Chapter 1

When I was younger, I died.

My mom killed me.

It was what they called ‘double suicide.’

My dad died early, so my only family member was my mom. My mom was young and she lived in solitude. I grew up not knowing any other blood-relatives besides my mom.

I barely remember my mom nowadays. But I remembered how beautiful and kind she was…and how incredibly frightening she was.

She used to hit me. She cried harder than I did whenever she did it, but she always hugged me when everything was over.

Her feelings toward me were probably something between love and hatred.

She never left me alone; she never left the house to wander off on her own. As far as I could remember, she didn’t have a job. She always stayed at home with me, as if she was afraid that I would suddenly disappear from her life.

Despite that, she kept hitting me. I didn’t know exactly why she hit me. Sometimes, she did it for no reason at all. Sometimes, she did it because I made small mistakes. The only thing that I could do was to endure the pain and apologize.

That was the kind of person my mom was. When she decided to kill herself, she naturally brought me with her.

It was midnight. She took me to a deserted path, lit by numerous streetlights. Her face was calm as she pulled me along. When I saw that face, I felt relieved, thinking that she wouldn’t hit me that night.

My seven-year-old self never expected that she would drag me into the river.

Fortunately, I lost my memories of that time. I didn’t remember the coldness of the water, the suffocating feeling of being drowned, or the fear I had during that time.

But I remembered, strangely enough…

That I woke up on a sky blue train after that, but my mom was nowhere in sight.

ED: samheart564