Chapter 4 – “I don’t want anyone else to know about my Otaku activites!”

Chapter 4: “I don’t want anyone else to know about my otaku activities.”

It was a late Saturday morning.

Eija and I had come to a Home Decors store to get furniture and daily necessities. It was a large store with a vast floor area. Apparently it was a store originating from Northern Europe.

“It’s a Swedish store, but they have branches in Finland too,” Eija said, walking through the store with a familiar air. Before coming here, I was afraid she might wander off if I took my eyes off her, but inside here, even if she got lost, I could probably find her quickly.

“The prices seem relatively reasonable… but even so, we can’t waste money. I’m receiving funds for tuition, but my otaku activities cost money too…”

Isn’t that just misappropriation? I thought, but decided to let it slide.

“I do admire those otaku rooms full of goods you often see online…”

Ah, those? The ones where posters, dakimakura sheets, and character curtains cover the walls and ceiling without a millimeter of space, or where figures are lined up in wall-spanning cases, or where plushies are stacked into pyramids?

“My parents would definitely be shocked.”

“Yes. That’s where I have to hold back firmly. A temporary guise to endure the world.”

“I’m not trying to recommend an otaku room, but do you really need to ‘endure the world’?”

Eija smiled slightly, looking a bit troubled.

“Yes. I don’t want anyone to know about my otaku activities.” Well, even now there are plenty of people who look at it with prejudiced eyes, and maybe even more so overseas.

Also, while I might not have prejudice against mainstream works, the tendency to dismiss things they’re not interested in or dislike—like cute girl anime or slightly erotic works— is just as deeply rooted.

“So, what should we look at first?”

My older sister took almost all the furniture when she moved out, so all I have now is basically a closet repurposed from a remodeled wardrobe.

“First, a bed and… a table and chairs, I suppose. I do like sleeping on a futon laid out on the floor—it feels very Japanese—but…”

For now, we decided to just look around and proceeded through the store. There seemed to be a general route laid out, so we followed it in order. But the path twisted and turned complexly left and right. Even though I’m not Eija, my sense of direction was starting to go haywire.

However, following the route, we safely arrived at the section with beds lined up. Not just beds, but displays coordinating entire rooms were arranged.

“This makes it easier to visualize than just seeing a bed by itself.” Though making such a stylish room looks pretty tough.

“Wow, it’s cute…”

A bedroom unified with plushies and girly interior decor. When Eija stood inside it, she blended in as if it were her own room.

“What do you think, Ouga? Is it a bit too cute?”

“I think it suits you.”

Eija moved to the neighboring bedroom display. It was a simple, cool, yet warm-feeling room that looked very much like Scandinavian furniture.

“This one is simple. Do you prefer this one, Ouga?”

If it were for my own room, I’d choose this one… but we’re talking about Eija’s room right now, right?

“I think you should prioritize your own preferences over my opinion.” The expression vanished from Eija’s face, and her gaze dropped to the floor slightly ahead.

“…I’m sorry. Somehow, with things like this… I have no confidence in my own taste… I lack decisiveness… I can’t decide.”

“N-no, you don’t need to take it so seriously! Today, it’s fine to just look! I’ll give my input as much as I can too!”

“Y-yes… thank you.”

It seemed we’d avoided her slipping into a depressive mode… but I couldn’t let my guard down. I also entered one of the coordinated room displays and pressed down on the bed with my hand to check the feel. Not bad.

“Setting aside the overall room image, if it’s just the bed—ah, but this one’s big.”

“It looks like a double bed.”

Double…

“That’s for two people to—”

My eyes met Eija’s with a snap.

“Ah…”

“Ha…”

We stared at each other, both caught off guard.

Crap!! This is super embarrassing. My heart’s pounding like crazy! And, Eija’s skin is totally red too!?

“Um… is there anything you’d like to know about this item?”

“Eh!”

Startled, I turned around to find a store clerk, a young woman, standing there with a cheerful smile.

“This one is perfect for married couples—. It’s just the right size for two people to sleep in.”

“Ah, r-really, is that so?”

Then, it has nothing to do with us! Why is she giving us a sales pitch?

I glanced at Eija; she had, predictably, entered her Ice Elf mode. Looks like I have to handle this. Though, it should be fine—I just need to say we’re just looking, thanks.

“You look so young—? Newlyweds?”

“Huh?!”

No, no, we’re high school students!

“N-no, that’s not—”

“Ah, planning to get married?”

“No, no, we’re not that age yet—”

“Ah—, so you’re a couple? Are you just starting to live together? That’s so nice—!”

This clerk, her pressure is insane! She just keeps piling it on! I heard this store had a hands-off style with customers, but this person is aggressive!

“Well then, if you have any questions, just call out—” And with that, she simply walked away.

“You okay? Eija.”

“Ha, hah…”

She was fanning her face with her palm as if to cool down.

“Um, I’d like to calm down a bit, so I’ll go to the restroom…”

“O-okay.”

There was a restroom sign in the aisle. Eija hurriedly headed in the direction of the arrow.

Man—, I was super embarrassed too. Mistaking us for newlyweds? Seriously.

But well… it doesn’t feel bad.

That utterly beautiful girl, like an elf princess, being my wife… that’s pure fantasy.

Her inner self is simple and nice. Unlike her appearance, she’s very approachable, you could say. I feel like our personalities match, and our hobbies align completely. She has her hopeless points too… like zero social skills, a paper-thin mental state, and being directionally challenged.

But, I find those parts cute too. More than anything, the fact that there’s room for me to be of help to her—that makes me happy.

I want to support Eija. Not with ulterior motives… well, maybe a little, but I want to be of help to her.

To do that, I want to know more about Eija.

Also, I’m curious why she came all the way to Japan for her otaku activities. And why she wants to keep being an otaku a secret.

If we get closer and her trust in me increases, maybe she’ll tell me.

*Pon*

Someone tapped my shoulder.

Sudden physical contact, did Eija suddenly close the distance?

“Ah, that was fast—”

“Coincidence. Tsukikun.”

The Class Rep—

Tsukikun!?

Standing there was the Class Rep of all Class Reps. Hanamiya Hinata.

“O-oh… what a coincidence.”

Why here, of all places?! And of all people to run into, the class’s ace!?

“You seemed to mistake me for someone else. Are you here with someone?”

“N-no, of course not! I’m alone!”

Crap. Did I deny it too strongly? Hanamiya is looking at me suspiciously.

“Is that so? I thought for sure you came with Eija-san.”

She read my mind!

“No, why would you think that? That’s as far-fetched as blaming every incident on an evil organization.”

“…I think Tsukikun’s analogy is more far-fetched.” Hanamiya looked at me with probing eyes.

“But, she just arrived from Finland, right? If she came to buy interior goods or daily necessities, coming to a Scandinavian store is natural. And if your parents are acquaintances, it wouldn’t be strange for her to rely on you.”

I see, that’s how I should have answered! It’s too late now.

“Ah, I’m not doubting you, okay? It’d be weird to hide it anyway. Unless there’s something you feel guilty about.”

Oh no… because I tried to hide it clumsily, hasn’t it turned into a situation where she’s probing where it doesn’t even hurt?

“T-that aside, Hanamiya, what about you? Did you come with friends?”

“Me? I like browsing stores. No particular purpose, but if I find something I like, I might buy it.”

A flawless, perfect answer! But I succeeded in changing the subject.

“Let’s get back on topic.”

Don’t go back! Don’t nullify my efforts!

“I’ve been thinking for a while now, Tsukikun, you’re always watching Eija-san, aren’t you?”

“—!?”

What observational skills. Are you a detective or something?

“Do you like Eija-san?” “S—!!”

No, no, what are you saying? Such an accusation…

…isn’t entirely wrong.

She’s that much of a beauty, right? It’d be normal for any guy, I guess.

But, does that mean I like her?

Admiring her visuals—isn’t that the same as liking a character’s design?

Whether I answer Hanamiya or not, I thought I’d have an answer ready in my heart.

But… I don’t know.

“…What’s with you, Hanamiya? Are you maybe conscious of me?” I tried saying it jokingly, as a desperate measure. It was out of character, but I needed a way to deflect the conversation away.

“Haha, you’re always joking~.”

She smoothly dodged with her evasion skill. Well, if she’d taken it seriously, I’d be the embarrassed one.

“What I’m interested in isn’t Tsukikun, it’s Eija-san, you know?”

I see— wait, what?

“Um… is that because a teacher asked you to?” Hanamiya paused for a breath. Then her eyes widened.

“Because she’s cute!!”

Huh?

“Because she’s insanely cute, isn’t she?! Is she even really human?! She’s definitely an elf in disguise or something—”

“She’s a fairy, right?”

Ha… Hanamiya?

“I want to get close to her! I want us to message each other on social media, go out together, go on dates, hold hands, and… ‘connect’ in all sorts of places!”

What do you mean, “all sorts of places”?!

“Oh, and I want to dress her up! In super cute clothes! And maybe some lewd ones too! Then we’ll have a private photo shoot for just the two of us!”

“’You’re so cute~ Oh, let’s try taking one layer off. Hmm, I think you might be even cuter without that—wow, you look best in your birthday suit!’ Wouldn’t that be a wonderful girls’ night out?”

“That’s a crime!!”

“What are you blathering about? It’s not a crime if there’s mutual consent.”

Is this really the Class Rep? The one the teachers trust so much, the flawless honor student?

Did an alien replace her? What’s with this sudden character shift?!

Is this Yuri manga? Was I just a side character for girls’ love? Is she some kind of middle-aged-man-soul trapped in a Yuri princess?!

“Wait a second… so, the reason you’re being nice to Eija is—”

“Eighty percent of my kindness is made of ulterior motives.”

“That’s horrible! Only twenty percent is pure!”

“The remaining twenty percent is lust.”

“So there was no kindness at all!!”

Did I just witness her true nature? No, it’s… it’s a joke, right? But would the Hanamiya make a joke like that? I can’t believe it… If the Hanamiya fanboys found out about this, they’d writhe in despair. Please, don’t tell me you still have two transformations left!!

“By the way, I still have five transformations left.”

“That’s more than I imagined! Wait, can you read my mind?! Are you a Level 5 esper?!”

“Well, Aoi-kun, you’re an otaku, aren’t you? It’s easy to predict your thought patterns.”

Wha—?

“Hehe, I think I’ll stop my jokes here for today.”

“Huh? What?”

Wearing a graceful smile, Hanamiya returned to her usual “Class Rep” face.

“Was that… a joke?”

“Yes. Were you surprised?”

“Of course I was. Man, you scared me…”

…Really?

Looking at Hanamiya’s gentle, smiling face, I started to feel like there were countless other faces hidden beneath it.

Honestly, I feel like I can’t believe anything about her anymore.

“Well then, see you at school on Monday.”

With that, Hanamiya walked away.

After that, I spent forever running around the store looking for Eija, who still hadn’t come back.

***

“I am so sorry…”

Eija apologized, her shoulders slumped in dejection.

After safely finding her, we took a break at a cafe inside the store. I was pretty wiped out myself.

It felt like Hanamiya had drained my mental energy while Eija had drained my physical energy. Actually, why was I running around? I could have just called or messaged her—there was a time when I, too, believed in such simple logic.

“I lost track of where I was… Even though I acted like I was used to this store, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

People with no sense of direction can’t explain where they are in the first place. I thought about requesting a store announcement, but it would have been embarrassing if an acquaintance heard it. Hanamiya might have still been in the store, and who knows if other people I knew were around.

So, I had no choice but to search the store manually. And because Eija kept moving while I was looking for her, we ended up just both walking around in circles.

“Anyway, let’s eat and calm down.”

We bought coffee, a cinnamon roll, and some meatballs.

“These are staple menu items in Finland, too.”

“Huh… I see. They’re pretty popular in Japan, too.”

Eija bit into her cinnamon roll with a look of relief and took a sip of her coffee.

“You’re okay with coffee? Quite a few girls in our class don’t like it.”

“Finland has the highest coffee consumption per capita in the world,” she said, proudly sharing that bit of trivia.

“And then there’s… salmon, herring, and pies.”

I see. Her diet isn’t that different from a Japanese one. Maybe our palates are similar.

“Oh, and reindeer.”

Sorry, what?

“Oh, I think Japan also has venison when it comes to wild game… so maybe it’s similar?”

Food is important. If we can find common ground here, our mutual understanding will skyrocket. Or so I hope. Between her reserved, shy personality and the food, maybe Japan and Finland are surprisingly alike.

“Ah! I almost forgot.”

Eija pulled a small paper box out of her bag. She placed a small black pellet from it onto her palm and held it out to me.

“It is Salmiakki.”

TLN: Salty liquorice.

Salmi… what?

I picked up the black pellet from her palm. I was more distracted by the fact that I’d touched her hand than by the mystery object itself.

“It is a candy that’s popular in Finland.”

“Candy?”

Eija put a pellet onto her own palm and popped it into her mouth without hesitation.

“Yes. It is very delicious.”

Judging by the color, I imagined a cola flavor. Or, following the previous conversation, maybe coffee.

Following Eija’s lead, I put the Salmiakki into my mouth.

“!?!?!!?!”

Wha—what the hell is thissssssssss!!

An intense stimulus hit my tongue.

And it wasn’t sweet. If anything, it was salty.

Is… is this actually food?!

It had a powerful, unique aroma. If I had to describe it… it was like cilantro. It felt like I was eating raw ethnic seasonings from Southeast Asia.

I wondered if it was a prank, but Eija was smiling happily as she reached for a second piece.

“Would you like more?”

“No… I think I’ll pass for today.”

Even between similar people, there are things they will never understand.

It was an afternoon where I learned that bitter truth.

***

~Another Restless Night~

Eija’s Perspective*

Today, Ouga and I went shopping together.

We bought a bed, a desk, a chair, and a bookshelf. I’m so happy we could go shopping together. I’m also happy that we promised to assemble them together once they’re delivered.

Ouga said it’s his first time piecing together furniture, too.

Another “first experience” for us to share.

I’m so excited.

But, I’m also a little… restless.

When I see Ouga getting along with friends other than me.

That person he was talking to so happily in the classroom the other day… Hanamiya-san.

I wonder why she was there?

When I was looking at beds with Ouga, the clerk mistook us for a… a married couple. I was so embarrassed that I ended up running away to the restroom.

I got lost after that, but… the truth is, I actually managed to find my way back once without getting lost.

I was so proud of myself, and I wanted Ouga to praise me.

But when I got there, Ouga was talking to Hanamiya-san.

They looked like they were getting along so well. They looked like they were having fun.

It’s not strange at all, since they’re in the same class. Meeting there was probably just a coincidence. She must have come to look at furniture or home decor.

I know that. And yet, for some reason, my chest felt tight.

I felt like I shouldn’t interrupt them, so I left. I thought I’d walk around the store to kill time… and that’s when I really got lost.

But Ouga found me.

It had to be Ouga.

Because Ouga always guides me when I’m lost.

***

Last night, Eija and I checked out the new anime lineup for the season.

Since I’ve stopped keeping up with anime, I felt like Rip Van Winkle. When I checked a summary site for the new shows…

TLN: The Rip Van Winkle effect can be summarized as the shock of coming back to something and noticing how it has significantly changed.

“There are way too many new shows…”

There were nearly fifty titles listed.

“First, we should watch up to episode three—no, watch episode one and then decide… still, we can’t do them all. Let’s narrow it down to less than half.”

“You’re right… I had no idea there were this many anime…”

The two of us browsed the official websites and discussed what to watch. Even after narrowing it down as much as possible, we still had over twenty.

Considering we also play games and read books, finding the time is going to be tough.

Despite worrying about my schedule for otaku activities, today I decided to take Eija somewhere completely unrelated to all that.

“Is it here?!”

Eija’s eyes sparkled as she stared at the entrance of the facility.

After switching trains, we arrived at a place that used to be an amusement park. Nearby was a public bathhouse.

But it wasn’t just any bathhouse. It was a massive facility with numerous baths, restaurants, relaxation areas, and even a mixed-gender zone where swimsuits are required.

And most importantly—

“They have a Finnish-style sauna here—”

Before I could even finish, Eija had zoomed to the entrance. Holy crap! She’s moving three times faster than normal!! She’s like the Red Comet! Even if her clothes are white!

“H-Hurry, let’s go, hurry!”

I could practically see her ears perking up and her tail wagging furiously. I feel like Eija has a bit of a puppy-like side to her.

I followed the “barking” Eija inside. After checking in, we split up to change into our swimsuits in the lockers. Then, it was time for the mixed-gender area.

Wow, it’s huge.

It’s a bath, so swimming is prohibited, but it’s basically the size of a pool. There are waterfall showers and jacuzzis along the edges, and bright sunlight streams in through a massive glass wall. Beyond it lies a beautiful green garden.

It’s more than just relaxing. It’s super refreshing. It feels like a small resort hotel.

I came here to fulfill Eija’s wish to visit a sauna. She’d been chanting “Sauna~” like a magic spell more and more every day.

Plus, I’d acquired some very important information. On the internet.

Apparently! Even the most taciturn Finns become talkative in a sauna!!

Whaat?!

…Well, it’s internet info with no backing, so I should take it with a grain of salt. Even more unbelievable, apparently some people even hold important business meetings in the sauna.

For real?

If it’s true, maybe Eija will tell me more about herself—

“S-Sorry to keep you waiting…”

Eija’s voice sounded a bit shy.

“No, not at all—”

Eija, in a white bikini, suddenly filled my vision.

I have never regretted not being mentally prepared more than in this moment.

Between her white skin and the white bikini, my brain went completely blank.

The shock in the changing room the other day was only for a split second. But this was different.

It wasn’t a ruffled top, a skirt-type bottom, or a pareo.

It was a fairly bold, revealing cut that put her body lines on full display. Yet, it was the perfect line that didn’t cross into being trashy. The way the swimsuit pressed into her skin perfectly accentuated the softness of her body.

It felt like a “Limited Time Special Illustration” version. If I wasn’t careful, this might actually be lewder than underwear. My brain froze at the fact that I was allowed to appreciate such a sight in a public space.

It was a sexiness that was the polar opposite of her usual pure vibe. She’s reserved and shy, yet she went all-out with this choice. Based on her personality, I totally expected her to pick a swimsuit that looked more like regular clothes… why is she only bold in the weirdest ways?!

…Not that I’m complaining. Definitely not.

“Um… is something… wrong?”

Eija asked, looking a bit bewildered.

Crap, was I staring too much?

“Ah, s-sorry! My bad.”

It’s not a crime to look, but staring a hole through her is definitely creepy.

“Oh, no… It’s just that you were gazing so intently, I thought maybe I looked strange by Japanese standards…”

“No, not at all. In fact, it’s good! Really good!”

“D-do you really think so?”

Eija looked away, blushing. Judging by the way the corners of her mouth were curling up, she didn’t seem to mind the compliment.

“I thought it would be best to wear something simple, without unnecessary frills, for the sauna.”

Whoa, is that the ‘Style’ of saunas?

“W-well then… shall we get started?”

“Yes! Let’s!!”

We passed through the pool area and stepped outside. It was a bit early in the year to call it early summer, so being in nothing but swimwear was admittedly chilly. I wanted to get inside somewhere fast. As if answering my prayer, a mountain cottage-style building was waiting for us.

“Wow, it really looks like a sauna in a Finnish forest.”

With the lush, wooded garden stretching out behind it, it certainly had that vibe. We stepped into the secluded little cabin.

Hot!

The moment we entered, a fierce wave of heat struck my face.

One corner was railed off, with stones being heated inside. The seating was arranged in three tiers like stairs, making me hesitate on where to sit.

“It gets hotter the higher you go, so beginners should start on the bottom tier,” Eija said, spreading a towel on the lowest bench and sitting down. I followed suit and took a seat beside her. It did feel a bit easier to breathe than when I was standing.

I glanced at the thermometer on the wall… 90 degrees Celsius?

No way, a normal person would die.

“Let’s step outside after about ten minutes.”

Ten minutes?! Can I even last that long…?

I felt nothing but anxiety. Eija, however, already had beads of sweat forming, yet she looked quite pleased.

If it means seeing this smile, I can endure it.

Telling myself that, I suffered through the longest ten minutes of my life.

“Shall we head out now?”

Finally, I had a chance to be liberated from the scorching hell! I practically bolted out of the sauna behind Eija. The sense of freedom the moment I hit the outside air was incomparable.

“Now, we should take a shower to wash off the sweat.”

I was definitely drenched. Eija was the same. I guess even she wasn’t immune to the heat.

Even so… Eija, drenched in sweat with her skin glistening… how should I put it… she looks incredibly… suggestive…

“Is something the matter?”

“Ah, no, nothing!”

There was a shower booth right outside the sauna. After showering next to her, we headed back to the indoor area where the pool was.

“Next is the cold plunge. At a forest sauna in Finland, people sometimes jump straight into a lake. This seems to be the equivalent.”

“Cold water…”

The cool sound of it was tempting. Especially now, after being steamed alive in the sauna.

“Alright, let’s go. It looks refreshing.”

But the moment I actually dipped in, I realized my expectations had been off the mark.

IT’S FREEZING!

This was a serious cold plunge. Dead serious. I feel like my heart’s gonna stop!

“This feels wonderful, doesn’t it?”

Eija looked as if she was doing perfectly fine.

Are you kidding me? Is she actually an ice elf after all?

“How… h-how long… are you supposed to stay here?”

“Mmm… about a minute should be fine.”

Never in my life had a single minute felt so long.

As we climbed out of the cold bath, Eija spoke up as if she’d just remembered something.

“Oh, if the cold bath is too much at first, just splashing cold water on your arms and legs is fine too.”

Now you tell me?!

I swallowed my complaint and headed back into that scorching torture chamber. It was a stylish mountain hut, but to me, it now looked like the Brazen Bull of Phalaris.

***

Yet, strangely enough, as we repeated the cycle of sauna and cold bath, I started to feel… good? I guess this is what they call “the flow.” It felt as though both my body and mind were loosening up. In this state, I could see why someone would let their guard down.

During our third round in the sauna, luckily, it was just the two of us.

I figured Eija might finally open up about what was on her mind—

“—and that’s why there are countless amazing things about Soranokisaki! The story of each character carrying their own burdens and overcoming them is so moving! And! And! The live scenes are the best! They’re supposed to be singing in their school uniforms, but the sets and costumes change—it’s the kind of musical expression you can only do in anime. Oh, speaking of live scenes, episode seven is just… pure teetee. Singing in that Italian-style cityscape is so romantic—”

She was off on an endless otaku rant!

“Y-yeah… that place is actually a commercial facility in Odaiba. Like an outlet mall.”

“What! Does it really exist?!”

She leaned in close. It seemed the sauna had melted away Eija’s sense of personal space as well.

“Y-yeah… want to go there sometime?”

“I want to go! That would be a real ‘holy land pilgrimage,’ wouldn’t it?”

Breathing heavily with excitement, Eija pumped her fist.

“Let’s go on our day off next week. You came all the way to Japan, after all.”

“You’re right. Really… I’m so glad I came to Japan. Being able to talk about the things I love like this feels like a dream.”

She gazed into space with a truly dreamlike expression.

“Did you not have anyone to talk to in Finland?”

“Well… I’m not very good at talking to people. That’s why Ouga is special.”

Special. What a beautiful ring that word had. Hearing that would make anyone feel self-conscious, even if they weren’t in a classic lit club.

But why did Eija think I was so special?

It’s not like I’m exceptionally handsome. I’d stepped away from being an otaku for the last few years, so I wasn’t even a hardcore fan anymore.

In the first place, I was a guy who failed to be an otaku.

“Do you not have any otaku friends, Ouga? Maybe you don’t have time to hang out with them because you’re spending time with me…?”

“Nah… I don’t have any otaku friends.”

My voice and expression stiffened in spite of my best efforts to hide it.

“Ouga?”

“Actually, right after I started middle school, I was betrayed by my otaku friends. No, that’s not it. I was just delusional. All along—”

That was three years ago.

I originally became an otaku under the influence of my sister, who was seven years older than me. She was a hardcore geek who consumed a massive amount of content from the past to the present. I grew up reading and watching the same things. Because of that, I boasted an overwhelming amount of knowledge compared to kids my age.

Back then, I was proud of it. People were happy when I introduced them to interesting works or shared trivia and facts related to them.

I was having fun, and they were having fun. That made me happy.

However, right after I entered middle school…

I was in the same class as an otaku friend from elementary school. He liked Gundom.

Having heard rumors about a new series, I wanted to tell him right away.

He was talking to some new friends in the corner of the classroom. I went up to him and brought it up. However, he gave me a look of pure disgust.

“Obviously I’m not actually interested in that crap. How long are you gonna stay delusional? You’re creepy. Stay away from me.”

At first, I didn’t understand what he was saying.

“Huh? I thought you liked Gundom… we used to talk about it all the time.”

“You were just annoying, so I played along to keep you quiet.”

What…?

I felt like I’d been warped into a parallel world, or like my neighbor had been replaced by an alien.

My heart was pounding.

My whole body felt cold.

No, that’s impossible. Wait.

Then, was all of that a lie?

Then, what was everything I’d talked about until now?

“Everyone was laughing at you behind your back, you know?”

That’s a lie.

I’ve never been laughed at.

My ears were ringing. My childhood friend’s voice sounded like it was coming from far away.

“They’re all talking about it on the class’s secret message board.”

Something like that—

“You’re the only one who doesn’t know.”

When I got home, I looked at the website I’d been told about, all by myself.

So it was true.

The person I thought was an otaku friend wasn’t an otaku.

The person I thought liked anime didn’t particularly like it.

I thought that we all had fun together, but they weren’t having fun at all.

I thought I was somewhat popular in class, but I was actually being mocked behind my back.

On that secret board, everything I’d talked about that day was written down along with words of ridicule.

“—That was such a shock that I walked away from otaku culture.”

I was supposed to be hearing Eija’s inner thoughts, but I ended up vomiting out the dark darkness inside myself.

“Since then, I’ve avoided getting deeply into anything. I worry about what people say, how they look at me. Because I’m scared of being badmouthed, I just conform to those around me, timidly choosing only the things that everyone else can empathize with.”

Why am I exposing such an embarrassing secret? What am I trying to achieve?

“I won’t be accepted as I am. So I had no choice but to change. But… quitting anime over something like that means it wasn’t ‘true’ love. If it were real, I should have stuck to my guns no matter what anyone said. So I… I wasn’t a real otaku. I couldn’t become one.”

She’s just going to hate me. Disclosing my most shameful “black history” to the person I least want to be hated by… am I a masochist?

“But I don’t have anything else I can be interested in instead. Who even am I? If I’m not an otaku, what the hell am I? What do I like, what do I want to do? I have no idea.”

“……”

Eija listened to my story in silence. Maybe she was appalled.

I mean, it makes sense. Normally, anyone would be fed up hearing a story like this. Especially someone who came all the way to Japan specifically for otaku activities.

A person like Eija is the real deal.

Preparing for the worst, I timidly turned my face toward her.

“……?”

She was crying.

Tears were overflowing uncontrollably from Eija’s eyes.

“Ouga… you poor thing.”

“Eh…”

I was happy she felt that way, but Eija crying was a much bigger problem.

Does this mean I’m the one who made her cry?

“How could people do such cruel things…? It’s unforgivable. I’ve never felt this much anger before.”

“S-sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad too, Eija…”

“Ouga, you have absolutely no reason to apologize!”

“?!”

I was overwhelmed by the sheer force of her anger.

I had no idea Eija had such intense emotions inside her.

“To think you went through something so painful… and yet I…”

“E-Eija?”

Eija wiped her tears and stared straight at me.

“Having the things you love denied is sad… especially when it’s someone close to you. It’s truly painful.”

“Did something… happen to you too, Eija?”

Eija took her eyes off me and stared straight ahead.

“I… ran away from my parents.”

***

~Flashback~

Eija’s Perspective*

I love Japanese anime and manga.

I’m glad my home is in Helsinki. In this city, there are many shops where you can get Japanese books. I look forward to saving up my allowance and buying various books!

I also love looking at manga and anime on my smartphone. I don’t have much money, but there is content you can watch for free. I watch those and imagine what the rest is like in my head.

When I get home today, I plan to reread my anime magazines. I’ve already looked at them dozens of times.

But I still want to look again. And the manga, too.

The latest volume is already out, but I have to hold back until I get next month’s allowance.

“I’m home—”

Entering the house, I head straight for my room. I drop my bag and dive toward the bookshelf.

Huh?

It’s gone.

My precious treasures. I wonder where they went?

“Eija, come here.” My mom called me.

Oh. Maybe Mama knows.

I rushed into the living room, only to find Papa there—he was usually away at work.

Maybe it was his day off.

“Eija, I heard from your mother that you’ve been reading Japanese anime magazines and manga.”

“Yeah! They’re really fun to read.”

Papa’s atmosphere was different than usual. He was normally much gentler.

I looked at Mama, but she had a troubled expression on her face.

“Listen, Eija. Those things are harmful.”

“Huh?”

“Of course, there are wonderful things among Japanese anime and manga. But… there are far more bad things than good things.”

What was Papa talking about?

“That’s not true. Everything I’ve read is fun.”

“I thought as much…”

Papa let out a deep sigh. Ah—there, at Papa’s feet, my books were piled up. He opened the anime magazine that sat on top right in front of me.

It was a special one, even among my treasures.

“There are many bad things mixed in here. Can you tell the difference, Eija?”

“I… I can tell?”

“Is that so? Then, which of the things in this magazine are bad?”

“But…”

“If you can’t tell, then you aren’t allowed to look at these things anymore.”

I caught my breath.

“Could you point to the things that aren’t good, the things that shouldn’t be there?”

My hands shook.

What is this?

What are they making me do?

Everything here is something I love. There isn’t a single “bad” thing.

But if I don’t call something bad, I won’t be able to watch anime or read manga anymore.

I have to point at something.

The pages *flip-flip-flipped* past.

A cold sweat ran down my entire body.

“…This one.”

It was a manga with a dark atmosphere that had been turned into an anime. The one where the protagonist is a villain who kills people using a magic notebook. But it was so interesting. It was just a story; it wasn’t like someone was actually killing someone else. So I didn’t understand what was bad about it.

My chest ached.

I told a lie.

Even though I didn’t think it was bad, even though I liked it, I lied and said it was no good.

But if I didn’t make something out to be bad, I would never be able to see the things I love ever again.

I’m sorry.

Even though you did nothing wrong, I made you a sacrifice.

Papa smiled and said, sounding somewhat proud:

“See? You really don’t understand, do you?”

“…Eh?”

Startled, I stared intently at Papa’s face.

“Listen. That’s not the only bad work. This one is too, and this one.”

As Papa flipped the pages, he pointed at things one after another.

“This one! And this! This one is the worst!”

My legs trembled.

I was scared.

He flipped the pages aggressively. His fingers tore the pages.

“Ah!”

“I cannot permit such things to be within my child’s reach! What do they intend to drill into my precious daughter’s head?!”

Papa began to rip the pages out. My precious treasures.

The blood drained from my face.

“S-stop! Please! That’s my—”

“Eija!!”

With that one word from Papa, my body froze. My whole frame shook.

Rattle-rattle.

“Dear… you’re going a bit too far.”

Mama—mama, are you going to take my side?

“There is no such thing as ‘too far’ when it comes to protecting a child. Especially now, during such an important period. What do you intend to do if she’s implanted with strange knowledge and, five or ten years from now, Eija becomes a weird, anti-social woman?”

Mama fell silent after that. She only stared at me with a face full of pity.

“I am going to dispose of all these books.”

“N… no.”

Saying that was the best resistance I could muster.

“Look at that. You’ve already under bad influence, talking back to your parents.”

I clenched my small fists.

—Hang in there, Eija.

I remembered the words of a hero.

The things that are truly important, no one can take away.

Papa would never change his mind. If that was the case, I wouldn’t talk back; I would protect what was left.

My smartphone.

I had images saved in there. And if I connected to the internet, I could watch things again. It’s okay, it’s okay. Not everything has been taken from me.

“Mama, bring me Eija’s smartphone.”

I thought my heart would stop.

The color drained from my face.

Mama left the room.

No, stop.

Please… stop!

I prayed that Mama wouldn’t be able to find the smartphone.

However, the smartphone I had kept in my bag was right there in Mama’s hand when she returned.

It was handed over to Papa.

As Papa scrolled through the screen, his face grew more and more grim.

“This is hideous. There are even lewd images. The person drawing these pictures needs to be socially denounced.”

Papa turned the smartphone toward me. It was a scene from an anime. A screenshot of girls in swimsuits. It was a fun story from an anime for girls where they all went to the beach together. A story about a girl opening up and becoming friends with someone she hadn’t gotten along with.

What was lewd about such a wonderful story?

Because of the swimsuits? But… everyone wears those when they swim or go into a sauna.

Why was it okay in real life but considered weird in manga?

“I’m deleting all the images in here.”

“Noooo!”

I reached for the smartphone in Papa’s hand. But Papa had stood up, and no matter how much I jumped, I couldn’t reach it.

“Stop! Please! I’ll be a good girl!!”

“Good girls don’t look at things like this.”

Tears spilled over.

Papa’s fingertips erased my precious things, one by one.

“Stop it… please stop…”

Even though I knew it was useless, I kept jumping.

I couldn’t see anything through the tears.

My legs stopped listening to me, and I collapsed, sitting on the floor.

“I’ll make the access restrictions even stricter from now on. And I’ll check your data every day.”

I heard Papa’s voice from somewhere far away.

I remembered the words of a hero.

No matter who they are, they cannot control what is inside your heart.

If you keep believing, your dreams will come true one day.

Like chanting a defensive spell, I repeated it in my heart.

Since then, I began to build walls around my heart, around the space surrounding me.

I became more and more reserved, hiding my true thoughts from others.

***

~The Night of Resolve~

Eija’s Perspective*

I stared up at the ceiling I’d grown so familiar with and lay down on my futon.

Recalling today’s events, my cheeks naturally relaxed.

I’ll probably never forget it for the rest of my life.

Going to the sauna with Ouga. And opening up to each other about our worries.

The fact that he got to know me, and even so, said he would continue to support me just the same—that made me so happy.

Even if I mess up, Ouga will surely forgive me. He accepts the “no-good” me.

It was thanks to Ouga that a timid person like me could find the courage to study abroad.

He’s my hero.

That’s why—

I was shocked by the story he told me.

I had selfishly assumed that heroes were invincible. I had naively believed they could bounce back from any pinch without a care.

Why couldn’t I have been by his side when Ouga was going through such a hard time?

I wanted to be of help.

Maybe someone like me wouldn’t be of any help at all, but…

No. That’s not it.

I have to become someone who can help.

I have to change as well.

So that I can be a source of strength for Ouga, just like how he was to me.

To do that, I first have to become able to do everything on my own.

Otherwise, Ouga will end up doing nothing but taking care of me. He won’t be able to do the things he wants to do.

I wanted to do everything together, but that wasn’t right.

I’m nervous.

I’m scared.

I wanted to experience it for the first time together with him.

But… I’ll do it alone.

Because that is what I can do for Ouga.

***

[The Slacker Goddess’s Game Stream Clips] 【Gaia Amaki / Gojikuji Live】

“Worship me! It’s the fourth-gen Gojikuji Live member, the Goddess of the Earth, Gaia Amaki! How’s everyone doing today?”

Golden Wind: [Gaia-sama!]

Low-level Believer: [G’day]

Handsome Leader: [Did you come to see me?]

“Today I’m playing a game, it’s ‘Inu-Musume’! Which character should I go with? Hmm, maybe this one. The Siberian Husky girl. In the anime, she was just like a gluttonous background mob, but she really had a presence, didn’t she? She’s even the lead in the spin-off manga!”

Elvanza: [That one was intense]

Sakura: [I wanna read it]

Tekeli-li: […]

“Alright, Husky it is. Now, how should I handle the parents? This is where my skill as a breeder is put to the test. Wait, does this mean kids are being made between two girls? Isn’t that hot?”

Doldol: [It’s Yuri]

Cream Soda: [Yuri on Yuri]

“This concept is god-tier. Even if it was a bitter choice they were forced into because there are only female characters, it’s god-tier regardless. Should I pick this girl for a parent? Or if I’m choosing by chest size, maybe this one? This brown-haired twin-tail with a tiara, snaggletooth, and huge boobs—it’s got so many tropes, it’s great! Oh, and I like the white-haired girl with glasses; she’s sexy too.”

“Especially after the race is over, the way her boobs bounce while she’s cooling down is the best. The way her boobs bounce is the best. That part was important, so I said it twice.”

Horny Bunny: [The Maestro of Milks]

General Affairs: [To put it mildly, you’re a pervert]

Elvanza: [Pervert pervert pervert pervert pervert]

R’lyeh: [Your shoulders will get stiff and they’ll sag]

Horny Bunny: [The Goddess’s breasts have a nice bounce too]

Kaiser: [True!]

Horny Bunny: [Give me those breasts]

“I’m not giving them to you!! The Siberian Husky girl also has white—well, silver hair, and Goddess loves girls like that. Plus, she comes from a backwater country where she was looked down upon for her low skill and rises up through the Central Country filled with powerhouses—that’s completely the classic Shonen manga path! There’s no way I wouldn’t love that!!”

Sakura: [I get it]

Doldol: [Total mood]

“So, I want to make sure I can get an S-rank today! Ah, I wonder if they’ll implement a system where chest size is inherited too?”