I was this close to slapping her…

“Since you insisted, I’ll spell it out for you! You’ve been hanging around with Himawari, Sanshokuin-san and the President, haven’t you? You’re taking advantage of their pure, innocent hearts!”

I had a feeling that she’d mention those three and that premonition came true! But I didn’t date any of them!

“There’s no way that’s the case! If anything I’m the victim when it comes to my relationship with Pansy!”

“I can’t believe you’re still blaming other girls for your own sins! You’re so unsightly! Besides, there’s already evidence that you’ve been three-timing them!”

“E-Evidence?”

Why the hell was I acting like a cornered criminal? There was no way that she’d have evidence on something that didn’t exist!

“Hehehe!”

With a fearless smile, she pulled off three photos from her pocket and held them out in front of me.

“Your first victim is Himawari. You walk to school with her every day, hand in hand, right, Joro?”

The first photo. It was a photo of Himawari hugging my arm with a big smile on her face.

No, like… She’d do it in class too, not only on our way to school…

“Your second victim is the President. The other day, you grabbed her shoulders and yelled at her to show off your love to her, didn’t you?”

The second photo. It was a photo of me yelling at Cosmos while grabbing her shoulders.

Right… She was there too… With a camera in hand… Wait, wasn’t this bad for me…?

“Your third victim is Sanshokuin-san. Joro, don’t you have a matching cup with her? From that, it’s clear that you two are very into each other.”

The third photo. It was a photo of a certain pair of cups in the library. Two names written in each of the cups. The two cups were placed next to each other and formed a full heart mark.

PAAAANSYYY! WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE DOING?! HOW COULD SHE LET SOMEONE ELSE SEE THIS?!

“By the way, I’ve seen you two staring at each other’s faces on the street on a certain night!”

She was there too?! What the hell?! How could I not notice her?!

“So, Joro, are you still saying that you don’t have any special relationships with those three girls?”

I wanted to reject her accusations so badly, but I couldn’t!

…Not good. Of all people, it just had to be Asunaro who misunderstood my relationship with those three.

For your information, Asunaro was a talented member of the newspaper club. She created various legends from all the articles she wrote.

One time, she wrote an article about the magnificence of a confession and made people start to confess to the girls they liked and they managed to become couples!

Another time, she wrote an article about a female student’s lost keychain that made everyone in the school want to look for it and they actually found the thing!

There was also the time when she exposed the former head of the kendo club for embezzling club funds, a feat that even Cosmos couldn’t achieve!

In that sense, she was more influential than Cosmos, let alone Himawari! Not to mention that she was practically a detective with amazing investigation skills!

If this girl were to write an article about me three-timing with those girls… My school life would be over. I would be treated even worse than back when I was isolated by the rest of the student body.

“W-Wait a minute! Your stories are true, but I’m not in a relationship with any of them…!”

“Use your common sense, Joro.”

Speak for yourself! I wasn’t the one who made wild assumptions about someone else’s relationship!

“Just think about it, one guy gets along that well with three girls at once but he doesn’t have special relationships with them? What do you think is this, a romcom manga? There’s no way reality is that sweet, am I wrong?”

It was true that reality was cruel to me… But, even if this was a romcom manga, I wouldn’t be anything other than a mob!

If I was a romcom manga protagonist, wouldn’t I be able to get out of this situation easily?!

“I’ll never approve of your three-timing attempt, Joro! What, do you seriously think that you can make all of them happy just because you love all of them? Don’t be silly! Girls are the ones who’ll suffer in that kind of relationship! Do you think they’d want to share the man they love with someone else? Stop being selfish! I will never let them get hurt because of your selfishness!”

“Don’t mess with me! What selfishness?! I just want to get along with all of them and nothing more! I just want to have a fun and fulfilling school life! Asunaro, do you know how painful it is to be misunderstood by others?! I haven’t done anything to earn this but why are you pushing me around because of your selfish misunderstandings! I just want a peaceful life and nothing else! Why can’t you understand this?!”

I felt like crying after saying that loudly.

“If you want me to be honest, I don’t trust you at all.”

“Then, what do you want me to do? What can I do for you to trust me?”

“Hm… Let’s see…”

What choice did I have other than doing this?!

Also, stop putting your finger on your forehead while you think! Who do you think you were, Furuhata-san⁸Furuhata Ninzaburo, a detective from the TV series Furuhata Ninzaburo as well as the main character of the show.?!

“Alright, let’s do this. I’m going to keep an eye on you closely for a period of time, Joro.”

“W-What? A-Are you going to conduct a hot and steamy interview session with me? Well, you should just ask me! I’ll gladly—”

“I will personally monitor your activity and see if your three-timing attempt is merely my assumption or not. If it really is just my assumption, then we’re all good.”

Ah, she brushed it off. I thought I could turn this pinch into an opportunity, but I failed.

“However, if it isn’t… You get what I’m trying to say, right?”

No. And I didn’t want to know.

“By the way, here’s how the article I’m going to write looks like currently.”

Asunaro smiled as she pulled out something out of nowhere. It looked like the paper that was distributed through the school.

I took it from her and read the words on the front page…

“What the hell?!”

I screamed toward the sun. The words written on that paper was ‘Scum of the Century: Kisaragi Amatsuyu! Suspected to be Three-Timing!’

“Don’t worry, I haven’t distributed it yet. I also withheld the names of the victims for their safety. I’m going to publish it during the Hyakka Festival, so I’ll be keeping a close eye on you in the meantime! Depending on your actions, I’ll change the content of the article accordingly!”

She wanted to distribute this during the festival?! O-Oh no… W-What should I do…?

The festival wouldn’t be attended only by students and their parents from our school, but from other schools as well!

Furthermore, the newspaper club had a space to publish their article at the front gate!

If she were to publish this article during that time, my school life would be over!

I had to stop her from publishing it, no matter what the cost…

“That’s all, let’s go back to the classroom now. I’ll be in your care, Joro.”

Think… How to get myself out of this predicament… Ah, right!

Since the root cause of this was because I was acting like a romcom protagonist despite not being one, I should just stop that and act like a mob! The mobbest of the mob!

To do that, I’d have to lay low, participate in the school events without doing anything unnecessary!

Avoid all the romcom cliches! Onwards to my uneventful school life!

I wouldn’t give out love advice to anyone, I wouldn’t do anything at all! I’d live the boring life of a mob!

Good grief… It couldn’t be helped… Let’s enjoy my completely normal day to day life!

* * *

On my way back to the classroom, a demon in a ponytail was walking right next to me.

“I told you I’m harmless! You don’t need to follow me this closely!”

“Then, you don’t need to mind me. If I find out that you are innocent, that’ll be the end of this story!”

I glared at her, but nothing happened. Asunaro didn’t drop her smile as she kept on walking beside me.

Dammit… I guess I should stop complaining. I was just wasting my breath.

Anyway, all I needed to do was to avoid a situation where I could be misunderstood by her.

For me, the most dangerous place to be in would be the classroom, where Himawari was at and the library, where Pansy was at.

And soon, I’d arrive at the classroom. I should try to come up with a countermeasure against those two girls so that I could go through this safely…

“Heya! I’ve been waiting for you, Joro-kun!”

Ah, a wild Cosmos appeared! What will Joro do?

[Fight                   Bag]

[Joromon            Run]

>Run

>Run

>Run

“Hey, where are you going? I’m the student council president, you know? Do you think it’s appropriate to ignore me like that?”

Can’t escape⁹If you haven’t figured it out already, this is a Pokemon reference. The game.!

“W-What is it, Prez?”

The student council president herself visited my classroom. It couldn’t be any more romcom-esque than this!

How could she still have that girly smile on her face after seeing my twitchy smile?!

“Now, things are getting interesting, aren’t they?”

Standing right next to her was the ponytailed demon with a red pen in her hand. She took out a piece of paper, all ready to record everything.

“Ta-dah! Look at this!”

Cosmos said that in an unusually high-pitched voice that sounded nothing like her usual self. She held out a piece of paper from her note and showed it to me.

My name, Himawari’s, Cosmos’ and some girl I didn’t know were written on it.

What the hell was this?

“You were chosen as the male dancer for the Kabuten! So, clear up your schedule after school! We’ll be practicing the dance starting today!”

“…What?”

I’ve already explained about Kabuten, but let me do it again.

Kabuten was a very popular event in which three girls got to dance with a boy as their partner. That was the rough explanation I gave you guys the other day, right? Alright, now I’ll add some details to that explanation.

In our school, there was a legend about it.

It said, the boy who was chosen to be a part of it, would definitely marry one of the girls he danced with.

In fact, last year and the year before that, all the boys who were chosen got into a good relationship with one of the girls they danced with. I heard that some of the graduates even got married to their Kabuten partner.

Well, of course there were years when this didn’t happen, that was why I wouldn’t bet my money on it happening to me, but, to young boys who were trying to get a girlfriend, this would be an event that they wouldn’t want to miss. That was why the event got so popular among the student body.

As for how you’d get chosen, they had different criterias to fulfill for both boys and girls. The method they used were also quite unique.

They limited the participants number because everyone wanted to join in for the fun and if they just accepted everyone, then it’d be a nightmare to organize the event.

For the girls, they’d be chosen by voting.

All the students in the school would vote for a girl they wanted to see in the event and three girls with highest votes would be chosen as participants. In a sense, it was similar to a beauty contest.

But, that didn’t mean the other girls wouldn’t have a chance to participate.

For example, last year, the ones who got the first and second highest vote were Cosmos and Himawari respectively… And they refused to participate in the event.

The reason being, Cosmos was busy with her duty as the vice president of the student council and Himawari was busy with her club. Because of this, the fourth and fifth most voted girls were chosen as their substitutes.

And so, last year, the girls who participated in Kabuten were the third, fourth and fifth most voted girls. As I recall, they would go on this way until they reached the tenth most voted girl. If they still couldn’t find enough participants up until that point, then they would nominate them instead.

As for the boy participant, they decided it by lottery.

There was a deeper reason for it.

In fact, the boy’s participant used to be decided by vote, but an incident happened.

To put it in perspective, the Kabuten was a perfect opportunity for the boys to get a girlfriend.

And so, one day, they started a blood-soaked crusade to be in that spot.

Some of them tried all sorts of dirty tricks to get the votes for themselves. Some of them targeted the one who got voted and and injured them so that they wouldn’t be able to participate. Because of this, they changed the system to a lottery, so there wouldn’t be that big of a riot even if they didn’t get chosen.

The new system was like a dream came true to all the unpopular boys. In fact, I would be delighted to be chosen if the talk I had with Asunaro didn’t happen. I mean, an opportunity like this wouldn’t come often for a mob like me.

Too bad it happened at the worst time possible! I swear I almost yelled at the heavens for doing this to me!

However! Even though I was a mob, I wouldn’t fall into despair! I would face whatever the heavens threw at me courageously!

Remember what I had just explained? The girls could refuse to participate if they didn’t want to, so could the boy! And that would be my next course of action! The best plan to get out of this situation while avoiding the possible romcom cliches!

If a mob was chosen, then it was his duty to reject it and leave everything to the protagonist!

“Um, sorry, Prez, but… Can I withdraw my participation for the Kabuten?”

“Eh?! But, you can’t! It’s already set in stone! Besides, didn’t you tell me back in the student council room that you’d dyuuu anything fow me~”

I certainly did not say it the way she said it!

“Hmm I see… Anything, huh? That’s a good line to make a girl fall in love with you…”

No, I had no such intention! I said that because I wanted to make up with her and nothing more!

So, stop writing in your note already!

“D-Do you really hate the idea of dancing together with me? Even though I’m looking forward to it…”

Yes! Because if I were to do that while Asunaro was still around, she’d misunderstand my intention again!

Can someone please, swap places with me. Cosmos started tearing up. I can’t…

“I was about to refuse and focus on tending to my council duties again this year, but as soon as I heard that you were chosen, I changed my mind, you know…?”

“No, I’m just joking! It’s a joke! Of course I’d participate!”

“I see! So you were joking! Jeez, you gave me quite a scare, Joro-kun!”

I succumbed eventually. There was no other choice than that in this situation…

“Oh, by the way, if you are worried about the legend involving the Kabuten, you don’t need to worry. According to my research, only 30% of the chosen couples ended up marrying each other.”

Oh, that was great information to say while Asunaro was still here.

She could take it as Cosmos trying to deny her affection to me in a roundabout way.

“That’s why, let’s do our best together! If we end up dating after all… L-Let’s do our best then too…”

Why did you feel the need to say that?! I knew that you were joking, but what would this ponytailed devil think?!

I legitimately thought I could count on you, yet you…

“Uff!”

“If you’re going to participate, then, I’ll do it too, Joro!”

HIMAWARIII! Why did you hug me from behind so suddenly like that?! Asunaro was still here!

“Oh my, after the Prez, it’s Himawari next, huh, Joro? What a sinful man, you are.”

Asunaro’s red pen burned bright red! Its loud roar told her to grab the scoop!

If I didn’t do something, I’d end up erupting to the heat end! I had to avoid any physical contact—¹⁰G Gundam reference. It’s the God Finger chant.

“Ah, Joro-kun, your phone fell off.”

With a slightly annoyed smile, Cosmos pointed that out to me.

Nice happy little accident! My phone fell off my pocket because of the impact I received from Himawari’s hug. Alright, time to use it as an excuse so she could get off of me!

“Really? Oi, Himawari, get off, I’m going to get my—”

“Ah, I’ll pick it up for you.”

Oi! I didn’t need the help! At this rate, Himawari would be…

“T-That’s…”

What happened?! Why did Cosmos start blushing as soon as she touched my phone?!

I didn’t have a not safe for work picture on my lockscreen didn’t I? I’ve deleted everything clean!

“J-Joro-kun, you’re still using this…?”

Cosmos asked me with a look mixed with confusion and happiness.

What was wrong with me using the phone? …Wait! Aaaaah!

“What’s wrong, Cosmos-san?”

Himawari! It was great that you got off of my back, but you shouldn’t ask her that question!

“T-This is…”

Stop! Wipe that happy expression on your face! STOOOOPP!

“This phone case was something that I gifted him a long time ago. I didn’t think that he’d still be using it after everything that happened…”

She didn’t stop! She was unstoppable! Look at her happy face!

The happy little accident turned into a sad little accident!

I had no particular reason to keep using it! My mom raised me to not let things go to waste! That was all!

“Ah, sorry! I stared at it for too long, didn’t I? Here’s your phone, Joro-kun.”

“…Thank you very much.”

“…You’re welcome.”

The atmosphere turned bittersweet! But deep inside I was crying!

“Hmm~ So the Prez gifted something to Joro, huh?”

Jeez! Why the hell the romcom cliches kept on coming?!

The heavens weren’t trying to troll me, right?! No, they definitely were! Dammit!

“Anyway, that’s all, so see you later! Hehe, I’m looking forward to it~”

Why did you feel the need to say that last part of the sentence?

Oi, what was with that blush in your face?! Couldn’t you just walk away normally?!

“You know, if we follow the legend, our relationship would become even more special, Joro! Ehehe!”

Himawari! You need to clarify that our relationship was nothing more than childhood friends! This devil would definitely misunderstand your words! You were just adding nitroglycerin on fire¹¹Nitroglycerin will explode as soon as it makes contact with fire.!

“Just by following you for a short time already made me even more convinced to release that article, Joro. Or else, why would the Prez look forward to dancing with you? And apparently you’re already in a relationship with Himawari…”

Was this what they call the ‘period of popularity’ that would only come once in a lifetime?

Well, I’ve already had enough of it, so could someone please end it quickly…?

* * *

First period, Modern Japanese. I couldn’t hear what the teacher was talking about, too busy thinking.

…Seriously, this was bad.

In comparison to the previous time, this time, my problem was much worse.

The previous problem only affected my reputation inside the school, but not this time.

If she were to publish that article during the Hyakka Festival, the students’ parents would get to read it, including mine.

The damage that would be done to my reputation would spread outside the school.

Worse came to worst, the PTA¹²Parent-Teacher Association. would be involved and they would trouble my parents for it…

And, although I doubted this would happen, there was a possibility that my relationship with Sun-chan would deteriorate again if he were to read that article.

We just made up with each other, I didn’t want our relationship to become strained again.

I had to come up with a way to prevent Asunaro from publishing that article.

But, I couldn’t take an immediate action at this stage. I had to understand my current situation first.

Let’s begin by analyzing my relationship with the three girls.

From there, I should be able to figure out something. Alright, thinking time, start!

First: My relationship with Himawari.

Himawari was a childhood friend of mine. She had a special talent, which was being a natural bitch.

Just because we knew each other for a long time, she always acted unnecessarily close to me and gave me hugs without warnings. On top of that, because she was cute, people kept looking at us with jealousy.

Normally, I could just brush her actions using the fact that we were childhood friends as an excuse, but that wouldn’t cut it in the current situation.

If Asunaro were to see her hugging me out in the open, she’d misunderstand and think that we were in some kind of a special relationship or something.

That meant I was screwed.

Second: My relationship with Cosmos.

She was my senpai and we used to talk to each other a lot because I used to be a member of the student council. Now that I wasn’t a member anymore, I thought that we’d talk to each other less, but that wasn’t the case at all.

It was because of my sudden participation in the Kabuten.

My problem with her was that she tends to go overboard..

Back when we were studying for the midterms, she’d make us some onigiris and called them snacks.

I wouldn’t be surprised if she were to do a similar thing later.

If Asunaro were to see her doing something like that, she’d misunderstand and think that I was trying to take advantage of her.

That meant I was screwed.

Third: My relationship with Pansy.

Did I even need to to think about her… Huh? I got an email…

[But we promised each other’s future.]

[That means I’m screwed.]

Done, I replied to her text. Now, I’d appreciate it if she didn’t use her mind reading power on me.

Anyway, the first period was almost over and I hadn’t got a clue on what to do.

Should I explain the situation to everyone and ask for their help?

…No. I wasn’t Sun-chan, but asking for the girls’ help would be lame of me.

Besides, Asunaro promised me that if she couldn’t prove my three-timing, she wouldn’t publish the article at all. That meant, all I had to do was to do nothing!

Himawari. Cosmos. Pansy. Fear not!

I wouldn’t do something pathetic like troubling you guys!

* * *

“…That’s why, at this rate, a nasty article about me will be published! So, can you please help me out?”

Lunch break. I called Cosmos and Himawari to the library, explained my situation to them and begged for their help in a polite manner with the full intention to trouble them.

“Mm! Your sweets are as tasty as always, Pansy-chan!”

“I’m glad you enjoy it.”

In front of me, Himawari was eating a muffin. Clearly she was having the time of her life.

I got her feeling. Pansy’s sweets were amazing.

“Do you want to try my sandwich, Pansy-san? If I may say so myself, I’m quite a good cook.”

“Thanks for the food.”

Sitting beside Himawari was Cosmos. She handed Pansy a sandwich.

Giving Pansy her own cooking in return for the sweets she made, what a polite girl.

“It’s tasty.”

And, sitting beside me, Pansy, looked happier than usual.

Seeing them getting along like sisters made my heart feel warm— Wait, no!

“…Oi. Are you guys even listening to me?!”

How could those guys ignore the plea that I made with all my might?!

They didn’t know how much I had suffered all this time!

That devil really went all out on following and asking me questions!

She completely forgot about the concept of time, place and occasion and followed me literally everywhere!

During recess, she kept a distance of 1 meter from me and refused to leave my side!

Not to mention all the accusations she made based on her own wild misunderstandings! She kept asking me questions like, ‘Are you going to add another girl to your list?’ or ‘When will you plan to meet the three of them in secret?’ She drove me insane to the point that I had to break my own words to not trouble the three girls!

I could only escape because I faked going to the toilet five minutes before the lunch break ended!

“I heard you! The other day, Asunaro-chan asked me, ‘What do you think of Joro?’ I answered, ‘I like him!’”

What the fuck were you doing behind my back?!

That was a trick question, you natural bitch! Why did you fall for it?!

Also, I knew that you became a mess whenever you talked to someone that you liked romantically!

“Asunaro-san also asked me the same question. I told her that I like you as much as I like omu-rice. You’re someone important to me. That kind of answer shouldn’t raise any kind of misunderstandings.”

That was one hell of a comparison! Were you implying that you’d never fall in love with omu-rice? Heresy!

Also, the second half of your answer would definitely cause misunderstandings!

“Hanetachi-san also asked me. My answer was ‘I love him more than anything in this world.’ That should change the content of the article from you trying to three-timing to us being in a lovey dovey relationship.”

That didn’t change anything! It was still a horrible outcome to me!

Damn… There was no once I could count on here!

I thought they got my back, but instead they gave Asunaro more materials to work with behind my back!

Whatever, I shouldn’t cry over spilt milk. Since they were all here, let’s talk to them about our future course of actions.

“Anyway, can you guys stop talking to me for a while? At least until Asunaro–”

“No.” “No way.” “I refuse.”

R.I.P my future.

“I just made up with you, I don’t want to stop talking to you again!”

Himawari said with a pout. Her words made me happy, but it wouldn’t help my situation at all.

“I understand your predicament, but we’re going to participate in the Kabuten together. If I were to stop talking with you, it’ll be a little bit troubling, don’t you think? …Besides, I’m lonely…”

Cosmos said as she munched on her sandwich.

That was a good argument, but that last part of her sentence felt off…

“What about our promise?”

And I already figured out what Pansy’s answer was.

Calm down. There was no use being upset with those three.

Calm down… Caaalm dooown. Be nice. Act cute. And strike quickly!

“Then, can you guys help me with another twing instead? Help me cwear up Asunaro’s misunderstandings.”

“““…”””

That cutesy sound I made had an effect on them! They placed their hands on their heads and began to think! …While frowning. I guess it wasn’t good enough¹³He actually used -nanoda at the end of his previous sentence, which was used by Hamtaro from the series Hamtaro. He also made a reference to Hamtaro here, but I can’t translate it without it sounding awkward..

“Hmm… Ah! Why don’t we just stay together all the time! That way, Asunaro-chan will think that we’re just really really good friends!”

“If anything, she’ll think that I’m up to no good with you three. Besides, that won’t solve the core of the issue here. Rejected.”

“Boo! But, it’ll be fun!”

We were here to discuss how to clear up her misunderstandings, not to have fun.

“Then, why don’t you talk to Asunaro-san directly? Just tell her that everything is her misunderstanding. She might not believe you completely, but if she believes you a little, it should be enough.”

“Done that already. The result? She said ‘I’ll be keeping a closer eye on you in the meantime.’ That girl literally followed me everywhere during the recess and lunch break, and I bet that she’d continue on doing so for a good while. There’s no point in doing the same thing again at this point. Rejected.”

“I see. So, she’s following you around now? But…”

Cosmos took out her notebook and started to scribble on it.

She didn’t continue her words, but it seemed like she was on to something, so I guess I could expect her help later in the future.

“I have a good idea. Why don’t you just go out with me and—”

“Rejected.”

“…At least let me finish.”

I would let you finish if you were to say something more realistic, Pansy-san.

“Joro-kun, may I?”

At that moment, Cosmos stopped writing on her note and raised her hand.

“What is it?”

“Why do you care so much if she were to publish that article? Honestly, if I were you, I wouldn’t care. It’s just filled with baseless accusations and assumptions anyway, it’s nothing worth noting.”

“T-That’s… W-Well, firstly, it would trouble my parents if a story like that were to spread around… A-And, I don’t want Sun-chan to think of me badly when we just made up with each other…”

“Based on your tone, the second reason seems to be your main reason. To be more specific, you don’t want your relationship with Oga-kun, Hinata-san, Akino-senpai and me to worsen. Am I right?”

Stop trying to read my mind, Pansy!

Also, you were off by a bit! I didn’t care about your relationship with me!

“Eh, is that it? You don’t need to worry then! No matter what happens, my feelings for you won’t change, Joro! I’m sure Sun-chan feels the same way! Have some faith in him!”

With a smile on her face, Himawari patted my head. So cute…

“Same with me. If you’re worried about Sun-chan’s feelings, you should quickly clear things up with him. I’ll help you out if you need me. Of course, I’ll be telling the teachers the truth as well, so you don’t need to worry about troubling your parents.”

Cosmos said with a gentle smile. That was a reassuring words to hear, coming from the student council president herself.

“I won’t go away from your life. We’ll be together forever even if you don’t like it.”

That would create a whole different problem than the matter with the article for me.

“But, if she were to publish that article, I wouldn’t be the only one affected. You guys will too…”

“I don’t care! You don’t need to worry about it! This conversation is over!”

Ugh! It was hard to go against Himawari when she acted like this.

Also, it seemed like everyone didn’t really care about this matter… There was nothing more that I could say to them.

“Fine, fine. But Asunaro will still be following me around, so I’m not going to involve myself with any of you for more than necessary, okay?”

“It’s fine. Even the slightest interaction with you will make me happy. I’m such an easy woman, don’t you think?”

Considering the amount of mental strain that I had to go through during that slight interaction with you, I’d say the opposite.

Anyway, Asunaro wasn’t here. So I guess, I could let my guard down for a little.

After we were done talking about my situation, we started chatting like normal.

Himawari was in her usual high spirits, talking about TV shows that she watched while munching on Pansy’s handmade sweets.

Cosmos checked on her phone, then she stared at me with a strange look before calling out to me.

“Joro-kun… Can you join me after school today?”

“What for? Practicing for the Kabuten?”

“No, we won’t be practicing until all the participants have been decided. So, what we need to do now is to decide on the participants.”

“What?”

“You see, the other participant, the first year, wanted to withdraw from participating.”

Huh, that was unusual… Or not. Himawari and Cosmos did the same thing last year.

“Then, why don’t we get the fourth most voted girl to substitute for her?”

The rule was, if someone were to withdraw their participation, the next most voted girl would become her substitute.

Since the rule was clear, why didn’t they just follow it?

“You see… Yamada contacted me just now. Apparently the girls in the top ten apart from us informed the council about their withdrawals.”

By the way, Yamada was the treasurer.

He was irrelevant, so I kept his introduction short.

Dude was just a mob character.

“What? All of them? Why?”

When I asked that question, Cosmos showed me a troubled look.

“I don’t know. That’s why I was thinking of asking them directly later. I want you to come with me for that reason. Himawari-san has to attend her club activities, but you don’t. So, what do you think?”

“I have to refuse.”

What was she thinking? Did she forget that Asunaro was keeping a close eye on me?

There was no way that I’d go out of my way to something that reeked of romcom cliche with her while that devil was hot on my tail.

“B-But… I thought you’d help me…”

“I literally just told you that I won’t be interacting with any of you any more than necessary. I’ll just participate to dance in the Kabuten, I won’t be able to help gathering the participants. I can’t afford to let Asunaro get any more misunderstandings.”

“I-I see… I guess you have a point…”

Even if you acted so coyly while writing your note like that, there wasn’t anything that I could do.

“Uu… Now I regret removing you from the council… I just want to do something together with you again, Joro-kun…”

Look at this girl. She could tug on my heartstring in the middle of her depression.

If it was anyone else, they’d definitely fall for her ruse, but not me, not today.

“Don’t you pity her, Joro? Why can’t you help her?”

“Himawari. It will be better for her that I don’t hang around with her too much in front of the public.”

“That’s true. It will be better for Akino-senpai to go by herself if her goal is to persuade the other girls to participate.”

“S-See?”

I could feel the sarcasm beneath her words. Was she trying to say that I was ugly?

“Haah… I can’t ask the other council members for their help because they’re already so busy. I guess I’ll do it by myself. This world is so cold and lonely…”

Even back when I was still in the student council, this girl was the only girl who’d take on the menial chores.

She had more workload than the rest of us, but she somehow could get the work done.

Since that was the case, I trusted her to be able to do everything by herself! That was the student council president we all knew and loved!

“It can’t be helped then. I’ll do my best to appeal to the girls about how wonderful of a person our boy participant this year is…”

Wait. What was that? What did she just say?

“Uh, Prez?”

“What is it, Joro-kun?”

“What did you say just now? You’re going to appeal to the girls about how wonderful of a person I am?”

“Yes. I’ll tell them that you’re someone I trust the most, the kindest man I’ve ever known and anyone who’s going to date you will be the luckiest girl in the world.”

Not good… I had to do something.

If Asunaro were to hear something like that coming out of her mouth, she’d misunderstand everything again!

“…You know what, Prez? I’ll go with you.”

“Eh, really? Yay! Thank you!”

The unaware walking romcom cliche expressed her happiness in a girlish way.

Seriously, I hoped that she wouldn’t be this clueless about herself.

“Yes, yes, but under one condition.”

I’d really rather not go, but it would be even more dangerous to let her go off on her own. I had no choice but to go with her to prevent her spreading even a bigger misunderstanding.

But, going out without any kind of preparation would be foolish.

“What is it?”

“You see…”

And so I told her my idea. What she should do while we were out there.

“I see! I’m a little nervous about it, but I’ll do my best!”

“Then, I’ll leave it to you.”

“Yes, leave it to me!”

Cosmos squeezed my hand with a gentle smile on her face. Seriously, stop doing this already—

“…Hm? Oi, Pansy, what are you doing?”

I suddenly felt a strange sensation from my side, only to find Pansy grabbing the hem of my shirt while pouting.

She tugged at it repeatedly and it was getting annoying.

“Pat my head.”

“Why?”

“I’m lonely.”

What the hell was she on about? Did she genuinely think that I’d do that?!

I was about to reject her, but that book was already in her right hand.

If I were to reject her, I would be kissing Fabre’s Book of Insect again.

“…Is this enough?”

So I complied with her and stroked her head. To my surprise, her hair was silkier than I thought.

“Thank you. I’m satisfied now.”

That got her in a good mood, so I showed her that she turned my mood sour with my face. As a response, she hit me with Fabre’s. I guess there were just some things in this world that I was incompatible with.

* * *

After school. As I left the classroom, Asunaro followed behind me with her ponytail swaying while staring at me with an expectant look.

“Where are you going, Joro?”

“I’m going to help Prez persuade someone to join the Kabuten. The last participant bailed.”

“Huh. I thought you won’t be doing anything else for today, guess you’re wilder than I expected.”

I didn’t want to do it! But, if I didn’t do it, things would become even worse for me!

But, I wouldn’t go unprepared! I had a plan!

It was called, ‘Operation Cosmos and I are Just Friends!’

The goal of the operation was to convince Asunaro that Cosmos and I were just friends!

With this, her misunderstandings would get less wild, or in the best case scenario, disappear completely!

But, there was one hurdle to this plan. My attitude.

When speaking with Cosmos, I kept using honorifics, but my overall attitude toward her was pretty much casual.

Because of that, there was a huge chance that Asunaro would misunderstand our relationship.

So today, I’d be using that mode again! Let’s go!

“Alright, I’ll do my best today! Let’s persuade someone to participate!”

“Huh? Did your personality just change, Joro? Your eyes are filled with hope now.”

What was Asunaro talking about? Personality change? I had always been like this.

“What are you talking about, Asunaro? Are you okay?”

Now, let’s leave the misunderstanding machine behind and head to the place where Cosmos was waiting for me.

By the way, if you thought that Cosmos would be confused if I were to meet her in this dense and innocent mode of mine, fret not!

I had already explained my plan to her! I told her that I would be in this mode and that she should treat me like back when I was still a member of the student council.

Now that I’ve finished all my preparations, I was ready to go! Though, I still felt a little nervous.

As I went down the stairs to the floor where the first grade classes were, I saw Cosmos waiting for me there.

She was scribbling her note with a serious expression. Maybe she was trying to come up with ways to persuade the girls.

Ah, she noticed us and smiled at us. She was as pretty as ever.

“Did you wait for long, Prez—”

“Heya, Kisaragi-dono! I’ve been expecting you!”

What? Who? Why? Why did she use the samurai accent? Was this her attempt to fulfill my request?

I couldn’t believe that there was actually someone who was this bad at acting…

“U-Um, what’s wrong, Prez?”

“Nothing? Am I not acting the same as always? Hahaha!”

I didn’t recall you ever acting like this back when I was in the student council.

Out of nervousness, she somehow became a samurai… Unbelievable…

“My, hello, Hanetachi-dono! You seem to be in a fine mood today too!”

She even went out of her way to call out to Asunaro! What the hell was she doing?!

“A-Ah… U-Um… Y-You seem to be in a fine mood too…”

Asunaro actually replied properly! She was confused, but she got the spirit, I guess.

“As you can see, Kisaragi-dono and I are merely friends and nothing more.”

Why did you bring that topic up at this point of the conversation?!

Yes, it would be helpful if you were to tell Asunaro that she had been misunderstanding our relationship, but not like this!

It was too late to fix her mistake. I could only roll with it.

“Prez is right! We’re only friends! Do you understand that, Asunaro?”

“I have the feeling that I shouldn’t even try to understand that.”

So cold!

“You two are acting differently than usual.”

“What are you talking about, Asunaro? We’ve always been like this.”

I knew this would never work, but I had to force it!

“Right, Prez?”

“Indeed.”

“…’S no way that’s the case.”

Her distrust toward us peaked! Her Tsugaru accent leaked out!

No, it wasn’t over yet! I could still fix this!

Even if we were acting like weirdos, we could still tell her that we were just friends and clear up her misunderstandings!

“Alright, Kisaragi-dono, let’s move forward! The enemy is on the first floor¹⁴“The enemy is at Honnoji!” Parody of that famous line by Akechi Mitsuhide, who turned his back on his lord, Oda Nobunaga and killed him at the Honnoji Temple.!”

Akino-dono, it wasn’t the occasion to act like Akechi Mitsuhide.

We were going to persuade those girls, they weren’t our enemies.

* * *

Standing in front of a first year’s class, Cosmos opened her note.

“Then, let us talk to the girl in the third rank if she’s interested in participating in the Kabuten.”

Cosmos was still using her samurai accent. Her eyes looked as sharp as a katana.

It really felt like she was about to slash down her enemy with her sword.

“Understood. Will you be the one who’s talking to her, Prez?”

“No, you are better suited to do the task than I am, Kisaragi-dono. Your age is closer to hers and my position as the student council president would only intimidate her.”

Regardless of that, it would be better for me to talk to her instead of you in your current state.

“Prez really trusts you, huh, Joro?”

Asunaro-me… How could you ignore the core of our conversation and pick up the subtleties instead?

Besides, this was a natural conversation between friends.

“Over there. She’s the schoolgirl we’re looking for.”

Calling her ‘schoolgirl’ really felt out of place, but whatever.

Let’s ignore this samurai and focus on the task at hand.

Unlike her, I was confident that I could get by with my acting.

“Understood! I’ll go talk to her right away!”

In any case, as expected of one of the chosen candidates for the Kabuten, this girl was pretty.

Her bob cut and the flower ribbon that decorated it suited her well.

From her appearance, she looked kind and gentle. In other words, this would be an easy job for me!

“Hello, do you have a minute?”

“Hii! W-What?”

I just called out to her, why was she trembling so much?

“U-Um… My name is Kisaragi, a second year. You can call me Joro.”

“I am… Kamata… A first year and the manager of the baseball club…”

When I introduced myself, the girl looked especially scared as she introduced herself.

Maybe she was just a really shy person?

Hmm… I had the feeling that she’d just refuse even if I were to ask her. But, if she was the manager of the baseball club, she should know Sun-chan. Since Sun-chan and I were best friends, this might work out!

“So, you’ve been selected to participate in the Kabuten. I got selected too, but that’s irrelevant. Do you mind if you—”

“N-No! I will never participate!”

“Huh?”

Why did she reject the idea so strongly?

“W-Why– Whoa!”

What the hell was she doing?! She suddenly grabbed my collar and pulled me closer to her!

She placed her mouth closer to my ear. At this rate—!

“Really, Joro?! I’ve never thought that you’d attack a first year that you’ve met for the first time!”

Yeah, this would happen! What the hell, why did she always paint me as the bad guy?!

“I’m going to assist you, Kisaragi-dono!”

STOP! Just stay in your place and think about bushido or something!

“I mean, the President and Himawari-senpai will participate in the Kabuten this year! I can’t hold a candle to both of them! I’ll look miserable right next to them!”

She said those words in a small voice. Honestly, I could understand her concern.

If that was the reason why she refused to participate, it made a lot of sense.

Himawari and Cosmos were like the prettiest girls at school. This girl was pretty too, but compared to them? Nah. I could understand if she felt out of place if she were to stand on the stage with those two girls.

“Heya! A-Are you okay?”

Cosmos came at the perfect timing as she grabbed my arm. Somehow, she managed to separate me from the girl.

“Prez got jealous when she saw Joro with another girl, huh?”

But, she made Asunaro’s misunderstanding escalate instead! Dammit! This was why I told her to not help me!

“B-Besides, I don’t want to dance with you, Kisaragi-senpai!”

As soon as we got separated, the girl dropped another bombshell. Honestly, I got a bad feeling about this…

“Kisaragi-senpai, you used to deceive two girls at the same time, right? I’d rather die than make physical contact with a nasty person like you!”

There you go, of course it would come up in this situation!

Come to think of it, people from other grades still hated me!

But, she literally just made physical contact with me ten seconds ago!

Seriously, I was human too! My feelings could get hurt too!

“T-That’s just a misunderstanding. I was—”

“Besides, if according to the legend, won’t I need to date you? Death is more preferable to that!”

Why the hell did she assume that I would ever want to go out with her?

“I-I mean, that’s just a legend. Besides, there are two other girls aside from you…”

“There’s no way someone like you would catch the attention of the President and Himawari-senpai! Have you taken a look at yourself in the mirror?! Stop dreaming and face reality!”

I had the right to dream too! Stop telling me to face the harsh reality!

Besides, you should compliment me first before shitting on me! Say that my nose was sexy or something!

Wait, that was how Pansy would shit on me. I couldn’t believe I got used to her toxicity.

Anyway, I couldn’t lose my temper here. I needed to calm down—

“There’s no way I’m going to dance with someone as disgusting as Kisaragi-senpai!”

Enough. Time to go back to that mode again.

“Prepare yourself, you little piece of shit…”

“H-Hii! W-Why do you suddenly emanate the aura of someone petty and insignificant? A-Also, your eyes look like dumpling made out of horse shit…”

I really should teach her a lesson. Sure, I got it that she was surprised because of my change, but couldn’t she choose her words carefully?

She called my eyes were made out of horse shit! Horse shit!

“C-Calm down a little, Joro-kun!”

Perhaps seeing me dropping my act, Cosmos also dropped her samurai accent as she held me from behind in a great hurry.

“Let me go, Prez! I’m going to teach this piece of shit a lesson…!”

“No! We don’t enact violence here, Joro-kun! I won’t let you!”

However, something else happened here. Cosmos held me from behind. In a hugging position.

So, her magnificent D-cups were pressing against my back tightly!

“Oh, this is getting exciting!”

“H-Hii…”

Asunaro sounded happy, meanwhile the first year was so scared that she fell on her butt.

But, neither of them mattered! I had to focus on one thing and one thing only!

“Then, don’t you dare let me go, Prez! Who knows what’ll happen to her if you were to let me go!”

“G-Got it!”

Her D-cups were spreading to my back! I could feel them!

“That’s not enough! Put more strength into it!”

“Really? I thought I already… No, I’ll do my best! Is this enough?”

It was heaven! The whole heavens were on my back!

“Uooh! That’s it! Keep it going! Oi, you little piece of shit, don’t you dare run away from me! If you run away, Prez will leave my side! Also, Prez, can you position your chest better? Like, make your upper body— Huh?”

Eh? Why did Cosmos suddenly move away from me and walk toward the girl?

“Can you stand?”

Cosmos gently reached out to her.

…Seeing this scene cooled my head. And I realized how much I fucked up.

“I-I’m fine.”

With Cosmos’ support, the girl stood up. Her legs were still shaking.

“Good, now go along. I need to have a word with this guy.”

“Y-Yes!”

She bowed to Cosmos before scurrying away, leaving me with the devil with an excited look in her face and the demon with an ice cold smile.

“Alright, Joro-kun. What were you doing just now?”

“I was trying to persuade the girl to participate in the Kabuten…”

“Yes, but you know I’m not talking about that.”

Scary. She was really scary! What should I do to get out of this situation?! Could I even get out of it?!

“Um… You see, even though there’s no scientific evidence of it, the softness of a girl’s chest could make people— mostly men, calm down. It’s that thing, you know? Every time men got into contact with a woman’s chest, they’d remember their mother. After all, they were nurtured under the embrace of their mother’s love and bosom—”

“I need your answer in less than ten words.”

“I love breasts.”

When I properly put my answers in less than ten words, I could hear the sound of something cracking from Cosmos. What happened, exactly?

“That meant you told me to hold you so that you can satisfy your own perverted desires?”

“U-Um… I-I wouldn’t go that far to describe it…”

I tried to vaguely agree with her words so that she wouldn’t get too angry with me, but it didn’t work.

The gaze that was as sharp as a katana was back and she confronted me with it.

“Joro-kun. Kneel down.”

“Hahaha, that’s a good on—”

“Kneel down.”

So scary! She was as scary as an ex-military Russian mafia! She’d probably kill me if I were to disobey her! That was why I obediently knelt down in the hallway.

“I understand your feelings. You’re a boy and it’s normal for you to be interested in such things. But there’s time and place for everything. Do you think we are playing around right now? We have to persuade people to join the Kabuten before the deadline. We don’t have much time and yet you—”

For the next ten minutes, I was under the mercy of Cosmos’ scolding. She forced me to reflect on various things.

“In any case, watch what you’re doing from now on. Got it?”

“…Yes. I’m sorry.”

Probably thinking that she had scolded me enough, Cosmos wrote something in her note, slammed it shut and sent me another glare as I stood up.

“I hope that you didn’t plan to do something similar during the dance. Like, if you were to do something like this to Himawari-san or—”

“No! I swear I don’t have any intention of doing something like that!”

I straightened my back as I denied her words strongly. Even I knew doing that would be going too far.

“Good. Alright, that girl is a bust, so let’s move on to the next one.”

“Sir, yes sir!”

After that we went to recruit the rest of the girls who were among the top ten most voted girls.

And to avoid further misunderstandings, I deleted all entries involving ‘boobs, dance, accident and touch’ from my browser history.

“Mhm. They were hugging each other then it was followed by a lover’s quarrel. This just proves that you’re truly the enemy of women, Joro!”

Honestly, these days, I’d appreciate having someone who was on my side. Who cares if I was being called the enemy of women.

* * *

The time was 6.30 pm. We were on our way home.

Only Cosmos and I were walking home together. Asunaro left to put on the data she had gathered for the Hyakka Festival.

At least she didn’t witness this romcom cliche of Cosmos and I walking home together.

“Haah… In the end, everyone turned us down.”

“…Right.”

Being rejected by everyone she tried to persuade must have been weighing down on her.

She trudged along beside me, looking depressed.

“I didn’t expect them to be so busy on the day the festival would be held… Maybe there are other reasons why they refused to participate and they just didn’t tell me?”

“That, I don’t know…”

I replied as such, but I knew that Cosmos was right.

Normally, everyone would kill to participate on the Kabuten, but this time was the complete opposite, none of them wanted to.

The reason was Himawari and Cosmos’ participation this year. It seemed like there was a rumor going around that if they were to participate in the Kabuten, they’d be compared to both of them and they’d end up looking miserable next to those two. This made not only the selected candidates, but even the other girls reluctant to participate

Then there was also their reluctance to be paired with me, but that wasn’t too big of a problem.

They were more afraid to be compared to the two beauties than anything.

But, it was still weird. The rumor about them participating was spread around too quickly. The members of the Kabuten were only announced to the public after everything had already been decided, in other words, they weren’t supposed to know that those two would participate. Guessing that those two would be among the candidates was one thing, but guessing that they would participate was another thing…

“There’s no need to reject the idea so much… Their answers surprised me…”

I understood the reason why they were acting like that, so this didn’t come as much of a shock for me, but it wasn’t the case for Cosmos. Everyone rejected her strongly without her knowing the reason why. Cosmos wasn’t someone who’d easily complain about things, but the experience shocked her so much that she let out a word of complaint.

“Well, it’s okay, don’t worry about it. If all the candidates reject the position, we can just look for someone else to fill in the position. Let’s do our best to look for someone who’s willing to participate tomorrow. I swear I won’t do anything weird again.”

“…Huh? You’ll be helping me tomorrow too?”

What the hell was she on about? Wasn’t it obvious?

If I were to let her go by herself, who knows what kind of rumor she’d give birth to. Besides, it was better for us to work together and tread carefully so we wouldn’t create any misunderstandings than letting her work alone, creating all kinds of misunderstandings by herself.

“Of course. What, you don’t want me to help you?”

“I-It isn’t like that! O-Of course I’d appreciate your help! Y-You can help me as much as you like!”

Cosmos denied my words with all her might as she shook her head strongly.

After that, she seemed to be in an extremely good mood, to my surprise. It was obvious from the way she started skipping her steps.

“…Time goes by quickly when we’re having fun. We’re at the station already, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“T-Then, thank you for today, Joro-kun! I really appreciate your help!”

With those words, she let out a maiden-like smile as she squeezed my hands.

Thank God Asunaro wasn’t here to witness her maiden-like act.

“See you tomorrow. Let’s do our best tomorrow too!”

“Yes! See you!”

She pulled her hands away and waved at me as she headed toward the station.

Now, time to go home and make a plan for tomorrow. Firstly, I should list out suitable girls as new candidates.