Chapter 1 – This Is Too Much Even for Me!

Up until now, I—Joro, a.k.a Kisaragi Amatsuyu—had only experienced tragedy whenever I sat on a bench.

At one time, I was forced to give romantic advice to my childhood friend and the student council president. Then at another time, a stalker confessed her love to me. At another time, I had to give romantic advice to my best friend. And at another time, a certain member of the newspaper club accused me of having a three-way relationship.

But this time, the tragedy I had to experience thanks to the bench was far more atrocious than the ones I had experienced so far.

This happened today, early in the morning, in the cafeteria.

As for what tragedy it is exactly, I’ll let the girl sitting next to me recount it.

“Please help me turn Oga-senpai and Sanshokuin-senpai into lovers!”

There you go.

This girl with a mushroom-like bob cut, with a cute ribbon and a small red hairpin decorating her hair—this first year who’s also the baseball club’s manager said that outrageous thing to me.

Oga Taiyo a.k.a Sun-chan. He’s the baseball club’s ace; an athletic, cheerful, and energetic guy. But sometimes he’ll show a cunningness and decisiveness that you’ll never expect coming from him.

He’s my best friend, but back in April, an incident happened and shattered our relationship. We managed to recover from that, and now our bond is stronger than ever.

Sanshokuin Sumireko a.k.a Pansy. She’s a member of the library committee. Usually, she wears glasses; she has a flat chest and plain appearance. But that’s all fake. She’s actually a stunning beauty with huge racks.

But, don’t be fooled by her appearance! Her personality is horrible!

Really, she’s the worst woman to ever live on this planet! Her whole life revolves around bullying me and shit-talking me!

And this girl is trying to get those two together.

What a pain. This is something that I need to stay away from even if I have to go to hell for it.

Besides, I know what’s going on between those two well.

This is also the matter that I’ve been trying to avoid as hard as I can.

But I guess there’s no way this girl knows about that, huh?

She’s looking at me with sparkly eyes, maybe in her mind, I’ve already given her a ‘Yes’.

Anyway, this should be around the time when she starts the exposition, so let’s just get on to it!

“It started last year, when the baseball club went to the finals at the regionals!”

Alright, we passed that part! On to the next!

“Back then, I was still a middle schooler. I was sitting on the third base stand, cheering on the high school I wanted to enter, our school, Nishikizuta High! Unfortunately, we lost the match, but it was such a wonderful game, I was deeply moved! Oga-senpai especially, moved me! I was so touched by the way he cheered everyone with a smile, even though they lost!”

…Huh. That’s an interesting story.

A middle schooler going out of her way to see a high school baseball match? That’s new.

Anyway, this is the kind of thing that a girl who likes Sun-chan would say, no?

“So, I chased after Oga-senpai to tell him, ‘Next year, I’ll join the baseball club as a manager!’ But then I saw him together with a really pretty girl at the south exit!”

Huh, I know Cosmos was at the east exit, Himawari was at the west, Pansy was at the south, and me and Tsubaki were at the north, but I see. There was another person at the south, huh?

“Also, that pretty girl confessed to Oga-senpai!”

There’s the plot twist! The misunderstanding that will give birth to a tragedy that I always face whenever I sit on a bench talking like this!

That pretty girl didn’t confess to your Oga-senpai at all!

It was him who fell for her at first sight!

“But, Oga-senpai rejected her… Honestly, I was amazed that he could even think to reject her, she’s just that pretty, you know? Anyway, I felt sorry for her—I still am, actually. It’s still bothering me even now!”

You should feel sorry for me! Your misunderstanding will get me into another trouble! No, really, I’m scared for what’s to come now!

“Oh, right, I haven’t introduced myself! My name is Kamata Kimie, a first-year! Taking the ‘ta’ from my full name, they called me ‘Tanpopo’¹Kamata Kimie (蒲田 公英) taking the ta (田) out, and it becomes tanpopo (蒲公英) which means Dandelion. We’re still going with the flower theme for nicknames.! I’m a total cutie, you know? From grade school ‘til now I had been confessed to a total of 97 times! Three more times, and I’ll reach that three-digit mark! Hehehe!”

Uwah, finally, this kind of character appears! The kind of character who calls herself cute!

She even keeps track of how many times she was confessed to! This girl’s definitely a total pain in the butt to deal with!

“I see. As for me… you already know who I am, don’t you?”

“Yes! Kisaragi-senpai, the one everyone said to be a member of the subspecies of sewer rats!”

Which ‘everyone’ called me that?! I’ve never heard anyone call me that, hey!

N-no, actually, my reputation is down there, isn’t it? I-I guess it’s normal that people would treat me like a sewer rat or something…

“So, Kamata, why—”

“Just call me ‘Tanpopo’! You’ve been itching to call me with that nickname, haven’t you? Don’t worry! I’ll make an exception for you, so you can call me with it! Didn’t expect me to be so kind on top of being cute, did you?”

Thank you for the kindness. Can I indulge in more of it and ask you to please kindly disappear from my sight?

“…So, Tanpopo, why do you want Oga and Sanshokuin—no, Sun-chan and Pansy to become a couple?”

“Wow, you’re amazing, Kisaragi-senpai! You went straight for that instead of asking me what’s my hobby or favorite food first! I’m really surprised, you know?”

I’m surprised that you even considered I’d ask that.

“Alright, I’ll tell you the reason! It’s because of this year’s Kabuten²The festival on volume 2 if you don’t remember.!”

This year’s Kabuten? Why would that be the reason—wait, could it be…?

“But, I was really surprised! I never imagined the pretty girl from that time would participate in the Kabuten! Everyone seemed to not know who she was, but I knew immediately that she was Sanshokuin-senpai!”

I knew it! She noticed that the girl was Pansy!

Back when she participated in the Kabuten—it’s the event where a boy gets to dance with three different girls in turn—we made sure not to tell anyone who she was, but this girl somehow figured who she was!

Oh, by the way, the other people who participated in the Kabuten were me, as the only guy, my ever-so cheerful and cute childhood friend Himawari, and the first-class beauty student council president Cosmos.

Sun-chan was originally picked to participate as the third girl—he was a boy, but he planned to crossdress to live things up—but an accident happened, so Pansy stepped up to be the third girl instead.

Anyway, this is bad. Pansy’s true appearance is something that I have to hide. If I fail to, there’s no telling what kind of bad thing will befall me.

“That girl? Pansy? Oh, c’mon~”

I tried to somehow gloss over it, but honestly, I don’t know if this’ll work…

“Mufufu, Kisaragi-senpai, I like an honest guy better~ This year’s Kabuten’s participants are all everyone who hangs out in the library every day, no?”

“Ugh–! …H-how do you know that we hang in the library often?”

“Everyone knows that the library is where the popular students plus the sewer rat hang out!”

Wait, which category is Pansy in? Surely she’s also in the sewer rat category, right?

I can’t be the only one in that category, right??

“Since that’s the case, the third girl in the Kabuten can only be the only other girl who hangs out in the library, which is Sanshokuin-senpai! Honestly, I don’t understand why everyone else didn’t figure that out already!”

Damn, she’s right on the money! I can’t find a word to refute it! Of course some people would be bound to notice!

Like, we’re the only ones who visit the library every day!

“Continuing on! After the Kabuten, I noticed the look that Oga-senpai had when he looked at Sanshokuin-senpai. Those are the eyes of a man in love!”

Why is this girl so good at this?! And why did she misunderstand the most important detail?!

“Not only that! Sanshokuin-senpai also looked at him with a somewhat embarrassed smile! No matter how I try to look at it, that’s the face of someone who’s still clinging to her feelings from last year! Having experienced all those confessions myself, I could just tell!”

That’s not it at all! She looked embarrassed because that was the first time she ever referred to Sun-chan by his nickname!

I was on stage, I heard and saw everything!

“From that, there’s only one conclusion anyone can draw! Oga-senpai and Sanshokuin-senpai are totally in love with each other! It’s just, they can’t bring themselves to confess their feelings to each other!”

No, there isn’t just one conclusion! The one you drew is a way off from what actually happened!

“But that’s just what you think, Tanpopo. You might be wrong, what if there’s other—”

“Kisaragi-senpai, c’mon, you’re underestimating me.”

Yes, I am. Because you’re so wrong, it’s actually crazy that you’re so wrong.

Anyway, I had a feeling that she wouldn’t listen to what I said, and I was proven right yet again.

“Do you have any idea how many times I was confessed to? After that, I can tell how someone feels just by looking into their eyes! By the way, you’re giving me the ‘Should I confess to her right now?’ look, Kisaragi-senpai! Hit it right on the money, didn’t I? Hehe!”

No, I’m actually giving you the ‘I can admit that you’re cute, but you are a pain in the ass to deal with, so I’d rather not interact with you at all’ look.

Seriously, why am I surrounded by girls who’re so full of themselves?

“Anyway, what I told you was definitely true! Those two have feelings for each other!”

“But, even if they do, I don’t think we have any rights to interfere with their relationship.”

“Mufufu, Kisaragi-senpai, that’s just plain wrong!”

Amazing. Someone who was awfully wrong just told me that it was me who was wrong.

Also, for some reason, even though this girl’s throwing her face close to mine, I feel nothing. 

Well, the sweet vanilla scent emanating from her isn’t bad, though.

“Keep this in mind! Always! The most common problem in relationships between a man and a woman is misunderstanding!”

Yes, I keep it in mind already. Especially the fact that you misunderstood everything.

“Misunderstanding will get in the way of two people who love each other, and they’ll end up not being together in the end! This is something that happens all the time, and I’ve seen it countless times before! …In the shoujo manga I’ve read!”

You’re just dropping the whole ‘I’ve got confessed to countless times before’ thingy now? Also girl, you should do research on how likely the events in shoujo manga occur in real life first before making claims like that.

“And so, to prevent such a tragedy, I decided to take matters into my own hands! Now I’m here, ready to command even sewer rats!”

“Can’t you just do this by yourself?”

“Kisaragi-senpai, there’s no need to be scared! You can do this, you just lack the confidence! There’s a saying, ‘Even a cornered rat will bite a cat’, isn’t it? That’s what I’m trying to tell you here!”

So what’s the deal here? All I get from this is that I found myself in another annoying situation.

Japanese, the language of sewer rats—I tried using both, but I can’t seem to get through her.

“Kisaragi-senpai, when you tried to invite me to participate in the Kabuten before, you said some rude things to me, didn’t you? Think of this as a way for you to apologize to me!”

“What apology? You said some rude things to me yourself back then.” 

I still hold a grudge over her saying that my eyes look like dango made out of horse shit.

“Did I? Well, whatever it was that I said, since it was me—this extremely cute girl—who said it, it’s pretty much a reward in a guy’s eyes, no?”

Just what kind of image does this girl have about guys in her head?

“Could it be, you’re still not up to it, Kisaragi-senpai? Even though someone as cute as me is asking you a favor?”

Yes, I’m still not up to it. Even though someone as cute as you is asking me a favor.

“Ah, are you worried about what will happen if you fail? Don’t worry, Kisaragi-senpai! I’ll just tell everyone that you threatened me to do this while crying! They’ll only blame you, not me! Ehe~!”

Yay! There really is nothing to worry about then! Ahe~!

“No, I don’t want them to just blame me—”

“Then, just make them go out with each other! Simple, right? Also, guys who only care about looking out for themselves aren’t cool at all, you know?”

Whatever I do, whether it’s looking out for myself or anything else, will look uncool no matter what anyway, so that’s not something I’ll worry about.

“So, when should we start? Today? Tonight?”

What’s with this girl? Why does she act like me going along with her shit is a done deal?

“Why are you asking me out of all people to do this anyway? Can’t you ask someone else?”

“What are you talking about, Kisaragi-senpai? You’re Oga-senpai’s best friend, and you interact with Sanshokuin-senpai every day—you’re the perfect person to ask! Plus, I know that you’ll do anything a cute girl like me asks!”

Oho, so you’re treating me like I’m a fool.

I pride myself on being lenient to people, but there’s no way I’ll take this lying down.

“Of course I’ll give you something in return, Kisaragi-senpai! If you help me out, I’ll give you this Tanpopo-chan photo card! Here is an advance payment: ‘Tanpopo-chan looking like an angel in her casual outfit’! Take it!”

I don’t need that shit! She pulled out a photo of herself with a big smile, but I don’t care! Watch, I’ll shove it back—oh my. The amount of skin exposure in the photo…

You know, I gotta admit, this is a gem. An amazingly good selfie that managed to show off both her cute smile and sexy cleavage.

“So, what do you think now? It makes you want to do anything that I ask you, doesn’t it? By the way, the clothes I’ll wear will change as we progress, and they’ll get more and more revealing… I’m too embarrassed to say anything else~! Mufufu!”

…You know, maybe it isn’t such a bad idea to listen to what she has to say first. I can reject her later anyway, no?

Before that, let’s put this photo away. Can’t afford to get them bent or creased… okay, done!

“Why would you go this far for Sun-chan? You don’t even like him in that way, no?”

That’s the million yen question there. From what I’ve heard, it doesn’t sound like Tanpopo likes Sun-chan in that way. Seeing how self-centered she is, it’s really out of character for her to act like this.

“So that our baseball club can go to Koshien this year!”

“What? How does the two things even related to each other—”

“You’re really slow in that regard, aren’t you, Kisaragi-senpai~! Well, I’ll explain! You see, the most important person in our team is Oga-senpai without a doubt! He’s both our ace pitcher and cleanup hitter! Following so far?”

“Yeah…?”

Sun-chan quite literally strengthened the baseball team’s performance for quite a lot by himself.

“So, as long as Oga-senpai’s performance improves, the whole team’s performance will improve as well! Oga-senpai is someone whose performance is affected by his mental state. If he starts dating someone that he likes, the power of love will increase his performance even further, and if that happens, our team’s going to go to the Koshien for sure!”

…Hm, I can take that excuse, I guess. It’s reasonable enough.

In other words, she’s just doing her best for the team she manages. Got it.

“And if we go to Koshien, my popularity will go through the roof! The whole world will be flooded with Watagests!”

I was an idiot to think for a second that she’s acting for the sake of the baseball team at all.

‘Watagests’ is probably a term for her fans, maybe. Sticking to the whole tanpopo bit, huh³Watage is what they called the dandelion seeds.?

“How is the baseball team going to Koshien gonna make your popularity rise?”

“Haa… You really are slow, Kisaragi-senpai! Seriously!”

What? Surely I’m not that slow… right?

“Kisaragi-senpai, do you know, at Koshien, what shines the brightest?”

“What shines the brightest? Like, the players’ sweat?”

“Wrong! The answer is… the tears that spill out from my eyes! The cute manager who’s overwhelmed with emotion as I watch the players doing their best to become the champion!”

Don’t get ahead of yourself! You’ll just be an extra there!

“It’s Koshien, so they’ll broadcast the match nation-wide! Imagine if my crying face were to be shown on TV! Everyone will fall in love with me, won’t they? I mean, I’m cute, no? If they were to see my crying face, no matter what age, everyone would fall in love with me, no?”

“P-probably~”

“Not probably, it will happen, just wait! A Koshien match without the tears of a cute manager is like ordering unaju⁴roasted eel + rice + sauce basically. without the eel!”

No manager has ever become the star of Koshien! There’s never a precedent for it!

“Then, after attracting so much attention, I’ll rise from my status as a high school-wide idol to a nation-wide idol! I’ll spread my wings to every corner of Japan—no, to every corner of the world as a member of a super popular idol group! The group name will be my namesake, ‘Tanpopo’! It’s an amazing and modern group name, no?”

That’s the name of a certain sub-group of an idol group that ends with a ‘.’⁵Like he said, ‘Tanpopo’ is the name of a sub group of an idol group called Morning Musume ’26. (the dot is part of their name). The group was formed at 1997, while Tanpopo was formed at 1998.. That idol group came a whole generation before us. If anything, it’s an outdated name.

“So, those are my reasons, Kisaragi-senpai! What do you think? Are you moved by my selfless and innocent nature? Now you’ll help me, won’t you?”

If anything, I’m sick of your selfish and wicked nature that I won’t even consider helping you.

Basically, you want me to help you because you just want attention from everyone, don’t you?

Man, I want to reject this ridiculous request, there’s no need to even think about it. But…

“Say that I refuse you here, Tanpopo. What will happen?”

“Hmm… I doubt that you’ll ever refuse a request from someone as cute as me, but if you do, I’ll just find someone else, tell them the same thing I told you, and ask for their help instead.”

Alright! Here we go! Subtle intimidation time! 

Basically, if I refuse her here, she will tell everyone everything and ask them to do what she told me to do instead.

That means… the person she will ask later will know of Pansy’s secret.

And that’s the situation I want to avoid the most. Ugh… what a pain…

“Fine, fine. I’ll help you out, Tanpopo.”

Rubbing my fingers together, I said those words.

Tanpopo, pleased by my words, let out a bright smile. Damn, I hate admitting this, but she sure is cute.

“Yay! Thank you for accepting my request! As a thank you, I’ll pat your head! Or would you like a hug instead?”

“Neither, really.”

“I-I see. T-that surprised me, I-I really thought you’d pick one…”

Ugg… I ended up putting my pride first and refused her…

W-well, not like I want to be hugged by her—or anyone in that matter, anyway! I’m a tough guy, I’m not interested in such a thing!

“Mufufu! Alright, let’s start thinking about our next strategy!”

“Sounds interesting! This will make a good article, for sure!”

…Huh? That’s not Tanpopo talking. Someone else’s barging in to our conversation?

At that moment… from behind… out of nowhere…

“Hii! W-who—?!”

“Woah?! Asunaro?!”

“Hello! It’s me, yes!”

I turned around to see Asunaro a.k.a Hanetachi Hina, the girl who speaks in the Tsugaru accent whenever she gets flustered. With her cute ponytail swaying, she gave us her smile, holding her signature red pen in hand.

Wait, why the hell is she here?!

“Hehehe! Earlier, I saw you leaving the classroom with a really serious look on your face, Joro, so I figured I’d follow you. Turns out I made a great decision!”

So she’s here because of me…

“H-hawawawa… U-um, Kisaragi-senpai threatened me! He said he had something to tell me!”

A-awawawa… She’s already throwing me under the bus, this girl!

“That’s a lie, Tanpopo, I heard everything, you know? You’re trying to ask Joro to turn Sun-chan and Sanshokuin-san into lovers, aren’t you?”

“A-am I? W-wait, how do you know my nickname…?”

“Don’t underestimate my information network. Kamata Kimie, a.k.a ‘Tanpopo’. A really popular girl who charms people with her cute appearance and cheerful personality.”

“A-ah, y-yes, that’s me… D-do you want my autograph?”

This is no time to show her that kind of consideration! That means Asunaro knows everything now!

If this keeps up, she’ll write an article about how you and I are trying to turn Sun-chan and Pansy into a couple! And if that were to happen… my school life would be ruined! Agh! Just the thought of it is already scary enough!

“No, I don’t need it! Your Watagests might want it though, so give it to them instead!”

“H-Hii! Y-yes, you’re right, I-I’ll do that instead! Thanks for the suggestion!”

You even know about Watagest, Asunaro?! Your information network is crazy!

“Y-you, what are you planning, huh?!”

“Oh, c’mon, don’t give me that scary look~ I only want one thing, y’see~?”

I’m giving you this scary look because of that one thing you want, girl.

“To put it bluntly, let me cover what you’re trying to do!”

“Huh?” “Eh?”

“Well, you see, romance-related articles have been scarce in our school’s paper lately, so we’re kinda desperate to publish at least one before the summer break happens. Something like, ‘This Guy and This Girl Have Become a Couple!’ will do. If your plan succeeds, I’ll get a whole story from start to finish to write, so, can you let me do it? Please?”

Ah, I see. So she just wants to get the whole story about how two people become a couple.

A typical motivation for a member of the Newspaper Club, but…

“That’s a little…”

I doubt Tanpopo would want that. At all.

Asunaro’s a senpai to her, but I doubt she’ll want someone who’s there to ask questions around 24/7. It’ll be awkward for her, after all.

“Of course, I won’t tag along for free! I’ll provide you both with as much information as I can provide!”

“That sounds reassuring, but still…”

“On top of that, I’ll add a feature article about your devotion and adorable-ness, Tanpopo! That will, for sure, increase your popularity even more!”

“I’ll be in your care! Please write the article in the ratio of 3 for the lovers’ story, and 7 for me!”

Too easy! Not even that, you’re just too cheap! You changed your tune in no time at all, girl!

“Um… May I know what your name is, Senpai?”

“It’s Hanetachi Hina! I’ll be in your care from now on, Tanpopo!”

“Yes! I’ll be in your care, Hanetachi-senpai!”

Throughout that, I didn’t say a single word in favor of Asunaro joining us, yet they just went on with it anyway. Just what is going on? Do I have no say in this matter? Like, at all?

“Mufufu! With this, I can finally pull ahead of Hinata-senpai and Akino-senpai! Those two have been hindering me from becoming the most popular in school for so long…”

“Hehehe! As long as Sanshokuin-san and Sun-chan are together, then Joro will be…”

Both the fake idol and the girl from Tsugaru are acting out of self-interest.

Also, why do I keep hearing these kinds of muttering? Sometimes, I wish I couldn’t hear this sort of thing…

“Kisaragi-senpai, I’m sure you know this already, but you can’t tell anyone about this, okay? If someone were to find that you’re involved with someone as cute as me, they’ll stab you out of jealousy, you know?”

Hah! Don’t underestimate me! I’m just an ordinary protagonist you can find anywhere! 

So far, nobody’s saying anything about me getting involved with the cute girls I’ve been involved with!

The only thing that happened was, for some reason, whenever I walked in the hallway, the guys would click their tongue on me. Occasionally, a good-looking guy would step up and stomp on my foot. But none of them looked like they were jealous at all!

…Still, I won’t say anything. Just in case, you know?

“Got it. I won’t say anything about this.”

“Thanks for the straightforward answer! Well, homeroom is about to start, so let’s continue this after the first period! Oh, I’m in class 2, so please come to my classroom, okay?”

Hey, I’m the one who’s supposed to be helping you here. Why should I be the one who comes all the way to your classroom?

Are you actually an idiot? Yes, you are. There’s no way you aren’t.

“Alright, I’ll be off~ Huh? Wait, the way I said ‘off~’ in that sounded pretty good! So cute! Mufufu!”

Amazing. Even when she left the cafeteria, she was still praising herself.

In that regard, she’s similar to Pansy with her stupidly positive takes on things and sarcastic remarks. In other words, they were both annoying.

“…So, what exactly are you plotting here?”

Asunaro just stared at me with a meaningful smile.

“C’mon, I’m not plotting anything~ I really just want some materials for an article~”

“As if I’ll believe that. I mean, you are the kind of person who—what? Why are you getting closer to me?”

Don’t get closer! I’ll take a whiff of your unique apple-like shampoo scent!

“If I say I just want to spend as much time with you as possible, will you believe me?”

“…I’m going back to the classroom.”

“Ah, wait! H-hey, slow down! Wait for me!”

*   *   *

“Joro! Where have you been?”

When I got back to the classroom, my childhood friend, Himawari a.k.a Hinata Aoi, came over to me with puffed cheeks. She seemed to be in a bad mood for some reason.

“I wanted to talk with you! But you went off somewhere without me! Meanie!”

That’s so cute it’s almost a sin. A certain fake idol could learn a lot from her.

“My bad. Well, there’s still time before homeroom, you can talk to me now.”

“Yay! I get to talk with Joro now~!”

Her mood immediately shifted to cheerful and she snuggled to my arm. As expected of a natural bitch! What an amazing display!

As expected, she has no equal! This girl can always heal both my body and mind!

“So, Joro! What were you doing?”

Ah, that’s what we’re going to talk about? Of all things, it has to be that?

Why can’t we talk about something else, like what I ate for breakfast for example?

“Well, things.”

“Mm?”

Oh, crap. Her hair shook.

This meant she thought that something was amiss, and was about to come at me.

“What do you mean ‘things’? C’mon~! Tell me~!”

I knew it! She has an innocent, carefree smile, but she’s only smiling because she assumes that I’ll tell her everything!

“You know, just… things. Don’t worry about it too much, okay?”

“But I want to know! Tell me, tell me! Ehehe~!”

She’s coming closer to me! Uhehe~!

Anyway, how am I going to gloss over this? It’s Himawari, she won’t fall for my lies…

“Alright, alright! …Himawari, I’ll tell you what he did instead! Come here!”

Asunaro, I appreciate you trying to cover for me, but you don’t have to separate me from her… a-also, you don’t need to glare at me… s-sorry, I’ll shut up…

“Really?! Okay, can you tell me now, Asunaro-chan?”

“Joro was talking with a first year! He looked so happy too!’

“Eh? Eeeeehh—?!”

Asunaroooooo!! I was a fool for thinking that you’re trying to cover for me!

“Joro, what happened?! I’ve never heard of this!!”

Because I didn’t tell you! I mean, I never expected it’d happen either!

“Asunaro-chan, was the girl cute?! Was she a good girl?!”

“Yeah, really cute! A really devoted one too!”

Don’t twist it like that! Yes, she’s cute but she gets on my nerves! And her devotion is a twisted one toward her own self-interests!

“Joro! You’re a bad, bad, bad, bad boy! Why do you keep chasing after girls?!”

“I am not! Stop assuming that I started this whole thing!”

“Ngg… you didn’t?”

“Yeah, I didn’t. Besides, she isn’t my type. At all. I’m into the pure and innocent type.”

“Really?! Yay! I’m so happy! Happy, happy, happy, happpyyyyyy!”

It’s good that’s enough to convince you, but why do you look so happy and restless at the same time?

“T-that means… you like girls like me, right?”

Wait. Sure, that upward glance you’re giving me is cute, but that’s all. You don’t have the pure and innocent trait anywhere else.

“No. By ‘pure and innocent’ I meant a girl who has that kind of innocent aura around her? A gentle, refined aura…”

“So me! Yay!”

Is this girl okay in the head? You’re the complete opposite of my description, you know?

“…The pure and innocent kind, huh…? …Gross…”

Huh? I swear I heard some kind of muttering coming from my left side, but it was probably just my imagination.

Yeah. Must’ve been the wind. I will not turn my head to look that way. Definitely not.

*   *   *

End of the first period. Since it was recess, I headed to the floor where the first-years were.

Together with Asunaro. Her ponytail bobbed back and forth.

“This somehow reminds me of back then~”

Come to think of it, I’ve gone to the first-years’ floor with her before, huh?

It was during the time when she accused me of three-timing and was following me around to get more information…

“Yes. Not a really good memory. For me.”

“It is for me! Because I got to be with you, Joro~!”

“…I see.”

You know, I’ve been wondering about this for a while, but what’s up with her mental fortitude, man?

Like, I’ve said pretty harsh things to her before, and yet—you know what? Never mind. Let’s just call Tanpopo over quickly. She’s in… class 2, I believe?

Ah, perfect timing. I’ll ask that girl to call her over.

“Uh, sorry to bother you, I’m Kisaragi, a second-year. I need to talk with Tanpopo—”

“Kyaaa! The sewer rat is here!”

Oho. So this is what Tanpopo was talking about. Alright, I guess it’s time to use my authority as a senpai to end this matter quick—

“Kisaragi-senpai! Hanetachi-senpai! I’ve been waiting for you two~!”

Ugh. Tanpopo’s here. I guess abusing my authority has to wait. You, I’ll remember you, girl…!

“Someone might hear us if we talk here, so why don’t we move somewhere else first~?”

“Sure.”

“In that case, Joro, Tanpopo, I’ll bring you to my favorite spot to have a private conversation! No one else will be there, and we won’t need to worry about anyone overhearing anything!”

That kind of place exists? Here, in our school? Well, that’s new.

…Wait, isn’t this just the newspaper club’s room? Yeah, no one is here around this time, so no one will overhear our conversation, but I’d rather we go to a more secretive place.

“Well, I’d love to get straight to the strategy meeting, but before that, I have a question for you, Hanetachi-senpai!”

“Yes~ What is it?”

“Does Sanshokuin-senpai have someone that she likes?”

Huh, I thought she’d just jump in, but she’s surprisingly cautious. Not bad.

Alright, Asunaro, try to say something like, ‘She does, but it isn’t Sun-chan!’ and resolve this misunderstanding once and for all! Free me from this hassle!

“Yes, she does~”

Why are you leaving the most important part out?! You’re telling the truth, for sure, but that still doesn’t solve the problem at hand!

“I knew it! Can I know who it is?”

“Nope, sorry! It’s not a good feeling if someone were to tell others who your crush is, right~?”

Alright, you’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?! Adding more to her misunderstanding, aren’t you?!

“Ugg… well, it’s fine! Anyway! Mufufu! Told you Kisaragi-senpai! The person Sanshokuin-senpai likes is definitely him!”

“Yeah, it’s definitely him alright.”

“Right? As expected of Kisaragi-senpai!”

“Yep. You can leave everything to me.”

Our conversation doesn’t match, but who cares at this point?

“This means my Koshien debut is coming up soon! I’m just one step away from having tears of joy!”

“No, Tanpopo, you’re way off. You’re not one step away, you’re already a hundred steps ahead.”

Except that you went in a whole different direction entirely.

“Really? Mufufu! I’m happy to hear you say that! Thank you!”

“No need to thank me. My heart’s beating really hard too.”

Because I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me.

“Mufu! Nice to know you’re also excited! Alright, now hurry up and help me, Kisaragi-senpai!”

Sure, sure. You’re going to ask me to do an impossible request, right? I’m ready. Just bring it on.

I bet you’ll ask me something like, ‘Make Pansy and Sun-chan get closer’ or something—

“Please give Sanshokuin-senpai a hug during lunch break today!”

“Why the hell should I do that?!”

That goes beyond even my tolerance level! What the fuck is she on about?!

“Seriously, you’re as slow as ever, Kisaragi-senpai! I feel sorry for you, so here, let me give you a pat on the shoulder! But! Don’t get too excited, okay? Pat pat~”

Buzz off, seriously! I’m not happy about being patted at all!

“Here’s the thing! There’s a 80-90% chance that Sanshokuin-senpai feels the same way as him! All we need is a trigger, and that will take care of everything! And the one who can create that trigger is you, Kisaragi-senpai!”

Yeah, and that 10-20% of you being wrong is the truth here!

“It’s what happened in all the shojo manga that I’ve read! Before the main couple starts dating, a rival would come and cause trouble for the couple, and that’s the trigger for the main couple to finally start dating! You’ll be playing that role, Kisaragi-senpai!”

“Hell no! I won’t do that even if you ask me to!”

“But why?! Don’t you want to make my tears shine at Koshien, Kisaragi-senpai?!”

“If the price I have to pay for it is my own happiness, hell no!”

“Ugg… fine! I suppose there’s no other choice! Then, I’ll give you a compromise and let you kiss her instead!”

“That’s not a compromise! You’re making it worse for me!  Besides, you can do this kind of thing yourself! Go and hug Sun-chan, or do whatever else that will make your plan work!”

“Ahaha! What are you talking about, Kisaragi-senpai? If I do that, all the guys who have feelings for me will get hurt! Besides, it’ll hurt my reputation as an idol if they think that I have feelings for a guy! That’s why, I’ll leave everything to you, Kisaragi-senpai!”

Can I beat her up? She’s practically trying to sacrifice me to the Devil with a bright smile here.

“Look, let me get it straight. I’m not gonna do those two things!”

“Huee! P-please don’t yell at me…”

Before you complain about me yelling at you, why don’t you think about why I’m yelling at you?

“Haa… Fine. Since you insist, as a gentle, kind, and generous girl, I will take a step back.”

Take another 99 steps. You’ve gone 100 steps in the wrong direction, you need to step back for that much to get back to the starting point.

“Then, Kisaragi-senpai, using ‘the best approach that you can do,’ please come up with a way to shoot through Sanshokuin-senpai’s heart! Do everything you can! Even if the worst possible scenario happens and you two end up dating because of it, it’s fine!”

“Hell no. Also, let me remind you that I’m just helping you out here. I don’t appreciate you keep telling me to—”

“Don’t you want the photocards? The second one is ‘Tanpopo-chan slightly lewd nurse version’. This one’s pretty revealing—”

“I’ll try my best. Don’t get your hopes up, though.”

It’s not like I’m forced to hug or kiss Pansy anyway. She’s giving me free reign on what to do.

If it’s like that, I can still do it, I guess. Also, I’ll take the photocard, I guess.

“Yay! I might just give you a bonus one as a thank you if you do well! Also, let’s meet up again during the afternoon break! I’m looking forward to hearing about the result! Mufufufu!”

After saying that, the misguided demon, satisfied with her arrangement, skipped out of the newspaper club’s clubroom.

…Crap. I said I’d do it in the heat of the moment, but I have no idea what I should do.

“Guess I can say that the relationship between you two is like that of a master and a servant, isn’t it~? Poke poke~”

After Tanpopo left, Asunaro giggled and poked my cheek with her red pen.

It’s a cute gesture, but man does it annoy me.

“So, who’s the master and who’s the servant again?”

“Why are you asking the obvious? Of course you’re—ow! Joro! Stop grabbing my ponytail!”

Huh. I grabbed her ponytail on a whim, but this is more fun than I expected.

Alright, because of this, I’ll let her words slide this time.

*   *   *

Lunch break. As always, I headed to the library with my lunchbox in hand.

Sun-chan joined me on his way back from buying bread at the cafeteria. After everyone had sat down, it was time to eat.

“Man, it’s almost time for regionals. I can’t wait!”

“You aren’t nervous at all, Sun-chan? Amazing. By the way, finals are coming up soon, are you excited about that too?”

The one who said those words of amazement to the extremely excited Sun-chan—the pretty girl with a rather boyish-look—was my boss at my part-time job, Yoki Chiharu a.k.a Tsubaki. 

She looks as thin as always, as expected of a pettan—

“Are you thinking about something rude again, Joro?”

“No? I’m thinking about the relationship between Hinduism and New Zealand. You’re probably imagining things.”

“I see. Okay, then.”

Man, that was close! That sort of topic is a sore spot for her. I have to tread more carefully next time.

“Hehe, I won’t have to worry about that! Our club got a special treatment due to our last year’s result! We can practice even when the finals are close, and even if we get failing grades, they won’t ban us from club activities and we won’t have to attend make-up classes!”

You still can’t just fail your exam, Sun-chan.

I know that baseball comes first for you, but work on your studies just as hard too, okay?

Anyway, let’s leave these two aside for a bit. There’s something that has been bugging me for a while now.

“““…”””

For some reason, the other three in our group—Pansy, Himawari, and Cosmos—were all eating their lunch without saying anything. Seriously, what’s up with them?

“Alright! I’ll do my best!”

While I was wondering about that, Himawari suddenly turned her gaze toward me and let out that strange shout.

She let out a heavy breath through her nose. That was how fired up she was.

“Joro, Joro! What do you think of me today? Sparkle~!”

First of all, I don’t know why you are asking me that question.

Second of all, I don’t know why you’re making that noise while running your fingers through your hair.

“What…? …Uh, the same as always?”

“Ngg—! Wrong! Today, I am more pure and innocent like usual! Sparkle~!”

I see. So this childhood friend of mine thought that if she were to run her fingers through her hair like that and say, ‘Sparkle~!’, she’d look pure and innocent. I’ve known her for so long, but there are still plenty of her antics that I just can’t understand, huh?

“Running your fingers through your hair while saying ‘Sparkle~!’ won’t make you look more pure and innocent, you know? To achieve that, you need to become a gentle and graceful girl.”

“No, that’s not how it works at all! Joro, you durkle!”

What’s the point of mixing ‘dummy’ and ‘sparkle’ like that? Are you trying to create a whole new language or what?

“Joro-kun.”

While I was still dealing with Himawari, a certain braided four-eyes’ flat voice came from beside me.

She was dressed the same as usual today—in other words, her ugly appearance.

“…What is it, Pansy?”

“I haven’t told anyone about this, but I actually have a reputation for being gentle and graceful.”

Oh… This girl didn’t even bother to sugarcoat it, she just shot through it.

“I see. By the way, apparently, I have a reputation for being a member of a subspecies of sewer rats.”

“Oh my… poor thing… sewer rats, huh…?”

“Okay. Let’s talk about this in detail first.”

“Oh, my. You want to talk about it with me? Such possessiveness can turn a little troublesome even for me, you know?

Your sharp tongue and positive take on my words is a major pain in the ass for me. But it isn’t like there’s anything I can do about it.

“Heh… I won.”

At that moment, Cosmos, a.k.a Akino Sakura, clasped her hands together, covering her mouth and uttered that daring-sounding remark.

Is she trying to act like a special service agency’s commander or something like that? Well, I mean, some of our students went rogue just a while ago, so I guess this is understandable.

“Heh… Himawari and Pansy are quite a handful for you, aren’t they?”

You’re the most troublesome one out of them all, do you know that?

While I like that you’re holding your elbows together to emphasize the size of your chest—you’re doing it unconsciously, I know—that combined with your strange way of speaking makes me feel awkward to even talk to you, you know?

*   *   *

“Speaking of, Joro, what are your plans for your summer shift? It’s not time to make a proper schedule yet, but I’ll appreciate it if you tell me in advance.”

After that stupid conversation about pure and innocent thingy passed, Tsubaki asked me that question.

I don’t know why I feel so relieved after hearing her speak, but it’s probably because she isn’t pulling a half-assed elegant act like what the others are doing.

“Ah… Let’s see… I don’t know the exact details yet, but it’d be great if you can fit a three to four days a week schedule for me. Since it’s summer vacation, eight hours a day should be fine. Is that okay?”

“Mm, that should be okay. Could you let me know when you’ll have a more detailed schedule?”

“Okay. Sorry for not giving you a better answer.”

“Don’t be. You’re a convenient and easy to use worker, so I can be more lenient with you, hehe.”

Seriously, you’re the kindest of them all, Tsubaki. But ‘convenient and easy to use’? Girl, my feelings’ hurt.

“Ah, right. I actually wish that we all could go somewhere together during summer vacation. If it’s possible.”

Alright, time to seize the opportunity! Let’s jump in! Now!

“That sounds good! I’m in! Where do you think we should go?”

It’s summer vacation! If we want to go somewhere, then there’s only one place to go to!

The beach! The place where I can see everyone in their swim—

“Let’s go to the summer festival. It’s in August, right?”

NOOO! THAT’S NOT IIIIT! Well, this one’s fine too, though.

“Ah! That’s a great idea, Tsubaki-chan! I’m in! Let’s all wear a yukata! A yukata!”

“Summer festival, huh? I’ve never gone to one with a friend before, I’d love to go!”

“Me too.”

“It’s settled then. I don’t have a yukata, so I’ll have to go buy one first. Hehe, I’m looking forward to it.”

In this kind of atmosphere, I’ll probably get yelled at if I were to say, ‘I want to go to the beach!’.

As a protagonist you can find anywhere, what can I do in such a situation?

Usually, it’s the girls’ job to plan out what to do during summer vacation, right? Not me, right?

But, if this were to continue, the chances of a beach event happening would decrease… and we don’t want that, do we? For the sake of you readers, I need to pull something off that will make everyone want to go to the beach!

“Same, same, I’m in too! Festival’s just the best, right? Fireworks, all sorts of stalls—ah, also shaved ice! The best thing ever exists in summer! Speaking of cold things, cold places might be nice too! You know? That place filled with water?”

“Are you going to a temple for training, Joro-kun? If so, I’m sorry, I can’t go with you.”

“I’m not gonna do waterfall meditation! That’s not what I’m trying to say! At all!”

“Is that so? But, it’s a perfect activity for you. It’ll help you wash away your worldly desires.”

This braided four-eyes! She’s trying to sabotage my subtle enticement!

I just want to see everyone in their swimsuits, dammit!

But, I have to act like I’m not interested in that kind of thing at all! So I can only glance at them with the corners of my eyes. 

“Ah, I get it! You wanna do nagashi somen don’t you? That sounds fun, yes!”

You got me, Himawari! Letting the noodle flow down the cold water, slurping it—wait, no!

“That sounds good, yes! I bet it’ll be even better if we do it on a mountain with a nice view! Just think about it. Eating nagashi somen while enjoying a nice mountain view~”

Too bad the mountain view I want to enjoy isn’t that kind of mountain view!

I want to enjoy Cosmos Mountain! From the beach!

“Climbing the mountain is tiring. Why don’t we do it at Joro-kun’s room instead?”

That second option doesn’t make any sense! Why is my room an option?! At least make it my house’s backyard!

“Good idea, Pansy-chan! I’m in!”

“Oho! That’s a good idea, indeed! Yes, yes! I’ve always been interested in the amazing view of Joro-kun’s room! This is the perfect opportunity for that, so I’m in!”

“Then, it’s settled. I’ll get permission from his mother.”

[Sad News] A high school boy tried to go to the beach and got his room ransacked! LOL!

No, this isn’t a joke! This is a horrible development!

Dammit, I just want to go to the beach with everyone! Why do I have go through all this trouble just for that?!

Alright, we’ve gone from summer festival to nagashi somen. Now, how do I shift the topic to the beach from here?

Does the world not want me to go to the beach this badly? Will I never get to see everyone in their swimsuits?

“What’s wrong, Joro? Why do you look so down?”

“Ah, I just want us to go to the beach, but I guess that won’t happen, huh…?”

“Huh? You want to go to the beach, Joro?”

Oh, crap… I just blurted out my true feelings…

“If you want that, I’m in! The beach sounds good too! Let’s go to the beach, everyone~!”

The Supernatural Ultimate Galaxy Angel Bitch had blessed me!

This girl was completely oblivious to my evil intentions and just suggested everyone to go to the beach with an excited tone! Not only that, she seemed to be really wanting to go too!

“The beach, huh~? Playing beach volleyball and smashing watermelons with everyone… Yep, that sounds fun… Mhm! I’m in too, Himawari-san!”

Telling the truth is too OP! Man, I should’ve done this from the start!

From now on, I should tell the truth more—no, I should tell nothing but the truth!

“If everyone’s in, I’m in.”

Even Pansy’s in—nah, this might seem like a good thing, but this could very well be a trap.

After all, when it came to shooting down my expectations, this girl was world-class. Even if she joined us, I shouldn’t expect her to use her real appearance.

“Going to the beach with boys, huh…? That will make it my sixth first experience. Joro, I need you to promise me not to laugh when you see me in my swimsuit.”

Oh my~ Tsubaki-chan’s making a rare embarrassed and nervous face~ 

But surely that won’t stop you from going, right, Tsubaki-chan~? Don’t worry, I’ll promise not to laugh~

“Sure, I can promise that.”

“Then, pinky promise?”

She’s sticking her pinky out~ So cute~ Alright, I’ll intertwine mine with you~

“Cross my heart and hope to die. If you break your promise, you’ll have to swallow a thousand kushi⁶Skewers.. Promise me.”

Why is this one pinky promise scarier than the ones I’m used to…?

“Hehehe, now there’s nothing left for me to worry.”

“I-I guess…”

Does this mean I have to swallow a thousand kushi even if I were to chuckle just a little?

“I have to practice in summer, so I don’t know if I can make it, but if I can, I’ll join in!”

Sun-chan’s most likely gonna be free after the summer tournament, but before that, well, there’s no helping it if he’s too busy. It’s okay, though! I’m fine going alone with these girls!

Man, I can’t wait for the summer vacation! Swimsuits! Yukata!

Alright, now that everything’s settled, time to end the lunch—*bzzt bzzt*

Huh? My phone’s vibrating… this doesn’t seem good…

[I assume that Sanshokuin-senpai already has a boyfriend by now, right~?]

Of course not! The hell are you on about?! That’s just too quick!

Dammit… I’ve been trying to pretend that what happened this morning didn’t happen and let it go…

What am I supposed to do with ‘the best approach I can make’ anyway?

Actually, I know what to do. Just do nothing.

Like, Pansy’s gonna throw herself to me whether I like it or not anyway. Normally, I won’t bother even entertaining her, but what if I deliberately accept her feelings this time?

This way, Pansy’s heart will flutter, and it’ll also provoke Sun-chan, who’ll be watching from the side!

Alright, Pansy! Come and make a move on me! Now! Stare~

“Oh my, what’s wrong, Joro-kun? If you keep staring at me with such an intense gaze, you’ll make me embarrassed, you know?”

She’s doing exactly what I expected her to do! Alright, I’ll respond in kind!

“That’s exactly my goal. I like seeing your embarrassed face, Pansy.”

There you go! I even slipped out the word ‘like’ for her as a service!

Hehe, how was that, Pansy? Did I make your heart flutter, hm~?

Huh? She rummaged through her pocket before pulling something out.

It was a black, rectangular, palm-sized object. There were square and triangle-shaped buttons on its side.

I know what it is! An IC Recorder—a device that can record people’s conversation!

Nah, what am I talking about~? Even if it’s Pansy, there’s no way she’ll bring such a thing here~

“It’s a good thing that I’m prepared for such an occasion.”

Ah, she pressed the triangle button to the side.

—I like…you…Pansy.

SHE REALLY RECORDED IT! WORSE, SHE ONLY RECORDED THE WORST PART!

Dammit…! I shoulda expected this!

“Give that thing to me—!”

“No. You’ve trampled upon my pure feelings with your insensitive action. I won’t accept anything less than this as a payback.”

Not only did she figure out my scheme, I even had to suffer to pay the price for it!

“I’m sure I can find a use for this later… Hehe…”

Seriously, how did things turn out this way?! Everything’s a mess now!

“Oh, right, Pansy-san. Can you brief me about the library’s activities later? The school told the student council to record each of the facilities’ activities.”

“I can. What do I need to tell you exactly?”

Hey, Pansy! Don’t just talk about something else with Cosmos! We aren’t done talking about the IC recorder!

“Just the monthly numbers of visitors, and what kind of books they borrow the most often. It’s like a survey, pretty much. Nothing too complicated.”

Haa… My approach ended with another stain on my dark history…

There’s no way I’ll tell Tanpopo about this—well, it’s not like I need to tell her everything anyway!

Besides, what matters isn’t the result but the process! She should understand that, right? Right?

*   *   *

“What the hell were you doing, you good-for-nothing?! You’re completely useless!”

You don’t understand what’s happening?

Well, when afternoon break came, I contacted Tanpopo and went to the newspaper club’s club room with Asunaro. I then told them everything… Well, not really, I omitted some parts, but due to that, I ended up sounding like a total idiot who spent the lunch break without doing anything. That was what got me scolded like this.

“B-but, I did my best… I-I even ended up with another stain because of it… mumble mumble…”

“Why are you whispering? I can’t hear you!”

“Well, regardless, you’re the one to blame here, Joro. Hehehe.”

You newspaper member over there, shut up! The reason you can laugh at me without a care is because you aren’t directly involved in this!

“Look, here! This plan has to succeed no matter what! Even if it means you have to sacrifice everything else in your life! You have to be prepared for that, Kisaragi-senpai!”

I’m prepared to sacrifice you to everyone and just get the hell out of this mess, ‘Tanpopo’.

“W-well, I’m prepared… kinda…”

“When you decide to do something, then give your all to it! That’s what it takes to be a true man, isn’t it?!”

Eh, who cares. I’m the kind of guy who’ll only do something properly when I’ve made the resolve to do it.

In other words, if I don’t make the resolve, then don’t expect me to be useful at all.

“Tanpopo.”

“Yes? What is it?”

She fiddled with her ribbon while pouting as she sent a glare at me.

Well, sorry for interrupting your outburst, but there’s something I want to say as well.

“We should probably take things a little slower. I think we’re rushing it quite a bit.”

“No way! The qualification for the summer tournament is going to start soon! I want this matter to be settled before then!”

“Either way, we still have time. In the meantime, we should make a proper plan.”

“The plan was for you to act as the rival, Kisaragi-senpai! It’s already a proper plan! Or do you have something else in mind?”

Proper plan my ass. Girl, if I can get back at you, I will, but whatever.

Anyway, I knew she’d ask that, and I already have an answer in mind.

“Why don’t we take Pansy to watch the baseball club practice after school? Sun-chan looks the coolest when he’s playing, no?”

In the first place, Pansy isn’t interested in Sun-chan at all, so before anything else, we should change that. The chances of that happening are slim, but hey, it won’t hurt to try.

“That’s not a bad idea, but Sanshokuin-senpai already has feelings for Oga-senpai. There’s no point in doing that.”

“…I see.”

You’re right for the wrong reason. Still, I just wanna do something about it first regardless.

“What if we try to make them go home together? I’ll bring Pansy, you’ll bring Sun-chan, we’ll get them together, then disappear and leave the rest to them.”

“Sure, that might bring them closer, but if we do that, they’ll find out that we’re trying to get them together! We need to make their relationship progression seem natural!”

The fact that you’re making me do all this already makes this whole thing unnatural.

“Then I got nothing… Actually, screw this. There’s no point in doing this when you’ll just reject all my ideas anyway.”

“D-don’t get so angry…”

This brat won’t listen to reason, but yields so easily to anger? Is she actually a scaredy cat?

“Um… I-I know you’ve tried your best trying to come up with something, and you’ve really done your best today, s-so… I’ve prepared a gift for you, Kisaragi-senpai…”

“A gift? What kind?”

“It’s the second photocard that I mentioned earlier today! Here you go!”

“O-okay…”

So this is gonna be the so-called ‘Tanpopo-chan slightly lewd nurse version’?

…Huh. She actually looks quite nice in a nurse outfit…

“Also one more thing! A special service!”

I doubt this’ll be anything big. At most it’ll just be a head stroke, a pat on the shoulder or—huh? Why is she clutching her skirt? Wait, why is she blushing?

“D-don’t… tell anyone about this… okay…?”

H-huh? S-she’s lifting her skirt up…!

H-hey, you idiot! W-wait!

I-if you lift your skirt any higher—!

See, this is what I was talking about! Your thighs! I can see them!

“Ta-dah! Too bad! I’m wearing a swimsuit below! Ehehehe!”

“…”

“I’m trying to be an idol, so I figured I’d wear a swimsuit, just like the gravure idols! Turns out we are going to water the field for our club activities today, so it’s perfect! …Huh? What’s wrong, Kisaragi-senpai? Your expression has been frozen for a while now.”

“…No. I guessed that something like this would happen.:

It was stupid of me to expect anything from her. Of course, I’d be happy to see her panties, but it turned out she was wearing a swimsuit!

…Which was good enough for me, haha!

Dammit, it was a swimsuit, but I’m still so happy!

I know I’m pathetic for being so happy over this, but dammit! Tomorrow! I’m gonna do my best tomorrow too!

*   *   *

After school. Today, I am not in the library or working on my part-time job. Instead, I’m in the shopping district four stations away from the usual station I visited. Pansy has an errand to run, and I don’t need to go to work today, so I originally planned to go straight back home, but then Mom completely ruined that plan with a mail that she sent me as soon as my class was over.

[Could you buy something for dinner~? It’s getting too stormy to go out~ ☆]

I checked the window to see the weather outside, but it was sunny without a speck of cloud. Maybe the downpour’s only near the house? Thinking as such, I sent her a mail that said, ‘Is it bad over there? It’s sunny over here,’ and…

[Yes, it’s crazy bad~! This LIVE DVD’s bad news~]⁷I don’t know how to translate this. Mom’s talking about Arashi as in the band, but Arashi also means storm, so yeah. I’m sorry if this sounds bad.

So it’s not an actual storm, but the boyband—the same one Mom’s strangely obsessed about? Dad said he has to attend a company dinner tonight, so he won’t be home. Maybe that’s why Mom skipped out on chores today and decided to engross herself in Johnny’s⁸Referring to Johnny and Associates, a talent agency for boybands, and the agency Arashi belongs to. instead? But that’s not all…

[Could you also get some for Sumireko-chan too~? Today’s our DVD watch party, you know~?]

[Please get me the butano shogayaki⁹It’s sliced pork that’s been marinated in ginger sauce and then stir-fried. from the shopping districts four stations away from our usual one. That one’s my favorite~♡]

I never imagined that a girl would ever tell me that her favorite food is butano shogayaki.

After gaining that unnecessary knowledge, I headed toward the shop she told me.

When I got there, there was already a long line in front of it. Guess this place’s pretty popular, huh?

Seriously, that girl. Making me wait in line like—*bzzt bzzt*

Huh? A phone call? Don’t tell me it’s actually her—Huh? It’s Asunaro…

“Hello? What’s wrong?”

{Joro~ I’m gonna send you a nice mail later, so make sure to read it, ‘kay~?}

“Why the hell are you calling me just to tell me that? I can read it whenever it—”

{Because I wanted to hear your voice, of course!}

“…Fine. I’ll read it when I receive it.”

Alright, turning off the call. That girl really is going all out this time, huh?

*   *   *

“Sorry to keep you waiting! May I have your order, please?”

An hour since I got in the line. After I made it to the very front of the line, the waitress asked me to have my order.

No, she isn’t a cute girl, but a regular middle-aged woman. Maybe because my ‘protagonist skill’ is still weak, I don’t get that privilege yet. Understandable. Still a bummer, though.

“Three shogayaki, please!”

“Okay! Please wait a moment!”

With a wide smile and experienced movements, the waitress quickly packed the shogayaki into containers.

“Sorry to keep you waiting! That will be 1,050 yen, please!”

“Okay. Here’s the—huh? Oh, crap!”

…Dammit, I don’t have enough money!

All I have is a single 1,000 yen bill. Mom asked me to buy dinner so suddenly, so I didn’t get the chance to ask for more…

Man, I shouldn’t have pre-charged my train card…

Now I’m short 50 yen…

“Is something the matter?”

Oh, no. The waitress’ giving me a questioning look.

Man, what do I do now? If I’m a good-looking guy, a smile and a wink while saying, ‘I’m sorry, I don’t have enough money, can you give me a discount?’ will get me out of this situation easily. But the problem is, I’m not a good-looking guy.

My only real option here is to get out of the line, get more money from the ATM and get back in the line. But the problem is, I don’t have the willpower to line up for another hour…

Haa… Guess I’ll just tell the waitress what’s going on and tell her that I can only afford two.

That means for dinner tonight, I’ll be just eating plain white rice. Dammit…! Why must you come to my house, Pansy—?!

“Um, if you don’t mind, you can take this.”

“…Huh?”

From behind me, a gentle voice of a guy entered my ears—woah! No way!

I glanced back and saw a guy with strangely intense eyes offering me a 50-yen coin. He looked to be about the same age as me, but he was wearing a uniform from a different school.

“You don’t have enough money, right?”

“U-um… y-yeah… i-is it really okay, though…?”

Oi, oi. Sure, it’s only 50 yen, but is it okay for you to give money to a stranger so casually like that?

Like, if I were in his shoes, I’d probably just think, ‘Who cares,’ and go on with my day.

“Of course it is. I still have plenty anyway. We should help those who are in trouble, no?”

“I-I see… T-thank you, you saved me…”

And so, I accepted the guy’s 50 yen with gratitude and paid for my order.

After I received my food, I left the line, and waited for the guy to finish ordering.

“Um… once again, you saved me. Thanks.”

“Hahaha! You’re welcome! It’s great that we got to buy some. The shogayaki here always sells out quickly.”

Kgh—! His radiant smile! Full of hope for the future! Too dazzling!

Not only that, this guy’s actually quite well-built. He’s also a little taller than me.

On top of that, his face is well-defined enough for me to call him good-looking, but he isn’t that good-looking that people will glare at him in jealousy.

From his approachable atmosphere, he’s probably more popular than your average guy.

“About the money… I’ll withdraw some from the ATM, so could you come with me for a bit?”

“Huh? You’re going all the way to the ATM?! Y-you don’t really need to… but thank you!”

I should be the one who’s thanking him, not him thanking me. What a modest guy.

After that, I went to the nearby convenience store with him to get 1,000 yen from the ATM.

Alright, now I only need to get some changes. What should I bu—ah, wait.

Sure, I borrowed 50 yen, but paying back just that much would be awkward, wouldn’t it? So…

“Sorry to keep you waiting. This is the money I owed, and this is a gift. Take it as a show of my gratitude.”

I approached the guy, handed him the money and a can of coffee.

Oh yeah, while I was buying the coffee, I also bought green chrysanthemum juice, my favorite drink.

The drink isn’t really popular—maybe because of its name—but I love its taste. It has the perfect mix of green chrysanthemum’s unique aroma and a touch of fruity flavor. In short, it’s just good.

I once recommended it to everyone in our library group, but their reaction was mild, and it didn’t seem to stick.

So it ended up being a drink that only I could really enjoy.

“You really don’t have to—huh? The drink you’re holding… is that green chrysanthemum juice?!”

“Hm? Ah, yeah. You recognized it?”

“Y-you, do you like that drink? It’s my favorite!”

“Huh? Really?”

“Yes! The unique green chrysanthemum’s aroma mixed really well with the fruity flavor!”

Woah, I can’t believe it! A fellow green chrysanthemum lover!

“Yes, yes! You got it! There’s just this balanced mix of bitterness and sweetness in it, and it’s just so good…! Ah, right! If you like it too, I’ll trade you the coffee for it! What do you think?”

“Really?! Uwaa! Thank you!! In that case, you don’t need to pay me the 50 yen! The drink costs more than that anyway, right?”

“Huh? …Are you sure?”

“Of course! Just treat this as a sign of friendship among the members of Green Chrysanthemum Juice League!”

“I-if you say so, alright!”

“Alright, I think it’s time for me to go now.”

“Okay! Once again, thanks for earlier! You really helped me back then!”

Man, I really want to talk to him more about the drink, but he seems to be busy. Seeing him walking away like this made me feel sad, somehow.

In the end, I didn’t do anything but watch him disappear slowly from my sight.

…By the way, have I met that guy somewhere before?

I don’t know, I just have this strong feeling of deja vu.

But this is the first time we talk, that I’m sure of. Maybe I just mistook him for—*bzzt bzzt*

Huh? Someone’s texting me. Is it Mom?

I guess I should run back home now.

[Joro-kun, I got tired waiting for you, so I’ll be resting in your room.]

Fuck run, I gotta sprint back home! My new collection is in danger!

Unfortunately, the world once again bared its cruelty at me. When I got home, Pansy told me in a surprisingly calm voice, “As a thanks for letting me use your room, I’ve cleaned it up.”

And just like that, my new collection vanished, never to be seen again.