Chapter 4 – What I don’t Want Anyone to Know

“Kisaragi-kun, order for table 2!”

“Got it!”

Monday. A while after I started working at Tsubaki’s store.

Time’s running out, there are only four days until the deadline the bookstore owner gave me.

Well, it might sound like I’m in a pinch, but it really isn’t that bad.

As long as I can keep this pace until then, there’ll be no problem—I’ll reach my target in time.

My main concern right now isn’t whether I’d get enough money or not, but rather if I can do my job properly to get the money in the first place… but that isn’t really a problem either.

Because the me right now—the Kisaragi Amatsuyu right now, hath becometh this formidable!

“Excuse me, have you decided—”

“Uh, grapefruit sour, ginger highball, and draft beer—one each. Then, pickled cucumber, Caesar salad, one assorted kushikatsu of two scallops, three onions, one eringi, and two quail eggs. What about you two?”

“Ah, bacon for me, please.”

“Green onions for me.”

Hey, hey, I haven’t even finished asking, ‘Have you decided on your orders?’ yet! Could you at least wait until I ask, huh?

You’re supposed to order your drinks first, then think about what you want to eat.

Well, whatever. I took note of everything anyway.

“I’ve received your orders. Please wait a moment.”

See? I hath long abandoneth my pathetic self from back when I first started!

Not only that, look at my note! Everything’s shortened, like ‘grapesour’ and ‘ginger high’.

This is the skill that I learned after working here every day! It came forth from my desire to take the customers’ orders as quickly as I can, and manifested as the skill that I hereby called: ‘Short Write’! I even named that skill in English! How cool was that?!

Now, all I need to do is to update my blog every day. Who knows, maybe I’ll manifest the skill to read the future next¹I’m 95% sure this is a Mirai Nikki reference. The MC always update his diary on his phone, then one day, that same diary started to list future events instead.?

“New orders!”

“Mm! Got it!”

“Here! Grapesour, ginger high, and draft beer!”

But, I still can’t match this hard-seasoned warrior.

She finished making the drinks during the time between when I first received the orders and the time when I passed on the slip order to the other staff.

As expected of the hard-seasoned warrior. Her skill, ‘Tightly Listen²The raw is in English.’ was as brilliant as ever.

“Got it!”

Anyway, my worries when I first started the job turned out to be nothing at all.

The work was tough, but everything had been smooth-sailing for me.

“Sorry to keep you waiting. Here’s your drink.”

“Yee~s! Oh, just place them here, I’ll pass them around~”

“Thank you very much.”

I took up the customer’s offer and placed the drink on one side of the table, making a ‘don, don,’ noise as I did. Alright, what’s next?

“Oi, Brat! Hurry up and pick up my order!”

Grk… it’s Old Man Mayama. Ugh, I don’t wanna go there…

“Yes! Sorry to keep you waiting. Are you ready to order?”

“I told you I did just now! You’re as stupid as ever!”

Right? So you know that I’m stupid.

That’s why, ask some other employees instead of me.

“What’s with that face? You got something to say to me?”

I got a lot of things to say, actually.

“Of course not, Dear Customer.”

Of course, I didn’t say what was in my mind out loud and said that instead.

Anyway, this old man had been coming to the shop almost every day since we opened. That wasn’t a problem in itself, but for some reason, he kept singling me out to pick on me—it was a pain.

From telling me that my attitude was bad, my tone was rude, my eyes looked like that of a dead fish’s—he kept nitpicking something about me to the point I just stopped keeping track of them midway through.

You won’t remember how many breads you’ve eaten, will you³Jojo part 1’s reference. The antagonist, Dio, was asked, ‘How many people have you killed?’ and he answered with ‘Do you remember how many pieces of bread you’ve eaten in your life?’ That line kinda became a meme.? That’s how it feels to me.

“Jeez, looking at your face makes the food taste bad.”

Old men like him are the most troublesome to face. Whether it’s early, mid, or late game⁴The raw was for the game of Go, but I don’t understand Go at all, so I’m sorry I can’t give more context., they don’t have any weaknesses I can exploit, but I won’t give up!

Well, I’m just a pawn in this wide board of part-time job, but it doesn’t mean I’ll just stay still! I’ll show him the true worth of a pawn here!

“Write it down. Dashimaki tamago…”

After writing down the old man’s lengthy orders, I headed to the kitchen.

By the time I arrived, the food the group of university students had ordered and the old man’s draft beer were ready.

*   *   *

After that, the old man ate his food, drank his fill, and pestered me to serve him to pay.

“The total will be 4,110 yen.”

“Huh? Did I eat that much? You sure you didn’t—no, never mind. Here’s the money.”

Though that price’s a sweet deal, the smell of his age, mixed with the scent of alcohol and oil, that wafted from his mouth was sour. Really sour, in fact.

“Here’s your change, a total of 90 yen. And here’s your receipt.”

“Mm.”

“Thank you very much for your patronage! Please visit us again in the future!”

Though I said that, in my mind I’m practically screaming, ‘Don’t ever come back again’.

“Huh, Mayama-san’s already going home for the day?”

When I breathed a sigh of relief over the fact that a troublesome customer had finally left the place, the part-timers’ leader, Kanemoto-san, appeared.

He’s a reliable, 32-years old man who was transferred from the main branch here. From what I heard, he quit his real job and had been going strong with his part-time jobs ever since. Also, he’s trying to be a voice actor.

Sun-chan’s impression of him was that he was formidable. He said that it was clear from his surname⁵He shared the same name as Kanemoto Tomoaki, another legendary baseball player in Japan, a hall-of-famer, and a world record holder..

Also, that he was probably either a Carp’s or a Tigers⁶Hiroshima Carp and Hanshin Tigers were the team Kanemoto Tomoaki played for when he was still active.’ fan.

“Alright, I’ll serve the drinks and the food. You should go and clean up the table, Kisaragi-kun.”

“Understood!”

I followed Kanemoto-san’s orders and went to clean the table. At that moment, a new customer arrived.

Hearing the chime sound that came with their arrival, I rushed to the front and greeted them with my already-polished sales smile,

“Welcome! Table for how—ah…”

“Ugh. I came here because Tsubaki’s working here, but why is the bacteria flying around in this place too?”

My, if it isn’t the Charisma Bunch who treated me like I was nothing but a bacteria? 

If you hate my presence here, why don’t you just turn back and leave, hm?

Besides, our store had a no-heavy-makeup policy—

“So you work here, huh…? Why don’t you show me around already? You work here, don’t you? Why are you so slow?!”

Our Girl A-san over here always seems pissed off. Doesn’t she realize it’s bad for her health?

Too much of this will stress her out, then it’ll worsen her skin to the point that both her skin care routine and her heavy makeup won’t be able to cover them up anymore.

It’ll be better for her if she just follows her cronies’ example and glares at me like I’m a dirt instead of running her mouth like this.

“Over here, please. Please wait a moment.”

“Hearing you using polite speech like this feels weird. It sounds so off that it’s downright creepy. You get me, right?”

It’s your rambling that’s weird Girl A-san—it sounds so off that it’s downright creepy.

Also, can the peanut gallery stop nodding your heads to every word she says? Can you at least say something in response?

Anyway, I showed them to their seats. In my mind though, I’m thinking of letting Kanemoto-san serve them water and take their orders in my stead. I really don’t want to be around them, man.

“Excuse me, Kanemoto-san? Can you take the orders from the customers at table 5, please?”

“Hm? Customers at table 5? Why—ah, I see. That school uniform… they go to the same school as you, huh, Kisaragi-kun?”

A broad smile appeared on his face after he took a glance at them.

As expected of a 32-years-old part-time worker, he could tell what was in my mind just from that.

“Yes. It’s a little complicated with them, you see…”

“Don’t worry, I understand, you don’t need to spell it out. Your girlfriend is among them, is that it? As a fellow man, I understand. You don’t want her to see you struggle at work and just want her to show your cool side, right? I get it, just leave it to me.”

That’s a crazy ass misunderstanding right there, but at least this means he’ll take my place.

Also, this might be just me overanalyzing his words, but it sounded like he was implying that I looked uncool when working. Well, whatever. At this point, I’d already developed a resistance to unconscious malice.

“Alright, could you deliver this to table 9 in my stead as an exchange?”

“Yes.”

Like that, we switched our work and I quickly took the food to the customers at table 9.

As I did, I glanced at Kanemoto-san, who was heading to the Charisma Bunch’s table.

“You know? I heard the boys in my class talking about a novel about killing goblins or whatever is all the rage these days⁷Goblin Slayer reference..”

“Huh, really? Wait, what are goblins again?”

“They are those, you know, those! The thing that looks like the man with a hat and small mustache! I think they called him the King of Comedy?”

That’s Chaplin⁸As in Charlie Chaplin., not goblin. The only thing that they have in common is the ‘lin’ in their names.

Also, you guys, it doesn’t have to be Dengeki, but at least talk about a Kadokawa series⁹They are talking about Goblin Slayer, which is a GA-bunko series. The owner of GA-bunko isn’t Kadokawa, but Softbank..

Seriously, these guys… anyway, my favorite character from that novel is the Sword Maiden. Her boobs are something else, you know?

“Sorry to keep you waiting! Have you decided what to order?”

“What the hell~? Are you telling me that a book about beating a bunch of men with a small hat and small mustache is popular right now? Hahaha! That’s so funny!”

Kanemoto-san, you got ignored by them, you know? Hang in there.

“Sorry to keep you waiting! Have you decided what to order?”

“So loud. What’s up with you? Do you really need to yell? Pfft.”

“Please excuse me. May I take your order now, please?”

Amazing, he didn’t drop his smile even after that. If that was me, I’d have lost my shit right there and then.

“Okay, okaaay~ We’ll order now~”

Huh, so Girl A-san’s the one who’s ordering? Does that mean she’s still the leader of the bunch? Not bad…

“Two assorted kushikatsu, please. As for the drink… I’ll take oolong tea. What about you guys?”

Once the leader of the pack finished ordering, the other coyotes followed suit without a moment delay.

They all ordered tomato juice. Maybe because they were thirsty for blood.

“Alright, please wait while we’re preparing your orders—oh whoops, I forgot something. Um… is it you?”

Huh? For some reason, Kanemoto-san dropped his polite speech and stared at Girl A-san with a smile.

Did he fall in love with her? Well, while Girl A-san looked too much with her heavy makeup on, without it, she actually looked pretty cute, so I could understand.

“Do you need something from me?”

Even when facing Kanemoto-san—who was way older than her—Girl A-san remained assertive as ever. Her savage nature was still in full swing.

Though, she blushed a little, maybe because she didn’t expect Kanemoto-san to stare at her for so long.

…Anyway, what’s he going to say next?

“Your boyfriend, Kisaragi-kun, is doing a great job, you know?”

“H-HAAAAAH?!”

KANEMOTOOOOOOO—! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING RIGHT NOW?!?!?!

“N-no, that’s not—! I’m not Joro’s girlfriend!”

“Hahaha, no need to get shy! I heard it directly from him just now!”

I never told you anything like that! How did you come up with that in the first place anyway?!

“That guy—! I can’t believe him—!”

What a coincidence, Girl A-san. While I’m not sure who ‘that guy’ in your mind was, I’m sure that we’re thinking about the exact same thing.

Hit him, Girl A-san. I give you my permission. Hit Kanemoto-san right now.

If you’re worried over the fact that the violent heroine trope has fallen out of favor these days, you don’t need to.

After all, you don’t fit to be a heroine in the first place. You can do whatever the hell you want.

“Sorry, I… have to go to the bathroom… I feel sick…”

Wait, just because I told you you can do whatever the hell you want, doesn’t mean you can just say that! That’s just too far!

“Though she wore too much makeup, I can tell that she’s a sweet girl. Way to go, Kisaragi-kun!”

Kanemoto-san returned with an awfully happy smile.

Meanwhile, I wanted nothing but to punch those white teeth out of his mouth.

“Huh? Your girlfriend’s gone, Kisaragi-kun. What happened?”

She’s over in the bathroom. Vomiting. That’s what happened.

“…I’ll go clean up and replenish the water…”

“That’s so thoughtful of you, Kisaragi-kun! Are you fired up because your girlfriend is here?”

Shut up, you aspiring voice actor trapped in part-time hell. Don’t talk to me in that exaggerated tone.

After that, the Charisma Bunch stayed for a long time, chatting with Tsubaki, who came out after rush hour was done since she had some free time. When I finished cleaning, they gave me warm encouragement like, ‘A bacteria cleaning up other bacterias? What is this, cannibalism?’ The difference in treatment was so extreme that it brought tears to my eyes.

Also, it wasn’t like I was eating the garbage, I was cleaning them. Cannibalism involved eating, which wasn’t something that I did. Still, I’m just a mob character, I can’t stand up to a pack of coyotes. So, I just ignored them.

Phew… today’s shift was twice as stressful as usual for some reason.

*   *   *

“I’m off.”

“Take care~ ☆”

Morning. I went off to leave for school, accompanied by my apron-wearing mother’s high-pitched voice.

“Haa… I don’t wanna go to school…”

That was the first thing that I said after closing the door behind my back.

The moment I enter the class, I’ll be hounded by the Charisma Bunch, I just know it… ugh…

No, I need to stop thinking about them. There’s a more urgent matter I have to think about.

Yep, time to look at my progress to get Pansy’s book!

Uh, if I remember correctly, yesterday…

“Good morning, Joro!”

“OOOWWW THAT HURTS!”

An attack from behind shattered my fragile heart.

As far as I knew, there was only one person who’d do such a terrible, heinous thing—!

“HI! MA! WA! RI! I told you to stop slapping my back this early in the morning!”

“I know! You’ve been telling me that every day, so please keep telling me that~!”

Does that mean I’ll have to live with her slapping my back every single morning until the day I die?

Please tell me she’ll at least stop doing it by the time we graduate…

“What the hell are you doing here anyway? Don’t you have practice today?”

“Ah! Well, um… the soccer club is using the court today, so there’s no practice!”

She glanced to the right for a second, then to the left for two as she said that. Which means, she lied.

We’re childhood friends. I can easily tell what her tell is when she’s lying.

“Why would the soccer club use the tennis court for practice?”

Since you told me such a tricky¹⁰The raw is in English. lie, I’ll give you the nickname, ‘Ibrahimobitch¹¹I hope I don’t need to tell you who Zlatan Ibrahimovic is. Also, vic and bitch sounds the similar in Japanese, hence the pun.’. It was related to soccer and all.

“Y-you must feel lonely without me walking with you to school lately, right? Sorry, I’ve been too busy with my club these days! But don’t worry, I’m here now!”

I see. What a brilliant admission to guilt.

In short, she’d been too busy with her club lately, and she felt lonely since she couldn’t walk to school with me.

Honestly, I’m flattered. Still, she isn’t supposed to do this, tsk…

“…You don’t need to worry about me. Just focus on your club.”

“I knoooww!”

She didn’t get that I caught her lie, so I told her what I wanted to say in a rather roundabout way, but it seemed like she didn’t get that too.

Even when I threw her a cold look, she was still smiling like a fool in front of me.

“I’m in my peak condition for Sunday’s match! Ready for anything!”

She just ignored me and grabbed both my arms in a good mood.

Then, she annoyingly shook me back and forth from left to right.

“I lost last year, but this year, I’m gonna win! Just watch!”

Urk… I’m gonna puke…

“I got it already, so stop shaking me.”

“Ye~s! Ehehe…”

She stopped moving her arms, then pressed her body against mine!

Ibrahimobitch’s signature technique and physique was on full display!

Such skills, such class! It didn’t take long for me to be captivated by—no, not really, actually.

“Himawari, let go. If you stick too close to me like this, everyone who sees us will misunderstand our relationship.”

Honestly, I’d love to enjoy this sensation of her clinging close to me like this, but I had chosen Sun-chan as the winner of the showdown.

Conversely, I had also chosen to keep my distance from the others. So, this sort of thing had to wait.

“No! Being chummy with you like this is part of my morning routine!”

…I thought I was being pretty clear with my last words, but it seemed like it didn’t get through to her at all.

As if determined not to let me go, she put 40% of her strength in her hug as she pouted at me.

With her like this, even if I were to forcefully pry her away from me, she’ll just cling back to me without any shame whatsoever.

“…Fine. But stop doing this when you get a boyfriend. I don’t want him to attack me, you know?”

“Ahahaha! Don’t worry about that! I don’t have a crush on anyone right now anyway!”

That’s good and all, but when she said it like that, it hurts me a little. Somehow¹²She’s basically saying that she doesn’t have a crush in him 🙂.

“By the way, Joro! How is it going with your part-time job?”

“Nothing much. I’ve gotten used to the work lately, and I’d like to believe that I can now bring a little value to the shop.”

I said a little, but in my head, I thought that I brought a ‘significant value’ to the shop.

This is just my precaution as a mob. Cockiness spells a mob’s downfall, and I’m trying to avoid that.

“Amazing~! Then, do you have a lot of money now?”

“Yeah, pretty much. In exchange, I always get so tired when I get back home, though. Honestly, I’m a little worried about my studies.”

“Mhm! If you don’t study hard, you’ll be in trouble, won’t you, Joro?”

Oh, really? Will I now? Not you who always came to me to help you study for the finals?

Seriously, you’re the one who should put more work into your studies. I’ll still help you out, but still, put in more work once in a while…

“Huh? What’s this tattered book?”

Grk–! She noticed it already?! Shit, I should’ve put it away earlier…

“Eh, it’s just a book I read once in a while to kill time.”

I said calmly, rubbing my right thumb and index finger together.

If I were to panic at this moment, she’d get suspicious, and I didn’t want that.

“Huh?”

Did that fail to convince her?

“Still, why the old, tattered book? Can’t you ask Pansy to let you borrow an interesting one?”

This was exactly the book that she let me borrow!

“Like, some parts of this book are unreadable… see?”

That wasn’t the book’s fault! I was the one who made it unreadable!

“Y-you don’t need to worry about that! I-I’m gonna buy a new one so I can read the unreadable parts later anyway!”

“Oh! Then, why don’t you ask Pansy instead? Who knows, she might have a more readable—”

“Shut up! I said I’m gonna buy a new one myself, so just shut up!”

“Why are you yelling at me?!”

I tried to brush it off, but I panicked instead, and now she got upset.

Not good! This bitch can hold a grudge, so I need to come up with something to cheer her up again!

“Ah, right! Is there anywhere you’d like to go during the summer vacation, Himawari?”

“Summer vacation? Why do you ask? You’re gonna go to Koshien, no?”

She bit that, but I still haven’t gotten out of my predicament yet. If this were to fail to bring her mood back up, I’d still be screwed.

“Y-yeah, but you know, I have free days outside of that. After setting aside the amount I need to go to Koshien, I should still have plenty of money. Why don’t we go somewhere?”

“Huh?”

Why was she tilting her head like that? It made me want to do it too…

“…What about my birthday present, Joro?”

“Ah…”

Oh fuck, I completely forgot about that! Fuck, fuck, fuck!

I’ll have to spend a bunch of money soon, will I have enough to buy her a birthday present?! Fuck, what should I do?!

“Don’t tell me you forgot! Joro!”

“N-no, I didn’t! I’d just been so busy that it slipped my mind! You wanted that wristband, didn’t you?”

Naturally, she didn’t take my excuse well. She was still clearly in a bad mood.

“How could you, how could you?! And I was really looking forward to it too!”

“I-I get it already! The game’s this Sunday, so I’ll give it to you on Saturday! You’ll be fine with that, right?”

Honestly, I’m not even sure if I have enough money to buy it. What should I do?

My dad always told me, ‘No matter what, don’t ever borrow any money from anyone other than your parents. Especially not your friends,’ so borrowing money is not an option.

Ugh… should I talk with my parents about this? I doubt they’ll help me, but it’ll be worth a shot.

“Sure! I’ll forgive you if you do that!”

Huh? This would normally be the part where she’d throw another round of tantrum, but for some reason, she calmed down just like that. Well, whatever. It was good that she behaved.

“Alright, let’s run to school together!”

“Huh? I’m still tired from my shift last night. Can’t you do that by yourself?”

“Nope! Take this as a punishment for forgetting my birthday present!”

C’mon! Even if I did remember, you’d still make me run!

Still, no matter how hard I try to resist, the moment she grabs my hand, my fate will be sealed.

“…Fine. But, don’t run too fast, okay? We don’t want you to fall and get hurt.”

“Don’t worry! Even if we fall, I’ll make sure to save you!”

What’s the point of that? Save yourself first!

“Alright! Let’s go! Let’s dash!”

You know, now that I think about it, if I go to class with her, the Charisma Bunch won’t attack me, so I guess this isn’t all bad.

Although I’ll have to consume an incredible amount of stamina in return…

*   *   *

Lunchtime. Since Himawari and Sun-chan had to attend their clubs’ meeting, there’re only four of us in the library today.

With everything going on to consider, it was hard for me to not reach the sweets, but I endured.

As I was suffering like that, Cosmos turned to face me, looking unusually restless.

“Joro-kun! There’s talk in the student council about us visiting Tsubaki-san’s shop earlier today!”

Unlike with the Charisma Bunch, there’ll be no problem if those guys were to come. Still, the tension in her voice as she said that was… incredible, to say the least.

I won’t point that out loud, though.

“Um… why so suddenly…?”

“To tell you the truth, Yamada-dono has shown extreme interest in Kisaragi-dono’s work. So we, the student council, decided that today, we will be united under Kisaragi-dono’s banner!”

By the way, Yamada’s the student council’s treasurer.

He isn’t particularly important, so I’ll keep his introduction brief.

Yamada-san is a mob. That’s all.

“Got it. I’ll wait for you guys’ visit.”

It’s obvious why they suddenly want to visit, but I’ll keep my mouth shut.

“Your will shall be done.”

Anyway, why don’t she book a table for them while she’s at it?

I’d do it for them, but I don’t have the authority to. The manager—Tsubaki, however.

Given our relationship, she’ll most likely let them book a table, but the student council members numbered seven. Reserving that many at once will definitely affect the shop’s sales, won’t it?

“In that case, I’ll reserve a table for you, Cosmos-san. Around what time will you be visiting?”

Oh my, how kind of her. I didn’t even need to say anything, our Tsubaki had already taken the initiative herself.

“Really? Thank you very much! Hm… our meeting usually ends at around 6. Taking into account the time we’ll need to walk there, we’ll probably arrive by 7.”

“Got it. Joro’s become so much better than the last time you came here, so you can look forward to that, Cosmos-san.”

Oh my, how mean of her. I didn’t even need to say anything, our Tsubaki had already put this much pressure on me.

“Our part-timers’ leader even gave him a thumbs-up. He said, ‘I was worried about him at first, but now I can rest assured with him around.’”

The same part-timers’ leader who made sure that my school life would be hellish?

“That’s amazing, Joro-kun! I’m sure Yamada would be delighted to see you!”

Really? Yamada-san’s happiness depended on my performance? …What a huge responsibility I had been bestowed upon.

“Right! Pansy, how about you join—”

“I’ll pass, I have plans for today. Thank you for inviting me.”

Pansy replied in a calm tone—the complete opposite tone to Cosmos’ highly excited one.

Her cold voice permeated the library, freezing the smile on Cosmos’ face.

“I-is that so…? I-I understand…”

Cosmos isn’t the reason why Pansy was so curt, though.

I am.

Recently—or rather, ever since I started working part-time, Pansy hasn’t been in a good mood.

She probably doesn’t like it that I stopped coming to the library after school because I’m busying myself with my job.

It’s clear how upset she is from how much less talkative she is than usual, and from how she’ll only respond in a curt tone whenever someone is talking to her.

Even Himawari and Sun-chan couldn’t penetrate her curt wall with their high-spirits.

Anyway, the atmosphere had turned tense now. What should I do to change this?

“Don’t be so sulky, Pansy. Joro’s been trying his best at work, I think it’s something to be happy about.”

“I know, and I think so too. But… it’s a little complicated.”

Even the unyielding Tsubaki got the same cold words from her.

From what it seems, she isn’t 100% opposed to me working part-time. So then, what?

“D-didn’t Joro say that he’s working to get some money, and will ease up on his shift after he gets that amount? He’s close to his goal, it should be soon!”

Tsubaki tried to crack her again—though this time, she was a little unnerved. Pansy reacted this time. More specifically, to the words ‘ease up on his shift’.

“Is that so? How long will it take?”

“By the end of the week. Don’t worry, he’ll come home to you soon.”

That’s weird. Since when has it been decided that Pansy’s my ‘home’?

Like Tsubaki said, I was planning to ease up on my shift once I got enough money, but… should I not?

“…Fine.”

In any case, that seemed to calm Pansy down a little, but it was clear that she wasn’t satisfied.

After that, she didn’t say anything else, just fiddling with her braids until it was time to leave.

*   *   *

After school. I packed up my stuff and dashed out of the school, avoiding the Charisma Bunch’s fierce gazes.

I got to avoid being lynched by them because I stuck to Himawari’s and Sun-chan’s side all day long. Still, that didn’t solve the problem with the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing. That was why I still felt uncomfortable staying inside the classroom for too long.

Well, solving that can wait. For now, I’ll have to focus on my part-time job.

Now, I had turned into a cog in the kushikatsu shop’s wheel.

Serving customers, taking orders, cleaning the tables—by now, I can do all that on autopilot.

But, even a cog in the wheel needs some time to relax, and now is that time.

It was before the rush hour, there weren’t that many customers yet. All the employees—both the ones in the kitchen and front—were all taking turns taking a break.

I wasn’t resting in the back, but at the front. To be more specific, in a conspicuous place where the customers couldn’t see me so that I’d be ready to spring into action whenever I needed to.

“You seem more energetic than usual, Kisaragi-kun! Did your girlfriend cheer you up after what happened yesterday? Man, it’s nice to be young!”

A deep, heartfelt voice from a young, aspiring voice actor echoed from beside me.

Somehow, the conversation touched on this topic—a topic that I didn’t want to touch even with a 22 m pole. Now, what should I say?

“You’re pretty young yourself though, Kanemoto-san.”

“I’m already 32, you know? By most people’s standards, I’m not so young anymore. Compared to you, Kisaragi-kun, I’m practically an old man. I mean, when I was at your age, you were still in your dad’s nutsack.”

Could you not say ‘in your mom’s womb’ instead? It’d sound way less disgusting, you know?

“Still, I miss the time when I was your age~! If I could go back in time, I would! It’s been a while since I graduated from high-school, but even then I still have so many regrets! Like, if only I do things differently here and there, maybe I won’t be stuck here, you know?”

It wouldn’t be that simple, Kanemoto-san. High-schoolers these days had to deal not only with the entrance exam, but the proficiency test after. Those alone would force you to take extra classes in all the relevant subjects. Then there’d also be all your habits as an adult that you’d have to take a note of. Like, if you were to bring your cigarette to school by accident, it’d be a disaster and a half, wouldn’t it¹³Not sure, but this is maybe a ReLife reference? The MC  entered a program to become a high school student again and rehabilitate himself. On his first day of school, he brought his cigarette and lighter by accident.?

“Kanemoto-san, say that you get to go back in time and become a high-schooler again. Would you still try to be a voice actor?”

“Hmm… I don’t know, maybe I’ll come up with something else? I’ll probably agonize about other things that I can do since I’ll be young again, and end up regretting everything again afterwards! Haha!”

Dude, didn’t you quit your stable job to try and become a voice actor? Now you said you’d want to try something else? Seriously, get a grip!

“Then, why don’t you just try to become a voice actor from the start? That way you won’t have regrets, no?”

“Hahaha! That’s not it, Kisaragi-kun! If I try to become a voice actor from the start, I’ll definitely regret it!”

What the hell is that logic? Seriously, I don’t get it!

“But, won’t you be walking toward your dream? Why would you regret it?”

“See, Kisaragi-kun, it isn’t that simple! You only have three years in high school, there’s only so much you can do within that time. If you do this, then you can’t do that—in the end, you’ll have to sacrifice something to do other things. For example, if you put most of your effort into your club activities, you won’t get any time to relax in the going-home club.”

At the words ‘club activities’, Himawari’s and Sun-chan’s faces came to my mind.

Yeah, I doubt those two would be interested in relaxing with the rest of the going-home club members…

“But those who put in their most effort into their club activities are usually those who enjoy it the most. There’s no way they’ll regret that…”

“Again, that’s not it, Kisaragi-kun. Regret is something that always comes in later. They might not notice it now since their club activities took most of their time, but later when they graduate, they’ll think something along the lines of, ‘Ah, I should’ve spent more time hanging out with my friends,’ or ‘I should’ve studied more.’ No matter what they did, how much fun they had when they did it, most people will end up regretting the things that they didn’t do. Hahaha!”

Walking one path that you chose, regretting the ones that you didn’t choose. I see.

“Speaking of… From what I can tell, you’re in the going-home club right, Kisaragi-kun?”

“Yes.”

To be more exact, I’m a member of the going-home club, and an honorary member of the library committee.

“As a member of the going-home club, do you find those guys who dedicate their lives to their club, or those who’ve already been working toward their dreams enviable?”

Ugg… I can’t say I don’t, but hearing those words coming from his mouth feels a little…

“A little… yeah…”

“You don’t need to be envious of them, you know? Being in the going-home club is great as well! That means you have enough time to do whatever you want! You aren’t bound to anything, so nothing will stop you!”

Sure, but I have nothing I want to do, that’s the problem.

“Don’t make that frown! You have a cute girlfriend, and you have so much free time! That’s the kind of life that every youngsters find enviable, you know?”

Not my girlfriend. More like my bully.

“That girl isn’t my girlfriend. I don’t actually have one.”

“Huh, really? Whoops! That was my bad! Sorry!”

Oh! That’s the first time in a while someone believed something that I’ve said right away. Damn, that felt good.

“So, she’s your crush then?”

“No, she isn’t!”

Seriously, not everything was related to romance, you know?!

“Ah, really? But you do have a crush, don’t you? Back when I was your age, there was this popular song that basically meant, the more important someone is to you, the closer they are to you¹⁴Chiisana Koi no Uta by Mongol800. Do you have someone like that, Kisaragi-kun?”

Someone important, huh? Well, guess there was someone. I wouldn’t say who it was out loud, though.

“Well, I already know one person who does though!”

“Huh? Who?”

This would be the part where he’d say something like, ‘Me! I am that person!’ and where I’d be feeling deflated with disappointment.

“Tsubaki-chan, of course! Do you know that she canceled hiring someone just so that she could hire you instead? That should be enough proof that she cares for you, no?”

“Huh? She did that?”

But, Tsubaki said that the shop was extremely short-staffed, and they needed as many hands as they could get…

“Ah, you didn’t hear this from me, okay? Also, make sure to not tell anyone about this.”

“Okay…”

“You see, when we first opened up this branch, there were quite a lot of people who applied to work here. I mean, the hourly wage here is good and all, so it’s only natural. Anyway, one day, Tsubaki-chan went and said, ‘I have a friend who desperately needs money,’ and reserved a spot for you. She even went as far as rejecting someone she was about to hire.”

Seriously…? 

It made me happy that she went that far for me, but at the same time, I felt guilty for the person that she rejected.

That person could be more talented than me, you know? They could probably bring more value to the shop compared to me…

“Anyway, that shows how much charm you have as a person! So, be more confident in yourself, okay?”

It wasn’t charm per se, I was just lucky.

I just happened to buy some kushikatsu at her shop, and the random words that I spouted out on the spot somehow worked.

It was just luck, as it’d always been.

Sun-chan, Himawari, Cosmos, Tsubaki, Pansy…

I was the odd one out, everyone else lived in a whole different world than me.

A mob who was lucky to blend with them, who could do nothing but boast about how I was able to be a part of their friend group—that was all that I ever was.

Everyone was always so kind to me, but I never paid them back. Instead, I sat back, relishing in the feeling like the horrible guy I was. I wasn’t complaining, it was good for me, after all, but… why? For what reason did they treat me so kindly…?

“Oh, a customer! Alright, time to get back to work! Move, move!”

“…Okay.”

Haa… this just made me feel depressed. Get a grip, me. Pull yourself together.

‘It isn’t the time to get distracted by such thoughts. I have to focus.’

“Welcome—ah, Prez?”

“Heya, Joro-kun!”

Urg… just as I was about to shout my greeting as usual, a troublesome customer showed up…

“…A reservation under the name Akino-sama, right? Please come this way.”

“Y-yes! Everyone, let’s go! Our table is over there!”

Seeing her innocent smile, I felt the urge to punch myself. How could someone with such a smile be a nuisance, huh? Seriously, I’m the worst.

“Alright, can I have the usual, please?”

Mm. She acted like she was a regular here. Dunno what the finger waving was about, though.

“I told you we aren’t that kind of establishment.”

“A-ah! U-um… t-then, if you’re feeling thirsty y-you can order some cold water! I-I’ll have it ready for you anytime you want! Even if it’s in the middle of the night!”

Taking the order is my role, not yours.

Also, the shop won’t be open that late. Not that I’d stay around even if it does either.

Ugh, whatever. I’ll just forget about this and take them to their table quickly.

“Noted. Please follow me this way.”

“Yay! Now, I too—ah, right, right! Yamada, what do you think? Joro-kun’s hard at work here too, isn’t he?”

“… nods ”

Seemingly satisfied after seeing me doing my job, Yamada nodded.

The dude’s as quiet as ever.

“Hey, Brat! Give me more dashimaki tamago and beer! Make it hurry!”

Urk, Old Man Moyama’s here?

Also, he’s drunk already? How much did he drink?

“Understood! Please wait for a moment!”

Kanemoto-san and the other employees were busy with their own workload, so it was up to me to deal with him.

After seating Cosmos and the other student council members, I headed over to the old man.

*   *   *

After Cosmos and the other student council members came, the shop got busy really quick.

No, it wasn’t because people were flocking to see and admire her beauty, but because 7 pm to 9 pm was the rush hour for the shop.

“Phew. There are so many people now.”

“Well, it’s already past 7.”

Our customer base was diverse—from families to office workers, we got them all. But this time was still the busiest for us.

That was why everyone was out in the front, no one was taking a break.

“Welcome—huh?”

“Hey hey, Joro! I heard you’re working here, so I want to cover it in our school’s article!”

“O-okay…”

With her swinging ponytail and a smile on her face, this was Asunaro from the Newspaper Club.

She probably came straight here after she was done with her club. Coming all the way here at this hour alone, she really was something else. Unfortunately for her, though…

“A table for one? I’m sorry, but we’re all full. May I ask you to wait for a while?”

“Is that so? That’s too bad…”

The moment she heard that, her bright expression turned cloudy as she cast her face down. Her ponytail also stopped swinging and plopped down like a dejected dog’s tail.

“…Ah, there’s an empty one over there!”

“Huh?”

But then her expression brightened up again as she pointed toward a certain direction. I moved my gaze in that direction, and sure enough, there was an open seat for one person. But… was she really going to go there?

I mean… that place was where Cosmos and the rest of the student council members—ah, she’s already gone.

“Hello, Prez~ Hello, everyone~!”

“Hm? …A-Asunaro-san?!”

It went without saying that Cosmos was surprised by her coming up to her so suddenly like that.

Then again, who could blame her? They were butting heads with each other not too long ago.

I was involved in that mess, but even I still felt awkward around her, let alone Cosmos.

“Um… may I ask why are you here?”

“Hehehe, there are no empty seats left other than this one! So I figured I’d sit here!”

That table was a table for eight, and there were seven members of the student council, including Cosmos, sitting there, leaving one seat free.

This was why Asunaro was trying to sit there.

If that was all, it’d be fine, but…

“W-well, if you really want to, sure… a-anyway, everyone, this is Hanetachi Hina, a member of the Newspaper Club… Asunaro-san.”

“Hello, nice to meet you all~! I’m Hanetachi Hina! Some of you probably know me already, but there might be some of you who don’t, so I’m introducing myself again! Nice to meet you~!”

After receiving permission from Cosmos, she seated herself in the empty seat.

Then, with a smile on her face, she introduced herself to the student council members,

“A-alright… please wait for a bit…”

I should leave her to Kanemoto-san to deal with and—no, wait, that would be a bad idea.

This girl is too unpredictable. Moreover, she screwed me over once already.

Guess I’ll have to do it myself, huh? Don’t want another incident like what happened with the Charisma Bunch to happen.

“Here’s your glass of water. Have you decided on your order?”

I poured water into Asunaro’s glass, trying to keep my smile from leaving my face to the best I could.

Meanwhile, she was just smiling while reading the menu. She looked like she was having fun.

“Alright! I’ll have apple juice, and whatever it is that you recommend, Waiter-san!”

There! The most disastrous order possible that a customer could give me!

I’ve only been working for a week! There’s no way I’ll know which one I should recommend to her!

“My… recommendation, is it? Um… how many do you want…?”

“Five!”

“Understood. Then, how do pork, beef, scallop, eggplant, and quail eggs sound to you?”

I can’t even say that those are my recommendations. They’re Sun-chan’s and Tsubaki’s favorite, as well as the ones that the other customers ordered the most.

“Sounds good to me!”

Phew… I was worried that she’d add something strange to her order, glad that wasn’t the case.

Anyway, I should just take her order quickly and go to the kitchen—

“Oi, Brat! More beer!”

Already?! How the hell did you down another glass already?!

“New orders! I’ll leave it here!”

“Got it! The apple juice is ready! Take it with you!”

After handing the order slip over, I grabbed the apple juice and brought it to the table where Cosmos and the others were.

While I was at it, I took the opportunity to see what they were up to. For some reason, Asunaro was holding a red pen and a notebook in her hand, taking notes while talking to the student council members. 

“Sorry to keep you waiting. Here’s your apple juice.”

“Thank you very much… ah, by the way, Joro, I just heard about something interesting!”

By interesting you meant interesting to me too, right? As in, it wasn’t something that would kill me or something?

“Haa… what is this about?”

“W-wait, Asunaro-san!”

Hm. Cosmos looked flustered, while Asunaro had a sly grin on her face. Somehow, I had a bad feeling…

“According to Yamada-san over here, apparently Prez has been asking him, ‘I wonder how Joro is doing? Is he going to be okay at work?’ every single day!”

That tracks. Well, I can already tell when I first heard that she’d be coming here back at lunch.

“N-nay! Incorrect! S-she incorrectly understood what I meant! Y-Yamada-dono cared for your welling, Kisaragi-dono! My words weren’t lies!”

There we go, her samurai mode.

“You can vouch for me, can’t you, Yamada-dono?!”

“… nod ”

Yamada-san nodded at her. He could still keep his silence even in a situation like this. Such a cool guy.

“Lately, the president has been showing her concern for you, Joro. Everyone noticed it.”

“N-nggg… n-no… t-that isn’t…”

Is this Asunaro’s way of getting revenge at her?

If it is, then her revenge is successful, in a way. I mean, just look at her face—it’s all red.

“Where the hell is my beer?!”

Oh, crap! No one gave the old man his beer yet?!

Gotta dash!

“If that’s all, I’ll be going.”

“Yes! Do your best~!”

“D-do your best…”

Asunaro cheered loudly, in contrast to Cosmos’ low spirited cheer.

Seeing them like this, it’s hard to believe that Cosmos is the senpai here.

“O-kay!”

After grabbing the beer from the kitchen, I brought it over to Mayama-san.

By now, I’ve gotten used to the job. To show it off, I’ll deliver this with the graceful footsteps that I’d mastered over the past week!

Alright! Hop! Step!

“Sorry to keep you waiting! This is your—”

“You’re late! Seriously, you—w-woah!”

“W-woa!”

A dive?! An accident! 

The moment I was about to put the beer down, the old man turned his chair in my direction, and it hit my leg directly. Then…

“This brat! Throwing a beer at your customer like that…! Did they not educate you properly at school, huh?!”

The biggest mistake I could ever make occurred.

“P-please forgive me!”

He grabbed me by the collar and glared at me.

His breath reeks of alcohol, but I don’t have the lenience to care about that.

Fuck, I screwed up. That was totally my fault.

If I had been more careful, I wouldn’t have gotten too close to his chair. It was all because I got too overconfident because I thought I got used to the job already. I let my guard down…

“Are you trying to mess with me, you brat?! I’ve always thought that you’re an annoying brat, but it turned out you’re even worse than I thought!”

The old man’s angry voice echoed through the shop, attracting the attention of the rest of the customers.

Of course, that included Asunaro and Cosmos as well.

Getting yelled at in front of people you know… it feels like I’m being put in a circus and turned into a big fat joke…

“Dear Customer, is there anything wrong?”

Maybe he heard the commotion we made, Kanemoto-san rushed over to us.

At the same time as he asked that question, he slipped his body between ours, freeing me from the old man’s grasp.

“Can’t you see?! This brat threw the beer at me!”

“…Huh? Kisaragi-kun did—p-please forgive us! We’ll cover the fee for your cleaning!”

“What?! Are you fucking with me?! Just the cleaning fee?!”

Kanemoto-san bowed as he said that, but that didn’t seem to be enough for the old man. In fact, he got even angrier.

Of course, I bowed my head as well, but it went as well as you’d expect.

“Cover my food too! If nothing else, at least it’ll pay for the mental distress I’ve gone through!”

“We’re really sorry, but… as per our shop’s policy, we can only cover the dry cleaning’s fee.”

What Kanemoto-san said was written in the employee manual that I’d read before.

If we caused an accident, and the customer’s clothes got dirtied by it, we’d only need to pay for the cleaning fee.

As for their food and drink, they still had to pay for them—that was a rule that we’d never bend. But…

“D-don’t fuck with me…!”

It was a rule that only us employees knew about, and hearing it for the first time didn’t ease the old man’s anger at all.

If anything, he just got angrier than before. He directed his bloodshot eyes to Kanemoto-san as he glared at him.

“…You, why do you look so carefree, huh?”

Oh, crap, he’s out for me again.

Can I just… go away from here…? I know I can’t, I mean, I was the one who caused this whole mess, but still, I want to get away from here…

“This all happened because you did a sloppy job, you useless brat. You even made this guy come out and apologize in your stead. Don’t you have anything to say to that, huh?”

And here I thought I could take verbal abuse quite well. The moment the old man made it clear once again that I was the sole cause for this whole mess, it struck my heart harder than I ever expected. He’s right. It’s all my fault that things had become such a mess…

“I-I’m really sorry…”

“Is apologizing the only thing you can do, huh? Pathetic sod. You don’t have anything to do, so you thought you’d take a part-time job to get some quick money, right? I can see it from the way you look at me. It’s clear that you have no loyalty, you don’t care about your job. Worse, you can’t even do the thing you’re being paid for properly! It’s because of you that my clothes are in such a mess, and yet all you can do is apologize?!”

“…”

His words pissed me off, but what pissed me off the most was the fact that I don’t have any words I can say back to him.

Also, I was pissed that I made Kanemoto-san apologize for the mess I caused, but at the same time, I realized that what I’d been worried about all this time was actually so trivial that even a drunk old man could dismiss it like this…

“I’ve been annoyed by you for a long time now. Listen to me, you brat. I’ve lived in this world for so long, I busted my ass to get here, to earn my place in society. Seeing you working leisurely without a care in the world made me feel like you’re spitting on all the effort I’ve put in. You have no ambition, no goal in life, yet you get coddled by everyone around you. Must be nice, huh?”

Someone who took advantage of the kindness that the people around him showered him with. I was well aware of this for a while now, and now even a stranger pointed that out to me.

Of course, getting pointed out like this only made me feel worse…

“Can’t you think about your future a little, huh? Don’t you have any dreams at all?”

Ugh… yeah, I don’t. I don’t have any, you’re right!

How nice would it be to actually have dreams? Professional baseball player, kushikatsu chef, or even being good at tennis, any dreams at all would be nice.

In my eyes, people who have such dreams are all amazing. It doesn’t matter if they’ll eventually fulfill their dreams or not, just seeing them working hard to fulfill it is already enough to make anyone want to cheer them on. I admire them. Compared to them, I’m nothing.

I want to have a dream too—a goal I can chase after.

But, I can’t find either.

Besides, how do you even find one in the first place? People said that it’s easier to make your dream related to something that you love, but I don’t have such a thing. There’s nothing that I’m good at either. Yes. I have nothing. That’s how pathetic of a human being I am.

“…Once again, please forgive me for the troubles I caused.”

I gritted my teeth and apologized again. This was all that I could do.

Just like what a mob would do, I kept bowing my head, hoping for the protagonist to come and save me as this wasn’t a situation I could solve on my own.

From the corners of my eyes, I can see Asunaro and Cosmos looking at me with worried gazes.

Though to me, it seemed like they were just pitying me.

“I told you already, apologizing won’t—”

“Dear Customer, I’ll have to ask you to stop this. You’re bothering the other customers.”

As I was still bowing my head, I heard Tsubaki’s clear voice from behind me.

She probably heard the commotion from the kitchen and came all the way here.

“We’ll pay for your cleaning fee. Once again, we’re sorry for the trouble we caused.”

“…Tch. Fine. I’ll let you off this time.”

Just like that, he stopped. Tsubaki’s amazing. Instead of apologizing pathetically like I did, she used a firm voice when she apologized and made the old man back down.

“I’m going home! Give me the bills!”

“Understood. Please come this way.”

After that, Kanemoto-san accompanied him to the register.

He was still glaring at me as he did, and I could only bow my head, trembling.

“Joro, clean up the table and the floor.”

“…Got it. …Sorry…”

“Nobody’s perfect. Failure, along with success, is the force that drives people to be better.”

Even after I caused that mess, Tsubaki still encouraged me… I couldn’t thank her enough.

Still, I don’t know if I can recover from this…

After that, I mopped the floor without saying anything. When I was done, I immediately went to the back.

*   *   *

I walked through the dark road slowly with slumped shoulders.

After all that happened, Tsubaki came to me and told me, ‘You should go home now. But, keep it mind that I’m not mad or anything. It’s just, you’re bound to make more mistakes if you were to keep working. Take a rest, and do your best tomorrow, okay?’.

“Seriously, what the hell am I even doing…?”

I’d only been getting myself into trouble after trouble.

Each time, I got lucky and successfully solved them, and as a result, I got to interact with plenty of cute girls.

Because of that, I got carried away. I treated it all as a reward for my hard work.

That led to me letting my guard down. I got too complacent, thinking that I’d be able to solve the trouble easily this time too.

What a completely mob-like thing to do. Looking back, I realized how much of a pathetic person I was.

All those troubles, there wasn’t even a single one that I solved on my own. I’d just been sitting still while everyone around me solved those troubles for me.

And yet I had the galls to act as if I was the one who did all that, got complacent because of it, and now, I messed shit up for everyone involved.

This is reality—this is the only thing that I can accomplish without everyone solving my problems for me.

I caused trouble for the shop and hurt Tsubaki’s reputation, who went out of her way to hire me.

It’d be one thing if I were the only one hurt by this whole mess, but that wasn’t the case at all, wasn’t it?

“I’m home…”

Usually, they gave me a free meal after my shift was over, but I left early today, so I got nothing.

So, I told my mom that I’d be coming back earlier and eating dinner at home instead. She replied, ‘Okay!’ but I didn’t feel less shitty.

“Welcome back~ Hm? Are you okay, Amatsuyu? You look down.”

Wearing her heart-patterned apron, mom greeted me in her usual tone. Meanwhile, the tone I used was more melancholic than usual. It was only natural that she noticed my sour mood.

“Did something happen at work?”

“Not really. Don’t worry about it…”

“Is that so? Well, I’m sure that whatever it is, things will be okay! So, cheer up, okay?”

Huh? Why is she in such a good mood?

“You should go to your room! I have a surprise for you! It’ll probably cheer you up a little!”

Will I?

Honestly, even if she were to put a porn mag on my desk, I doubt it’ll cheer me up, let alone whatever this is all about.

…Whatever. I’ll just go to my room and see what’s up.

I dragged my heavy legs upstairs and slammed my door shut.

Alright, first thing first, get changed—

“Y-you aren’t supposed to just barge in like that, y-you know…?”

“…”

The first thing that I saw the moment I turned to see inside my room was a girl with a familiar voice, yet unfamiliar beauty.

I came in thinking that I’d get changed first before doing anything else, but this girl had already done exactly that before I could.

She’s still wearing her lower garments—skirt and stuff—but she’d already taken off her upper garments. Her uniform was laid out on my bed, leaving only a loose piece of clothing covering her chest.

While she tried to cover her ample chest the moment she saw me come in, she was doing it by pressing a certain loose piece of clothing against it, making it stand out more, if anything.

Her face was flushed red, her black pearl-like eyes—brimming with lustre—pierced through me as she glared at me. My eyes were glued to the allure of her flowing black hair, seemingly soft as if woven by silk. Facing such a sight, I couldn’t help but swallow—wait, this isn’t the time to be so descriptive!

Still, that was amazing. I didn’t realize that my vocabulary had increased by that much! All that reading paid off after all, huh!

“S-sorry!”

A-anyway, that surprised me. Seriously, why is she—why is Pansy in my room?!

Anyway, Mom was right! I do feel much better! Not in the way she probably thought, but I do!

“M-Mom?! What is this all about?!”

Feeling awkward to just stand there, I rushed back downstairs and confronted my mom.

“Hehehe, you see, I was hanging out with Sumireko-chan earlier, so I invited her over! Then, you told me you’ll be coming home earlier, so I told her to hide in your room to surprise you!”

Right, back during lunch, Pansy did say that she already had plans for after school…

So, hanging up with Mom was her plan, huh? That made sense.

Still, Mom probably didn’t expect that she’d be changing clothes inside my room…

Alright, I won’t say anything about it. If I do, she’ll just yell at me.

I’ve been yelled at enough today, I don’t want to get yelled at again.

“There’s still some time before dinner, so go talk with her~ ☆”

“…Okay.”

After that, I went back to my room.

I put my ear to the door, but when I noticed that I couldn’t hear any rustling noises from inside, I carefully opened the door and peeked inside.

“!”

Immediately, I reeled in shock.

It was because the one inside the room wasn’t the braided four-eyes Pansy.

Maybe she was still thinking about what had happened just now, her face was still bright red.

She was fidgeting around, playing with her hair, refusing to make eye contact with me.

They were the movements that I should be familiar with, but for some reason, it felt distinctively different.

‘Am I gonna be okay, staying inside a room with her being like this…?’

“Do you usually not knock first before entering a room…?”

She asked me while glaring at me with a slightly sharper gaze than normal, but that only made my heart beat quicker. Still, this wasn’t the time to lose my composure.

“…I do. When I enter a room other than my own.”

After telling myself to calm down three times, I entered the room.

Does my room always have this… flowery atmosphere? I dunno, it feels like I just entered someone else’s room.

Just having her here could change the atmosphere so much…

“…You pervert.”

Why did she say it like that? Saying ‘you pervert’ in such a tone, in this kind of situation, would just get me going, you know?

Though, I guess this is better than her calling me ‘pig in heat’ or something like that. I mean, I’m not an M. There’s no way I’ll enjoy that kind of verbal abuse.

In other words, this was the better one out of the two. So hello. Perverted Joro here.

Anyway, this situation—Pansy in my room with her real appearance—made me crazy excited, but it also left me with a question. So, let’s get that out of the way first and foremost.

“Why are you in that getup?”

“You promised me you’d show me your room, right? I’m just trying to hold you onto that.”

Ah, right, that. I promised her to do it in exchange for her helping Sun-chan and Himawari with their studies. Nothing got past her, huh? Amazing.

“…I’m asking you just in case, but you didn’t do anything weird here, right?”

“Of course. I put everything back where it belonged. If anything, it should be cleaner here now than before.”

That’s something that she doesn’t need to do… well, whatever. I won’t thank her for it, though.

Anyway, now that I asked that question and she answered, on to the next. Where the hell should I sit?

Yeah, I’m still standing in front of the door.

Pansy was sitting on the bed, so should I sit next to her? Should I put a cushion on the floor in front of her and sit there? Or maybe I should sit on the chair? I have to avoid setting up any kind of flag, so I have to sit as far away from her as possible… so the chair it is!

Alright, here we go! Damn, why do I feel so nervous?

“How was your work today, Joro-kun?”

At that, all the excitement that I felt instantly went away.

Why did this girl keep asking me the questions that I didn’t want to be asked the most?

That was quite literally the worst thing she could ask me right now.

“…Nothing much happened, like usual.”

“Is that so? So it’s normal for you to get yelled at by your customers?”

Tsk, so Cosmos already told her.

“Yes, it is. An old man yelling at me while I can only bow my head without saying anything back, it’s a normal day at work. What, do you have a problem with that?”

“Yes, I do. If that’s a normal day at work, why don’t you just quit?”

“What? The hell are you on about? Why would I quit?”

“Because I’m lonely. You don’t spend your time with me as often anymore.”

What the hell is wrong with her?

If Cosmos told her everything already, she should’ve comforted me, not making me feel even more awful than I already am.

“Besides, the reason why you started working is awful.”

“What? You know the reason why, right?”

“Of course. You need money to buy me the same book as the one you ruined.”

“And you still called it awful?”

This girl always thinks that only her opinion matters! This is why I hate her to begin with!

Did she think just because she’s pretty she could get away with everything?!

“…”

“What? Cat got your tongue?”

She looked away from me.

The girl who’d always look straight into my eyes whenever she was talking to me now averted her gaze away from mine.

“You told me… you’re going to buy another book as an apology…”

“I did, and?”

She looked down, still hell-bent on avoiding to look at me in the eye. From the way she stopped talking and drew her breath, it was clear that she was nervous, but, it seemed like she’d still say whatever it was in her mind anyway.

After gripping the hems of her skirt tightly with both hands, she looked straight into my eyes with her beautiful eyes.

‘What does she even want to say to me…?’

“But that isn’t the case at all, isn’t it? You… just want to protect your own status, don’t you?”

“…Urk!”

Those were words I didn’t expect, and it cut through me deep.

She found out! That was the truth that I didn’t want anyone to know!

“H-how did you…?”

“There’s no way I wouldn’t know. It’s obvious from the way you acted lately.”

She said, gripping her skirt even tighter, as if trying to stop her hands from trembling.

“You feel inferior to everyone else, so you don’t want to show even the slightest flaw to them. In this case, you don’t want them to think that you’re so irresponsible that you can’t take care of a borrowed book properly.”

“U-ugh…”

“Sun-chan is aiming to be a professional baseball player, Cosmos-senpai is studying to become a doctor, Himawari is putting all her effort for her club, and Tsubaki is doing her best to run her family’s shop. Meanwhile, you have nothing. You kept comparing yourself to them, and fed your feeling of inferiority more… to an abnormal degree.”

She was right. Appearance, abilities, even mindset—I was worse than everyone else in every way. That was why I didn’t want to show them even a moment of weakness.

So that they wouldn’t look at me with pity, and I’d get to protect my pride.

“You felt that if you were to take up on my refusal, it’d make you feel indebted to me, and that’d make you feel all the more miserable. That’s why you insisted on buying the book again for me. So that you can at least feel that you’re equal to everyone.”

That was dead on the money. At that, I could only stand there in a daze.

I really was that pathetic, huh…? She could tell that so easily too…

“You weren’t being sincere.”

Pansy’s lips twitched slightly as she said that. Her voice was in her usual monotone, but I could tell that it was different from usual.

She was about to say something. Something that required a great deal of resolve to say out loud.

“Disguising self-satisfaction as goodwill. That’s the kind of thing that I hate the most.”

“S-shut the hell up! So what if that’s true?! What is it to you anyway, huh?!”

Yeah, what she said was all true. 

But, so what? I’m just a mob, goddammit! Of course I’ll feel that way!

I’m bad at studying, bad at sports, I have no special skills, I have no dreams—I have absolutely nothing!

If I want to stand among everyone else, at the very least, I can’t carry unnecessary baggage!

“Joro-kun, you don’t need to feel that way. You’re already a wonderful and charming person as is, so don’t think too little of yourself. Believe in yourself more, okay?”

Stop… don’t look at me with that face… it’s me who should be crying here…

“What is there to believe?! I have nothing! Nothing at all!”

“You have me.”

“What does that have to do with anything?! Besides, I don’t even know why you like me! You told me you fell for me because I do things for my friend, but there are plenty of people like that in this world, and they are all better than me in every way!”

“But you’re the one that I like.”

Her response only annoyed me. There’s no way she expects me to believe all that.

A pretty girl like her? Fell for me for God knows why? C’mon, get real.

That childhood friend, the student council president, the girl from the Newspaper Club—you’re telling me that they all like me?

Me? The guy who’d only think about myself? Who’d jump at the first thing I see without thinking twice? The guy without anything going on in his life—no dream, no goal, no nothing, an actual, living mob! Even I myself hated my own guts, how could anyone like me at all?

Alright, say that I believe all that—I believe that they do like me, then what? I don’t even have the slightest clue on how to make any of them happy!

Say that I accept one of them, and reach this so-called happiness for myself. Then, what if she just stops loving me and abandons me?

I’ll be all alone, living in despair.

Human’s emotions are fickle. Pansy’s no exception.

I… just don’t want that to happen!

“Joro-kun, you don’t need to worry about anything. No matter what happens, I’ll always stand by your side. So please… confide in me… your worries, your anxiety, everything… confide in me, please…”

…Maybe, she can help me. If I just talk to her, maybe…

“…Pansy. Go home.”

I said that, clenching my fist as hard as I could.

There’s no way I’d tell her!

I don’t want her to know how miserable and pathetic I really was.

That’s why I told her the complete opposite to what I really wanted…

…In other words, the worst possible thing that I could do at this very moment.

“Is that… really what you think right now? Is that what you really feel?”

Just give up already. I’ve already gone this far, just give up…

Don’t approach me with that look on your face…

“Yeah, it is! That’s why, just go home already!”

Though my lips were trembling, I still somehow managed to shout those words out. Finally, she stopped moving.

“…Fine.”

She replied. Her voice sounded so fragile that it gave off the impression that she’d break at the slightest touch.

Then, the sound of her small footsteps echoed in the room, and as she reached for the door,

“You don’t have to force yourself to read the book.”

“Shut up. That is that, and this is this.”

I told her already, I’d read the book, regardless if it was tattered or not.

So I’d finish the whole thing no matter what. Unless she asked me to return it, I wouldn’t return it until I’ve finished reading it.

“I thought by visiting you in this appearance, I’d be able to have a pleasant, honest conversation with you, but it seems I was wrong… why did it end up this way, I wonder…?”

The answer to that question was obvious. Whichever appearance it was, she was still Pansy.

Even if her appearance changed, she was still the same girl with a rotten personality.

The girl that I hated. But, more than that, I hated myself.

“Then, I’ll be going.”

After saying that, she left the room, leaving the door open. I could hear her footsteps as she went down the stairs.

Now that she’s gone, two emotions surged inside me—relief and loneliness. Seriously I feel like such a mess right now.

“Laurier-san, I’m sorry, but I need to go home now.”

“Eh~? But I want to have dinner with you, Sumireko-chan! Also, don’t you want to watch Takki’s drama with me after?”

“I’m sorry, right now, it’s a little…”

“…Is everything alright? Did something happen between you and Amatsuyu?”

I could hear Mom’s and Pansy’s conversation through the open door.

It seemed like Mom had figured out what happened after seeing the way Pansy was acting and the fact that I didn’t come down to see her off.

“I see! Well, it can’t be helped, then! But, don’t you need to get changed first?”

“…Right. Is there a room I can use to change?”

“Of course there is! Once you’re done changing, I’ll take you to the station, okay~? Amatsuyu! I’m going to see Pansy-chan off!”

“Yes! Take care!”

I replied with the loudest voice I could muster, then I immediately dived into my bed.

…Huh? There was something on the bed…

“…Did she forget something?”

It was a bunny-ear headband and a carrot-shaped pen.

Of course, I recognized these things. They were from ‘Maid Usa-chan’s Fun Drawing Session’.

She probably planned to bring these out at an appropriate time during our conversation.

In other words… she was trying to cheer me up in her own, clumsy way. Seriously, what was that?

“…Why didn’t you just lead with this first, you dumbass?”

No matter what it was that I was trying to say, no reply would come.

And it only made it all the more apparent that we were having a huge fight, and it made me feel even worse than I already was.

‘…What am I gonna do from tomorrow on?’