Chapter 3 – End of First Love

Summer vacation was over and the second semester had begun.

When I entered the classroom, my eyes met with Shiina’s, who was already seated on her seat.

“…Yo.”

“…Good morning.”

I called out to her, but she bowed her head and avoided my gaze.

After replying to my greetings, she turned her focus back to the novel in her hands. It seemed like she didn’t want to talk with me.

Ever since the fireworks festival, she had been acting like this toward me.

She had been avoiding making any contact with me.

We still did the treatment for her curse but, even then, we only talked when we needed to. It felt like I was a doctor doing my own job instead of helping a friend out.

I wanted to do something about it, but I just got dumped by her, so I didn’t want to be too forceful to her.

Hopefully, we could get back to how we were before all this. For now, I should let time heal everything.

They say that love ruins friendships. This was the first time that I’ve ever experienced it, even though I’ve read about this all the time in stories. Honestly, I regretted it. I should’ve just let things go as they were instead of trying to push our relationship forward like that.

As I let my cheek propped onto my desk, I felt a slap on my back.

“Good morning! Why do you look so down?”

Hina seemed to be in a good mood today. I would have liked that she held her slap a little though, because it hurt.

“I’m sleepy. My internal clock is all messed up because of the summer vacation.”

“As expected of a member of the going-home club. You had a good life during the vacation, huh?”

“…Yes, but I was working part-time, you know?”

I nodded to Hina’s question.

After Shiina dumped me, I had many sleepless nights and I slowly became a night-owl. Well, part of it was because my shifts were mostly during the evening or night.

Thanks to that, I ended up not getting enough sleep. Now that school is starting, it’d be a pain to get my internal clock in order again.

“I woke up at six everyday during the vacation, why can’t you just do that?”

“I’m not a freak like you who’d willingly go to club activities. Besides, it’s summer vacation, you’re supposed to be relaxing at home.”

After hearing my answer, she acted as if she had found out the truth of the world. Stop it, Hina. If you were to proceed, you’d end up like me and join the going-home club!

“Hina, long time no see!~”

“Ah, Misuzu! Heya!~ Look at you, girl! You got a tan?”

“I went to the beach! Right, hear me out, when I went there with my boyfriend—”

Suddenly, a girl classmate approached Hina. Hina then turned her back on me and started chatting with that girl instead.

I stared at her slender back. Huh, did she get taller?

It felt like it had been a long time since I last saw her.

Now that I think about it, I haven’t seen her that much during the vacation.

Well, I was busy doing my part-time job to cope with my broken heart and she was also busy with her club activities. But, the thing was, normally she’d visit my home to hang out with me when things weren’t so busy. She hadn’t done so lately and it felt lonely.

The last time she visited me was when she dragged me to go shopping for her swimsuit and that was quite a while ago.

As I was sitting idly while thinking in my seat,

“Yo, what’s up?”

“Good morning, everyone.”

Shinji and Yuuka entered the classroom.

They walked so close to each other. I guess Shinji accepted her confession back at the festival, huh?

Then, Shinji sat in his seat, right in front of mine.

Yuuka on the other hand, joined in to chat with the other girls.

I caught her stealing a glance in my direction, no, in Shinji’s direction.

When the girls noticed her blushing, everyone started to tease her.

Shinji then gave the girls thumbs up much to Yuuka’s dismay and the girls teased her even more.

“Congrats.”

When I said that, Shinji let out an unusually innocent smile.

“Thank you.”

S-So dazzling… Is this what they call happiness? I can’t…

For someone with a broken heart like me, this is too much to handle…

“What about you?”

“…What do you think?”

His question made me tear up.

“Huh, you got dumped?”

He lifted his brows in surprise.

“How could you ask it so casually? I’m suffering here…”

Shinji looked at me before looking at Shiina, who was reading a novel on her own. Then, he patted my shoulder.

“Stay strong.”

“Thanks.”

As we were having this exchange, the homeroom teacher entered the class.

“Take your seats, we’re starting the homeroom.”

Then, the boring school day began.

I missed the summer vacation already.

During the vacation, I wanted school to start earlier but now that I had lost the reason why I wanted to go to school, I wished that I could stay in my house instead. I couldn’t even bring myself to talk to Shiina now.

…Well, just seeing her already made me happy, but that wasn’t enough!

“I know everyone is still in the mood for summer vacation, but get a grip already. It’s a little early to talk about this, but the inter-class ball tournament is coming up soon. Please decide the participants later, okay?”

Said the teacher.

Ball tournament… Right, there was that thing.

Last year I just skipped the whole thing together with Shinji.

…If I participate, could I show Shiina my cool side?

…No. Even if I tried, she dumped me already. There was no hope for me.

“I don’t feel like doing it.”

I sighed.

However, there was no use in being depressed forever.

Summer vacation was already over, so it was time for me to straighten my mood up.

I’ve decided to give up on Shiina anyway.

If I tried to cling to these futile feelings, it’d only backfire on me.

“…Alright.”

First, I should fix our broken relationship.

With that in mind, I marched toward her seat.

* * *

Shiina’s PoV

I’ve given up on Godou. I’ve given up on Godou.

I repeated those words like chanting a sutra as I pretended to be reading the novel in my hands. I was aware that I hadn’t moved on from the same page for a while now. With an iron will, I restrained my head movements that’d involuntarily look toward Godou’s direction if I were to let my guard down.

At first, I was optimistic that this feeling would fade away as long as I didn’t meet him for a while. But he still needed to give me treatment for my curse, so I ended up having to meet him a few times during the summer vacation.

A part of me felt glad because of that.

The other part of me was disappointed with myself for thinking like that.

“We are just friends… We are just friends… We are just friends…”

When I was repeating those words in a whisper,

“Oi.”

Godou’s voice entered my ears. I jumped in surprise.

“Hyaa!”

“Woah! What’s wrong with you?!”

Perhaps, startled by my voice, Godou also jumped in surprise.

I was so flustered that I threw the novel in my hand away.

I hurried to catch it before it reached the floor, but because of the sudden movement, my body swayed.

And then I fell down.

…Or so I thought. Godou caught me in one of his arms while his other arm was grabbing the novel I had just thrown. That was an amazing catch.

“Oh…”

“T-That was dangerous…”

“As expected of Godou…”

I could hear the uproar that my classmates made from a distance.

Then, Kirishima-san and the others came over to check on me.

“Mai-chan, are you okay?!”

I felt embarrassed from all the attention everyone gave me, so I left Godou’s arm.

It was a shame that I had to leave his side and it seemed like he shared the same feeling as me, judging from his expression. Wait, there was no way that was the case. It was probably just my imagination.

“S-Sorry, I was surprised…”

“Seriously. What the hell is wrong with you?”

Godou immediately scolded me. I knew it, that feeling from before was merely my imagination.

“I-It was your fault for coming up to me suddenly like that!”

“It was your fault for being surprised by something like that. Besides, you should thank me for saving you. If it was any other person, they wouldn’t be able to catch you gracefully like I did.”

I pouted my lips in frustration.

He made a good argument that I couldn’t refute and I hated it.

Before I realized it, I was speaking normally with him. Even though I have been struggling to do it for a while now. Maybe it was because my emotions ran amok.

“As always, Godou’s reflex is amazing.”

Said Yuuka. Meanwhile, Shinji whistled in admiration.

“So cool…”, said one of the girls in class.

If I could hear it, that meant Godou could hear it too. But for some reason, he ignored it with a cool face… Ugh, how frustrating.

“What’s wrong, Shiina?”

“…Nothing. Don’t mind me.”

I answered in a grumpy tone. “I see,” he answered with a happy smile.

It was because of that smile that I kept misunderstanding his intention. Seriously, could he just stop?

“That was cool~”

Kirishima-san nudged him with her shoulder.

“I’m already cool to begin with, you know?”

“Hahaha, look at yourself in the mirror properly and say it again.”

“It was a joke! Stop making fun of me!”

They looked happy when having such exchanges.

Today too, they got along well.

Both Godou and Kirishima-san were my friends.

As long as they could smile happily like that, there was nothing else that I could ask for.

* * *

Godou’s PoV

Two days have passed since the summer vacation ended.

My internal clock was corrected and my body finally was getting used to the change of pace.

“Pass pass!”

A member of the soccer club, Sakuragi, asked for a pass, so I passed the ball in my feet over to him.

“Nice, Godou!”

He received the ball properly and shot it right into the goal.

Then, he came toward me and we high-fived.

“Nice shot!”

“Your pass was a nice one too! You should just join the soccer club already, dude. You’ll be a regular in no time.”

“Nah, I wanna live like a slouch for a while longer.”

“Ah, well, I got you, I wouldn’t want to throw a life like that away either.”

Sakuragi nodded his head.

Perhaps because of the upcoming ball tournament, our P.E. class turned into practice sessions for various ball games.

The game I will be participating in is soccer. When they assigned which person got which game, I was asleep, so they decided it without telling me about it.

Well, I had no complaints about that. I liked all the ball games, so I could go with anything they threw at me.

Though, I did think that it was a little early to hold a ball tournament. I mean, summer vacation just ended and all. It was still better than regular classes, but you know…

I only played soccer in P.E., but thanks to the experience from my previous life, I gained the habit of observing people’s movements and the mindset to anticipate and counter them. My reflex was good to begin with, so applying this strength of mine to the sport would be a piece of cake.

Not only that, I could also imitate the movements of a really good player perfectly.

In other words, no one could beat me in sports if I was serious.

“Pass, please.”

Normally, I’d try to hold back, but since the ball tournament was coming up soon, I decided to take it a little more seriously.

I received a pass from Sakuragi.

At that moment, two of the enemy’s defenders were closing on me.

As both of them tried to reach for the ball at my feet, I stopped the ball and spun around.

Roulette, that was what the move called. I easily dodged them both, kicked the ball lightly to the right of the defender who tried to stop me in a hurry and dribbled away from him.

I went in from the right wing and passed the ball to Shinji who was waiting for me at the center of the penalty box.

Sadly, Shinji blew the shot and it hit the side of the goal.

At that time, I managed to read the trajectory of the ball ahead of time, so I was already running toward the ball’s landing area. Then, I leaped toward the ball and shot it with my right foot, scoring a goal.

Takahashi, the goalkeeper, didn’t manage to move an inch to stop me. He immediately slumped on the spot.

…Whoops, I went too far. Guess I needed to hold back a little.

When I felt conflicted like that, I could hear the girls’ yelling voices.

Apparently a group of girls just neglected to practice their own sports to watch me play soccer.

“Amazing! You’re great!”

“Godou, you’re on a roll!”

Sports were the only field where I could use the experience from my previous life, so it was inevitable that I was good, no, peerless at it.

However, everyone in class didn’t know this fact, so they praised me instead of chiding me.

Since I was on a roll, I felt a wave of excitement and was about to show off even more. Then, I saw Shiina making a disgusted look at me.

Could she cut me some slack? I wanted to show off once in a while too!

Despite my conflicted feelings, the game continued on as everyone kept passing the ball to me.

Well, that made sense since our team was mostly dependent on Sakuragi, the member of the soccer club and me.

After that, I avoided doing flashy moves since Shiina’s gaze hurt my conscience, so I only gave my teammates passes.

I felt confident in my plays, but I also felt confident in my vision.

I’ve dealt with hundreds of demons at once before and I could tell the positions of my team and opponent from their footsteps, that was why I could give my teammates passes without even looking toward their positions.

Since I haven’t moved this body around this much for a while, I was having more fun than I thought.

“Nice!”

I pat Sayama’s shoulder after he received my pass and scored.

Supporting others felt good too. Before I knew it, I was getting too absorbed in my role.

I glanced over at Shiina’s and the rest of the girls’ direction.

For some reason, Shiina was staring at me in a daze. Our eyes met involuntarily.

Almost immediately, she turned her face away from me. Did she realize that there was nothing but a single tree in that direction?

Meanwhile, the other girls were waving at me.

When I waved back, they started screaming. Could it be… Was this the start of my popular phase?!

Well, actually, this always happened during P.E.

Before my memories were awakened, I was already an athletic person. After my memories awakened, I could utilize my combat experience freely. That was why I usually kept everything moderate and restrained myself.

After all, it was obvious what would happen if I were to take things seriously.

I mean, I was holding back, but Sakuragi and the others were trembling when they saw me.

“Are you actually a genius?…”

“Nah, I’m just on a roll today.”

I wonder how long will that excuse work?

Clearly, I wasn’t an amateur and with a little practice, I’d easily get better.

This was the reason why I didn’t join any sports club.

Back in middle school, I was in the basketball club. They invited me to join the club in high school too, but I decided not to join it.

Because of my previous life memories, I grew too strong. I knew that if I wanted to be successful easily, I could just do sports all my life, but I didn’t want that.

Though, I wasn’t averse to using this strength of mine for something fun like the upcoming ball tournament.

After school. A cool breeze caressed my face, a sign of the approaching autumn.

On my way home, I went to a certain luxurious apartment. Shiina’s house.

“…Good evening.”

Today was the scheduled day for her curse’s treatment.

Shiina appeared at the doorway. She bowed with a nervous expression.

She was treating me like a stranger again.

I thought our exchange earlier this morning had fixed our relationship somewhat, but it didn’t seem to be the case.

“I’ll serve you some tea.”

Said Shiina before she went to the kitchen.

I sat on the sofa while waiting quietly for her.

After she served the tea, she sat down right next to me.

The reason why she didn’t sit in front of me was because we needed to have physical contact to treat the curse.

Ever since I realized my feelings for Shiina, whenever I was this close to her, my heart would start beating faster. I wonder if the sound of my heartbeat reached her? Anyway, I should take a sip of that tea and calm down.

Sipping hot tea inside a room with AC felt nice. It was the same feeling as when you eat an ice cream while half of your body is inside a kotatsu.

For a while, only the sound of me sipping my tea could be heard inside the room.

Perhaps she was unable to bear the silence, Shiina turned on the TV.

A program with a laid-back atmosphere started to play. That eased my nerves a little.

“…Hey.”

“W-W-What?”

But for some reason, I was the only one who was calm.

Shiina replied to me with a high-pitched voice.

Nervousness was contagious, so I hoped that she would calm down a little. Why was she even feeling nervous in the first place, anyway?

…Well, I guess it felt awkward to be in the same room as the person you just dumped.

“Can we talk normally again?”

“…Talk normally?”

“Yeah. Don’t you realize? Things between us have been quite awkward… We’re still friends, aren’t we?”

I wanted us to stay as friends at least. It was pathetic of me, I knew.

My heart started to ache because of my own words.

Shiina started to freak out. For some reason, her eyes began to tear up.

…Why though?

“R-Right. W-We’re friends, so let’s talk normally.”

Her tone was as if she was trying to talk to herself.

Was it that hard to talk to me? She seemed to be pushing herself so hard just to do it.

Unknowingly, I’ve placed a tremendous burden on her shoulders.

It was understandable. After all, someone who was merely a friend and had a business-like relationship with her suddenly tried to get closer like that. It was no wonder that she’d feel uncomfortable, especially when she didn’t have the same feeling as me.

I had been disregarding her feelings all this time, hadn’t I?

Getting carried away by the atmosphere just because she was my first love.

All this self-loathing was starting to drive me insane.

“…Last week, I went to watch a movie with Kirishima-san and the others.”

Shiina made eye contact with me for the first time today and started to speak.

“Come to think of it, you guys invited me too back then, right?”

“Yeah. You couldn’t make it, though.”

“It can’t be helped. Mine and Hina’s schedule are conflicted.”

Back then, I still had an interest in that movie, but right now, not even a speck of it remained.

“After watching the movie, Kirishima-san, Shindou-san and I went to the food court. We had a great day.”

She giggled as she continued her story.

As she began to reminisce, her stiff expression started to relax.

The fact that she didn’t say anything about the movie meant that it didn’t leave much impression on her.

If it did, that would be the first thing that she’d have mentioned.

“We even managed to find out about what was going on between Kudou-san and Shindou-san…”

“Sounds fun.”

If it was Shinji who went with them, he’d find a way to brush the topic off. But, since it was Yuuka, they could press on her and she’d spill everything. While Yuuka always acted like a mother-figure to everyone, her embarrassed look was really cute.

“…Also, Kirishima-san and I talked about you.”

“Hina and I? Why? Are you interested in our relationship? We’re just childhood friends though.”

“Your story is interesting. You two have been together since both of you were kids and you two are on good terms with each other. It’s like something out of a novel, you know?

I could see her point.

For me, it was something that I was already used to, so I didn’t think about our relationship that much.

Honestly, I think my relationship with Shiina would make a better story.

“…Can I ask you something?”

Unaware of what I was thinking, Shiina asked me a question.

“What is it?”

Her tone gave me a bad feeling.

“What do you think of Kirishima-san?”

Why did she even ask me that question?

The person I liked was asking me about another girl, what an amazing situation I found myself in.

…But, Kirishima Hina, huh? She was an important childhood friend of mine.

She had been with me since we were kids. We were so close to the point that I couldn’t imagine living a life without her.

That girl had been taking care of me, fixing my flaws as we grew up together.

She was always energetic and cheerful, my mood was always better when she was around.

What do I think of her?

“Obviously, I like her.”

I didn’t even need to think much. I liked her from the bottom of my heart.

She was my best friend, someone who understood me the most.

“…I see. Good for you.”

Said Shiina.

I didn’t understand why she said that.

I liked Hina, yes, but it wasn’t a romantic kind of like.

The only person I’d ever fall in love with romantically would be Shiina Mai.

I thought she was aware of this. Why did she even ask me this question?

The reason why I phrased it as if I had a romantic feeling for Hina was to make Shiina feel more at ease. If I put it this way, she wouldn’t need to worry about my feelings toward her anymore. Well, I couldn’t deny that I said it partly because I felt irritated toward her question.

Still, I was nowhere near ready to hear this kind of answer from her,

“I’ll support your love. I hope you can find your happiness.”

Her words took away the little hope that I had.

It forced me to face reality that I had to give up on her.

When Shiina held my hand and beckoned me to start the treatment, I didn’t feel any excitement anymore.

“O, evil that lies deep inside, show your form before me…”

As usual, I started to cast my exorcism.

With a smile plastered on my face, to hide my broken heart.

* * *

Shiina’s PoV

What ‘good for you?’ I was clearly lying when I said that.

During the fireworks festival, Godou held my hand, it seemed like he was trying to get closer to me.

I almost made a mistake thinking that he actually liked me that way. So I reaffirmed our relationship that day.

We were merely friends. Having a friend like him made me happy.

That was why I had to let go of this feeling in my heart.

I mustered all my courage to find out who exactly that he liked.

My guess was correct, it was Kirishima-san.

Not only was she his childhood friend, she was also cheerful, cute and she was the only person who’d stay by his side to support him. Unlike me who was clumsy, gloomy, plain and troublesome. There was no reason for Godou to not like her.

With that, I knew for sure that he didn’t have any feelings for me. I could safely move on from him.

‘I love him. I love Shiraishi Godou. Out of everyone in this world, I love him the most.’

I recalled Kirishima-san’s declaration.

The depth of her feelings, I could understand it clearly.

Now that I knew that both of them had feelings toward each other, I could safely leave him to Kirishima-san. She’d definitely make him happy.

That’s why I’ll give them my support. May their relationship go well.

* * *

Godou’s PoV

The day of the ball tournament was finally upon us.

Everyone felt so excited because there was no class scheduled for today.

They gathered in either the gym or the yard, depending on which game they participated in or which game they wanted to watch.

It was currently early September. The summer heat was still lingering around, but the autumn breeze made it more bearable. At least, playing in this kind of weather was way better than playing under the blazing summer heat.

“The tennis match is about to start!”

“Let’s cheer for Sagami-kun!”

“Isn’t he Misuzu’s boyfriend? Great, I wanna see what he looks like!”

My girl classmates walked past me while talking with such excitement.

Everyone was in a festive mood, which made sense because it was the sports festival.

Well, I said everyone, but there was someone who was still acting like his usual self. It was this guy lying down next to me.

The said guy, Shinji, yawned and looked at me.

“What? I’ll do my part, so let me sleep when I’m able to.”

“Cheer for your classmates, dude.”

“Why would I? It isn’t like my cheering will make them win.”

“Cheer for Yuuka at least.”

“Too troublesome. Besides, it’s embarrassing to cheer her out in the open like that…”

“So you can get embarrassed.”

“It’s called gap moe.”

While Shinji and I were having this dumb conversation, I heard someone approaching us.

I turned around to see Hina in her P.E. uniform.

“What are you two doing? Cheer for the class! We’re going to sweep through all the matches this year!”

I could see a blaze in her eyes.

She seemed to be going all out this year too.

Because our words wouldn’t work on her, Shinji and I decided to give up and follow her whims for now.

…Honestly, I didn’t feel particularly motivated today.

I even considered just completely ditching school. I just felt too tired to move my body around. But, if I didn’t go, my classmates would be troubled, so I had no choice but to go.

“It’s exciting, isn’t it?”

When we arrived at the tennis court, we could see our classmates, Satou and Takahashi, playing on the court.

Our other classmates were cheering for them, so we joined in.

Hina immediately took command of everyone and started cheering from the center of the group. Meanwhile, Shinji scurried over to Yuuka’s side.

I couldn’t keep up with everyone’s high spirits, so I moved toward the corner. That was when I noticed someone’s gaze on me.

It was Shiina. She was standing alone a little further from where everyone else was.

She looked somewhat pale. At first, I hesitated on whether to call out to her or not, but my concern outweighed the awkwardness I felt toward her.

“Are you okay?”

“Y-Yes. I-I’m just nervous…”

Shiina would be playing in the basketball match if I recall correctly which wouldn’t start anytime soon. Anyway, it was understandable that she’d be nervous. Her athletic capability was zero. She was probably worried that she’d drag everyone down.

“Take a deep breath.”

She took a deep breath.

“If you’re too nervous, you’ll break down during the real thing. For now, just empty your head and focus on cheering.”

“O-Okay… I-It’s a little hard to do that though…”

That seemed to ease her nerves a little, but her complexion still looked pale.

“Well, everyone is heated up, but this is just a school event, they won’t really be taking it too seriously. Don’t say it out loud though. Also, even if you mess up later, no one will blame you, so take it easy.”

I repeatedly told her that everything would be okay.

Honestly, I wanted to tell her that I’d fight anyone who’d dare to blame her, but…

I don’t think she’d appreciate it if I were to say that. It isn’t like I’m his boyfriend or anything.

That was why I only said that much to her.

Despite that, she let out a soft smile and said, “Thank you.”

“Good luck to you too. I’ll be cheering on you.”

When I heard her saying that, I felt elated. At the same time, I felt dumb for being happy about it.

…I’ve resolved myself to give up on her after all. I just wanted to become her friend.

If I kept harboring this feeling with me, I wouldn’t be able to be a good friend for her.

Staying beside her would be hard because of this feeling of mine.

I was the one who asked her to become my friend.

Therefore, I had to act my own part for her sake. She was the one who went out her way to accept that request of mine, after all.

Even if we couldn’t be lovers, I swore to make Shiina Mai happy as her friend.

As long as she could spend her days happily, I didn’t care if I was hurting.

“Thank you. Well, I’m a peerless player, so you don’t need to worry about me.”

“I’m not! …Also, don’t you think you’re cheating?”

“Cut me some slack. This much should be allowed. Besides, I didn’t even play soccer back in my previous life.”

“I’m kidding. Well, it was because of me that you reincarnated to this world to begin with. I don’t have the right to complain if you want to use your previous life’s knowledge here… Anyway, good luck.”

“I guess that logic works… Well, I’ll do my best.”

I smiled as usual as I placed my fist in front of my chest.

* * *

Our first soccer match was about to begin.

We were matched up against a first year team, so we should be able to handle them if we just played like normal.

Since soccer was the main event of the ball tournament, there were a lot of people coming over to watch the matches. They also provided a wide space for the spectators.

I was doing some lifts to pass time at the edge of the court when Hina came over to me.

“How are you feeling? Will you be able to win?”

“Who knows. Sakuragi will do something about it, I guess, so it shouldn’t be impossible to win. Shinji will be there too.”

By the way, Shinji was an ex-soccer club member, so we could always count on him.

“What about you?”

“I’ll help out whenever I can.”

Hina took a step closer to me.

Her well-defined face filled my vision.

“…Is it true that the reason why you’ve been down these days is because Mai-chan dumped you?”

I couldn’t answer that question.

For a moment, silence enveloped us.

“…How did you know?”

“It just came to mind when I saw the two of you.”

“…I see.”

She hit me on the chest when I was standing still.

“Cheer up.”

“If it was that easy, I wouldn’t feel so depressed…”

“It’s one thing to be depressed, but using it as a reason to act like this is just lame.”

“Ugh…”

Those words hurt. Why couldn’t she just comfort me in a normal way?

“Good luck.”

“Why are you so harsh on me?”

“Because it’s you. I believe that you’ll get through this.”

“Where did that come from? I thought I was just an overly self-conscious chuunibyou?”

I used her own words to self-depreciate myself.

“That one is true too.”

“You should comfort me there!”

“Will you accept my words quietly if I did? You won’t. You know that.”

We didn’t know that. I swear, this childhood friend of mine was too strict on me.

“…Even if you’re an overly self-conscious chuunibyou, it doesn’t matter.”

She said in a low voice.

“Even if you’re a total waste of a human being, I’ll always be here to help you. If it gets too hard on you, just lean on me. I’ve been doing this for a long time and that won’t change anytime soon.”

Her gentle words seeped through my heart.

But, even though I knew that she was a kind girl, she wasn’t this sweet of a person.

“And so, in exchange…” She continued.

“Show me your cool side.”

“…It can’t be helped.”

I let out a wry smile. I’m no match for her.

This girl always found a way to make my mood better. She always had my back.

She really was a precious person to me.

“Leave it to me.”

That was why, it was a given that I’d answer that request of hers properly.

* * *

Shiina’s PoV

The crowd cheered.

Godou, who was surrounded by three defenders, managed to dribble his way through them and scored by shooting the ball right under the goalkeeper’s crotch.

The girls started screaming after seeing it.

He was a hero in his previous life, but he never played soccer back then. Aside from that, his current body was an ordinary one. That was why it was quite amazing for him to be able to play this well.

Still, I thought that he’d still be wearing that hateful indifferent face of his while doing this, but he didn’t. I suspected there was something going on.

That guy was playing more aggressively than usual and he was wearing a serious expression that was totally unlike how he’d normally act.

In other words, he was playing with the intent of winning. It had been a while since I’ve seen that serious look of his.

Maybe it was because there were two members of the soccer club in the opposing team, they kept marking Godou and made it difficult for him to move around. But, he managed to find an opening and moved toward the goal.

After receiving a pass from Kudou-kun, he shot the ball toward the goal.

Like an arrow, the ball went into the right side of the goal.

Shindou-san, who was standing next to me, made a gut pose and yelled happily, “Hurray!”

She only did it because it was Kudou-kun who passed the ball to Godou.

“Hehe, he’s pretty cool sometimes, isn’t he?”

“I didn’t expect Kudou-kun to be this good.”

“He is an ex-member of the soccer club. He was sick of it, that was why he quit… Still, Godou is better than him somehow. I know that he’s quite athletic, but I’d never imagine him to be this good…”

That was a given, he was the strongest person in the world before he reincarnated to this world.

This was also the reason why I wasn’t too amazed when seeing his performance.

I was worried that if I were to see him like this, my feelings toward him would grow even stronger.

Just a moment ago, when he showed his concern toward me, I was already at my limit.

I felt relieved that my feelings didn’t grow any stronger, but my relief was short-lived.

After he scored, Godou grinned, showing his white teeth.

“Alright!”

With Sakuragi-kun and Kudou-kun embracing him by the shoulders, he raised his right hand up to the air.

…He looked so cute. I can’t.

The happiness on his face looked genuine, he looked so different compared to the normally calm demeanor he showed to everyone.

Once I saw that gap moe, I just knew that I had already lost. I was too used to his calm look, him showing the serious look I hadn’t seen in a while and his happy look was totally unfair. I felt my chest tightening.

“A-Annoying…”

I felt so upset.

Why did I keep yearning for something that I had already given up on?

“What’s wrong, Mai-chan?”

Shindou-san tilted her head.

“N-Nothing.”

I let out a few coughs to deceive her.

There was no way that I’d let her know that I was fangirling over him.

“Shiraishi-kun is so cool…”

“I know right? But he already got Hina. I can never win against her.”

“Why is every good guy already taken?”

Suddenly, I heard the girls behind me starting to whisper to themselves.

Kirishima-san, who was in the forefront, didn’t seem to hear what they were saying.

“Nice, Godou!”

“Yeah!”

Kirishima-san waved toward him and he waved back.

I wasn’t the person in his line of sight.

But it was okay. I kept repeating those words over and over, trying to convince myself of that.

* * *

After that, our class managed to win all our matches and entered the finals, thanks to Godou and everyone’s hard work.

Almost all of our classmates gathered to watch the finals as it was the only game our class was participating in during this time. Everyone was earnestly cheering for Godou and the others to win the match.

The match was coming to an end. The current score was tied two to two, so the situation was tense.

Even Godou was having difficulties because he was marked by three people at all times.

The opposing team’s players were way more skilled than ours, save for Godou, of course. Not only that they were third-years, two of their members were the aces of the soccer club, while the rest of them were various members of the other sports-related clubs. They went all-in for the soccer game, it was obvious.

Just as I was thinking of how tough the situation seemed, Godou swept past all three people who blocked him and dashed away from them.

As soon as he received the ball, in the blink of an eye, he managed to get through the opposing team’s defenses and scored a goal. Immediately after that, the referee blew his whistle, signaling the end of the match.

Everyone cheered and rushed to the soccer field.

I was unable to keep up with everyone, so I was left alone on the bench.

Everyone gathered in the center of the field, doing celebrations and such.

At the center of everyone was the hero of the day himself, Godou.

Kirishima-san stood beside him. She raised his right arm to the sky.

Seeing her joy, Godou let out a wry smile.

Someone from our class whistled after seeing how close those two were.

With that as a cue, everyone else started to join in and teased those two.

“Stop it!”

He told them to stop, but at the same time, he was chuckling. It was clear that he wasn’t serious.

“I-It isn’t like that!”

Meanwhile, Kirishima-san was blushing hard as she tried to ward the others off.

“Sure, sure.”

“Good ol’ Hina.”

“You guys are practically dating already, aren’t you?”

“Go explode.”

Kudou-kun shrugged his shoulders dismissively and the others followed suit.

Kirishima-san panicked and started to make a fuss, but everyone was just looking at her warmly.

…No matter how you look at it, those two were perfect for each other.

Someone like me, who’d only stuck by myself in the corner like this, didn’t deserve someone like Godou at all.

I found another reason to give up on him.

But, as if ridiculing my resolve, Godou parted ways from everyone and approached me.

“We won, Shiina.”

“…What? I knew that, I watched everything.”

“You cheered on me, right? Thank you.”

“…Does that even matter?”

I pouted and turned my face away from him. Then, he spoke in a sullen tone,

“Of course, it matters. Our performance could be affected for the better when someone is cheering for us. For me, your cheering made me play better.”

For some reason, he covered his mouth after he said that. “For you?…” I tilted my head in confusion.

“Is there something special about my cheering?”

“Uh yeah… I mean, you’re my friend…”

“Isn’t everyone in the class your friends?”

It seemed like I misunderstood something. Godou shook his head.

After a moment of silence, he told me something in a hushed tone.

“…I mean, it’s the cheer from someone that I like, of course it’s special.”

“Huh?”

Someone that he liked? Someone that he liked??

Huh? Wasn’t it Kirishima-san? What? What did he mean by that?

“Don’t you like Kirishima-san?”

“…What?”

He looked at me dumbfoundedly.

His gaze seemed like he was questioning my sanity, but that was what I should feel toward his attitude.

“No way, did you really take my words the other day at face value? Seriously, you…”

“???”

“What the hell am I doing? I’m not supposed to tell you this if I want to keep being friends with you… Wait, isn’t it better to just tell you to straight things up between us?”

He seemed to be mumbling about something that I couldn’t understand.

“W-Wait, could it be that the girl you like is…”

“You.”

His face turned red as he tried to avert his eyes. So cute…

…No, wait, that wasn’t the time to think about that!

What did he just say? Me? The girl that he liked was me??

He liked me??

No way that was the case, but the person himself said it clearly to me.

“…Let bygones be bygones, you dumped me, after all. Let’s not talk about this again”

“…W-What do you mean?”

What? I dumped him? What was he talking about? When did I do that?

Noticing my confusion, Godou explained,

“…Oi, didn’t you tell me back in the fireworks festival that we should stay as friends?”

“B-Because your actions could make me misunderstand your feelings! I just wanted to straighten our relationship up!”

“Misunderstand?”

“I might misunderstand that you actually like me that way…”

“But I do??”

“…”

“…”

“U-Um… Y-You actually like me?”

When I tried to confirm this fearfully, Godou nodded his head.

“R-Romantically?”

“Yes. Is it wrong?”

“…N-No, but…”

“…Okay.”

His face reddened like a tomato, a proof that he wasn’t trying to fool me.

AHH! My face started to heat up too. I could feel a wave of joy rushing through my heart.

“Wait, you didn’t know about this?”

“O-Of course not! How could I notice it in the first place?…”

“I thought you did. So what you said to me back then wasn’t a roundabout way to reject my feelings?”

“I can’t even fathom the r in relationship. I don’t know how to do something that advanced!”

It was hard to admit it, but it was true.

“…So, you haven’t dumped me?”

I nodded to his words. I mean, I never intended to do that in the first place.

“…So, I don’t have to give up on you?”

“T-That’s…”

I almost said that he should never give up on me.

But, I second guessed myself at the last moment. Was this really okay?

I liked him too, so if I were to say it to him, we could start dating right here and then.

The reason I was going to give up on him was because I didn’t want to betray him. He told me he wanted me to be his friend, so I wanted to fulfill that wish of him. Though, if he liked me anyway, liking him back wouldn’t be a problem.

I was tempted by this sweet temptation.

At that moment, a memory from my previous life flashed through my mind.

I was dying while looking at the hero’s corpse.

Then, the scene moved toward the scene that I had just seen.

The scene where Godou was smiling happily, surrounded by the other classmates with Kirishima-san by his side.

“…”

I just needed to nod to his question. That would be enough to make me happy.

But, I couldn’t move my head. My whole body was frozen stiff.

“…My bad. Just forget it.”

After seeing my silence, Godou shook his head.

“Got it, I’ll give up on you. Can we still be friends at least?”

“…Of course. We can still be friends.”

Even though those were my own words, my chest still felt hurt. Godou let out a wry smile.

No. That wasn’t my intention. He was supposed to be happy, not like this.

“Anyway, your cheers helped me. So, thank you. See ya.”

I couldn’t bring myself to say anything before he turned his back on me and left.

I tried to reach for his back, but my hand never reached it.

* * *

Lunch time.

I was practicing basketball by myself in the corner of the gym.

Probably because everyone else was eating their lunch, there was no one here.

Since it was decided that I’d be playing basketball, I had been practicing by myself in the park. Though, it seemed like all my efforts were futile as I was still dragging everyone down in group practices.

I tried to shoot the ball toward the ring, but it bounced back and hit the floor.

When I went to pick the ball up, someone had already done it.

It was Godou.

Remembering the exchange we just had, I started feeling nervous.

Apparently, he was feeling the same as me as he looked unusually hesitant to say something.

Then, he started dribbling. Unlike my clumsy dribble, his was perfect. Even though he never really played basketball, his reflex was sufficient to make it up for his lack of experience.

After a while, he shot the ball. At the same time, he finally opened his mouth.

“Practicing on your own? What an earnest girl.”

“…What? Is it bad?”

“No. That wasn’t sarcasm.”

The ball went through the hoop flawlessly.

Seeing him doing it perfectly irked me. I practiced really hard, yet I still couldn’t shoot properly.

Even back in our previous life, when I was busy calculating my moves in battle, this guy just left everything to his instincts. Seriously, how could someone be as unreasonable as him?

“You just started practicing, don’t think that you could suddenly be good at shooting.”

“…What should I do then?”

“Here.”

Godou suddenly passed the ball to me, which I tried to receive in a hurry.

“If you put your hands out like that, you could injure your arms. Place them in front of your chest and wait for the ball to come into your hands.”

“Why so suddenly?…”

“Pass it to me.”

For some reason, I passed the ball to him.

Like what he told me, he placed his hands in front of his chest and received the ball flawlessly.

“I’ll give you a slow pass, don’t get scared.”

It was because I was afraid of the ball that I put my hands out whenever I saw it coming in my direction.

But, when I followed what Godou told me, I managed to receive the ball properly.

Even though I had never been able to receive a pass like this before. The ball always bounced off my hands.

“Nice. Your shoulders are too tense though. Relax.”

Once again, Godou asked me to pass the ball to him, so I did.

I passed the ball, he received it, he passed it back to me. This repeated for a few more times.

Godou calmly received all my passes. His movements were gentle, probably because he wanted me to use them as references.

And so, I tried to imitate what he did. Of course, I didn’t have the physical capabilities to perfectly imitate his movements right away, but I wanted to be able to receive passes at least. I was lucky that Godou decided to teach me.

After all, I couldn’t practice passing by myself.

“Good, good. Let’s increase the speed a little.”

It was only in times like this that he didn’t say anything stupid to me. It annoyed me a little.

Before I knew it, I was able to receive passes properly. When I let out a deep breath, Godou clapped his hands.

“You still can’t shoot or dribble properly, but at least you could pass the ball around now. That should be enough for now.”

“…Mm.”

Why did he help me?

Dummy, the answer was obvious, it was because he liked me. Realizing that, I noticed my cheeks starting to get hotter.

…Sadly, I couldn’t answer that feeling. I couldn’t make him happy, after all.

Sure, if we became lovers, I’d be really happy.

But I doubt that I’d be able to make him happy.

If we were to stay as friends, he wouldn’t need to be burdened with someone like me.

I wasn’t worthy of such an important position in his life.

I wanted him to be happy.

‘I love him. I love Shiraishi Godou. Out of everyone in this world, I love him the most.’

The one who was worthy of him was already by his side, after all.

“…The game is about to start. Thank you.”

That was why I should distance myself from him.

I didn’t want him to realize this feeling I had decided to bury deeply in my heart.

When I turned my back on him, I heard a gentle “Do your best” coming from behind.

* * *

Shiina’s PoV

The whistle had been blown, signing the end of the match.

I was running around so hard during that match. It was only after it ended that I felt the exhaustion catching up with my body. My heavy breathing wouldn’t be stopping for a while, it seemed.

“Shiina-san, nice!”

One of my classmates, Kiyama-san, approached me and hugged me.

The other classmates who were also members of the basketball team gathered around me.

“You got better!”

“Were you practicing by yourself? Thank you!”

“I-I just didn’t want to drag everyone down…”

“How gallant! And cute!”

“Good girl, good girl. It’s my obligation to make a good girl like you happy~”

“Get away from Yumi, Shiina-san! She’ll corrupt you!”

Kiyama-san and my other classmate, Akasaka-san, were staring at each other. I was stuck between the two of them.

“Anyway, it’s great that we won. The bar was raised too high because the soccer team won the whole thing.”

“It’s still the first round though. Well, I actually didn’t think that we could win.”

Even people who I’ve never talked to gathered around me.

Suddenly, they made a way for someone to go through. Godou approached me.

“I-I did my best.”

He told me to do my best, so I did.

I didn’t know if it affected the match as a whole, but I wanted to let him know that at least I did everything that I could do.

When I told him that, he blinked before laughing.

“Good for you.”

He placed a hand on my head and gently stroked it.

I almost let out a dumbfounded sound. What was this guy doing out in the open like this?

It felt embarrassing, but at the same time, it felt good. I wanted him to fawn over me forever.

No good. If this kept up, I wouldn’t be able to give up on him. The more I interacted with him, the more fond I grew of him.

I really wanted to be his lover.

If possible, I wanted to bask in this feeling for as long as I could. But at that moment, my eyes met Kirishima-san’s. She let out a sad smile.

Almost immediately, I pushed Godou away from me. The atmosphere instantly froze.

“Sorry… I don’t think I can be your friend anymore…”

When I told him this, his face turned sour.

No, you weren’t supposed to make that kind of face. Sorry.

I just couldn’t stay with you anymore.

Or else I wouldn’t be able to contain this feeling.

That was why I couldn’t afford to be your friend.

It would be too arrogant and selfish of me to be, who always brought you unhappiness, to wish to stay by your side. Though, this kind of wicked feeling was something that a former witch like me could have.

Thanks to you, I finally could taste what happiness tasted like.

So it was your turn to be happy this time.

There was already someone who could make you happy.

You wouldn’t need me.

If you were to stay together with me, you’d shake my resolve.

The feelings that I had sworn to bury deeply inside my heart would start to swell several times over.

That was why I couldn’t be with you anymore…

* * *

Godou’s PoV

The day after the tournament, Shiina didn’t attend school.

Because this happened right after that thing the other day, everyone was staring at me.

“Godou?”

“…Sorry.”

After that thing happened, Shiina left the place and the whole place turned silent.

Everyone was looking at me, their gazes were telling me that I fucked up somehow.

What was originally a fun tournament turned into a depressing shitshow for me.

In the end, our class got the overall second place for the whole tournament.

Hina was trying to cheer me up with that fact, but I was out of it for the rest of the day.

Since Shiina went home early yesterday, I thought about apologizing today, but…

“Hah…”

I hung my head down.

Like what everyone thought, I fucked up.

The atmosphere made me get carried away and made Shiina feel uncomfortable.

Even though I told her that I’d give up on her, I still did something like this…

Still, I didn’t expect such blatant rejection from her.

It was laughable. I could feel that everyone was secretly laughing behind my back.

I felt like the dumbest person in the world.

Especially when I still felt that I could fix everything if I were to give her some time to cool down.

Just my luck, she didn’t even come to school today.

I told myself that she was probably overworking herself the other day and she got sick or something.

But she still didn’t come to school for a few days after that.

Everyone who was snickering at me because of the mess I made, turned to look at me with worried gazes and started asking me questions on whether everything was alright. Our homeroom teacher said that Shiina was absent because she was sick, but I kinda doubt that was truly the case…

In any case, my worries grew as time passed by.

However, I was afraid that if I were to visit her right now, it’d have the opposite effect instead.

After all, there was a big chance that I was the reason why she was absent in the first place.

As that thought came to my mind, my body became as stiff as a rock.

I couldn’t do anything for her. If I were to do it, it’d just hurt her even more than this.

…There really was nothing I could do for her.

The day after that, she was still absent. The atmosphere in the class turned even heavier than before.

Math class. I was looking out the window. It was raining heavily outside to the point that I could hear the sound of the droplets hitting the ground even though the windows were tightly shut. The damp air was sticking to my body closely and it felt uncomfortable.

I found myself moving my gaze toward Shiina’s seat.

The girl who usually would be taking her notes during this time of the day was nowhere in sight.

Gradually, daily lives without her had started to become our new routine. I hated that.

But, what could I do about it? I caused the whole thing.

“Have you heard anything from Mai-chan, Godou?…”

After class was over, Hina came over to my seat and asked me.

Her voice was weaker than usual.

“…Nope.”

That said, I still had to give her treatment for her curse.

I really should contact her soon.

But, should I really? Wouldn’t it be better if I were to wait for her to contact me first instead?

“You didn’t contact her?”

“…I don’t want to hurt her again.”

I laid my body down on the desk as I said that. When she heard my words, Hina yanked my hand and pulled me up.

She was staring at me with a serious expression.

“Do you think all this is okay?”

“No, but there’s nothing I could do.”

Hina nodded before continuing,

“Didn’t you say you were going to show me something cool?”

“…Sorry. I’m not cool enough of a person to do that. I’m the worst…”

The only thing that I managed to do was to hurt the girl I liked.

What former hero? What was that bullshit about making her happy?

I could only swing my sword around, the same sword that I used to hurt her.

It couldn’t be used to protect her.

Even when I got reincarnated, I still did the same thing. She was unhappy to the point that she decided to sever ties with me. I didn’t deserve to be with someone as kind as her.

After I tidied up my desk, I said my goodbye to Hina and tried to go home.

“…Godou.”

Hina called me, but I didn’t turn around.

Since I forgot to bring my umbrella, I decided to walk under the rain. In no time at all, my whole body was soaking wet.

In the end, I had to take shelter on a bench in a park on the way home.

The roof above me was leaking, but it didn’t matter when my clothes were this wet.

As I stood by idly while waiting for the rain to calm down a little, I sensed someone approaching me from the side.

I didn’t need to turn my gaze around to know that it was Hina.

At times like this, she would be the only person who’d do something like this.

She always had my back. It had always been this way.

“Godou…”

When she called out to me, I turned my gaze to her direction.

She was as soaked as I was.

“You’re going to catch a cold.”

“We’re both going to catch a cold.”

“I didn’t bring my umbrella, but I have my towel with me.”

“No. You wiped your sweat with that towel, didn’t you?”

“I already washed it, so it’s fine. We’re childhood friends, so don’t mind it that much.”

I took a towel out of my bag and threw it to her.

Since my bag was waterproof, the contents didn’t get wet.

The towel landed onto her face. Then, she used it to wipe her hair lightly.

“You’re soaking wet too, you know?”

“I don’t feel like drying myself. Anyway, where’s your umbrella?”

“Here it is.”

She took out a folding umbrella from her bag.

Since she wasn’t riding her bike right now, she probably went to the school by bus.

It seemed like she knew that it was going to rain today.

“Where’s your bike?”

“I feel like walking.”

“Where’s your umbrella then?”

“I want to feel the rain directly with my body.”

I left my bike in the school’s parking lot.

“I see. Same.”

The rain weakened down a little. The downpour had turned into a gentle drizzle.

“Godou, is the reason why you are like this because Mai-chan rejected you?”

“Why else?”

“Why do you think she did?”

“I don’t know… Maybe because I disgusted her. She seemed to hate me.”

That would explain why she treated me like that.

Her hatred toward me probably ran very deeply to the point that it was hard for her to contain it anymore.

“Well, it’s true that you patting her head out of nowhere would make her uncomfortable, but…”

“Ugh…”

Instead of comforting me, her words just dealt more elemental damage to me.

I didn’t want to say that scene out loud because it pained me to even remember it. I hope that she could stop bringing it up.

“Still, that isn’t the case when we talk about Mai-chan.”

She looked confident when she said that.

“How did you know that?”

“Because she is easy to understand… Also, I understand her feelings really well.”

Easy to understand? Shiina?

I couldn’t even figure out what was happening inside that girl’s head.

“Mai-chan is kind. Too kind. I can’t believe that someone could be that kind. She has no self-confidence for some reason, even though she is that pretty.”

That was partly because of her previous life’s memory.

“…That girl used to be hated by everyone around her because of something that wasn’t her fault. She was stuck in self-blame all her life, that’s why she has no self-confidence. That’s also why she always tries to treat everyone who treated her warmly as kindly as she can.”

“…Mm.”

That explanation seemed to convince her.

“…That’s why she gave up her feelings. She did it for me.”

I could hear her murmur, but I didn’t know what she was talking about.

“Godou, can I tell you something?”

She got up from the bench and stood right in front of me.

With the rainy park as the background, she looked dazzling.

There were drops of water running through her cheeks.

Were they rain water? Were they tears?

But why would she cry?

Just as I was thinking about that, her next words reached my ears.

“I like you.”

The look on her face told me that she wasn’t joking.

As dense as I was, I knew that she didn’t mean that she liked me as a friend.

…Though, I was aware of this.

After learning about love for the first time in my life, I understood what love felt like.

At the same time, I noticed feelings that I had never noticed before.

Looking back, she left countless hints for me to notice.

That was why I knew that the feelings she had for me were the same feelings as the one that I had for Shiina.

“…Will you go out with me?”

But, why did she confess to me during this time?

She was smart and perceptive, she knew that I liked Shiina.

As long as this feeling remained, I wouldn’t be able to answer that feeling of hers.

“…Sorry, I can’t. I have someone else that I like.”

If I went out with her, maybe this feeling would eventually disappear.

Maybe there would be a time when I’d finally fall for Hina.

I knew that if I were to stay with her, I’d be happy.

After all, it was this sweet girl who had been staying by my side, supporting me without asking for anything.

She was too good for me. I should be the one who confessed to her and begged her to stay by my side.

I knew that, but I couldn’t lie to myself. So I apologized to her.

“Then, why are you giving up? Don’t give up that easily!”

Said Hina suddenly, as if she was waiting to say those words.

“Don’t you like Mai-chan?”

“…Yeah.”

“Then at least ask her directly about her true feelings! It’s not like you to leave her on her own like this! If you think that you hurt her, apologize to her! How long are you going to be depressed like this?!”

There was a desperation hidden in her voice.

Every word she uttered was for my sake.

Even though I clearly dumped her just now. Even though it was alright for her to swear at me in this kind of situation.

And yet, what came out of her mouth was words of support for me.

I wanted to know why she went this far for me?

But I knew the answer to that. She loved me that much.

She loved me as much as I loved Shiina.

“Be the cool Shiraishi Godou I’ve come to love.”

Within her tears, she let out a smile.

“Show me your cool side.”

She said the same words as she said back then.

Even though I showed her a lot of my lame side, she still believed in me.

That was why I wanted to answer that expectation of hers. Not out of obligation, but as something I truly wished for.

Honestly, I knew that there was something wrong with Shiina’s behavior lately.

But, I was too afraid to admit it. I pretended not to notice and kept averting my eyes.

I ended up being depressed while doing absolutely nothing.

And that shouldn’t be something that the cool person who Hina fell in love with do.

“I’m going to meet Shiina.”

I stood up.

Under this rain, I looked forward.

“Can I say something?”

When I passed Hina by, I could hear her weak, trembling voice.

I pretended not to notice the sob in between her words.

“…Your happiness is my happiness… So, go get your happiness, okay?…”

I ran. I ignored the rain as I ran forward.

I wanted to be the cool Shiraishi Godou who Hina fell in love with.

* * *

Hina’s PoV

I watched Godou’s back until it disappeared from my sight.

My ten years of love was over… Was it ten years?

I realized my feelings for him when I was six, but I probably had started to love him even before that.

“Ah… Why am I always like this?”

I knew that I would be rejected if I were to confess to him now.

I always knew that he loved Mai-chan that much.

If I hadn’t helped him, I probably had a chance.

I knew that this would happen if I gave him a push.

…I knew that, but I still did it anyway.

“What a bad role to play…”

The sudden voice startled me.

I turned around to see Shinji, who was standing nearby with his arms crossed.

“…Since when were you there?”

“Since the beginning. I got curious because I watched you chasing him, so I followed you two here.”

He shrugged. I wanted to lash at him because he was stalking me, but I couldn’t exactly do that since I did the same thing to Godou just now. I guess that was why he openly announced his presence like that. Kudou Shinji was always that kind of person.

“…I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”

“If your goal was your own happiness, yes, you are.”

Said Shinji with a blunt tone.

“But that isn’t the case. Your goal is his happiness, isn’t it?”

Yeah, he was right. If my actions could make him happy, then it was worth it. There was no need for me to be depressed.

“…Yeah. I don’t mind as long as he is happy…”

“I don’t care what you’re trying to tell yourself, but it’s okay to cry.”

As long as Godou was happy, nothing else mattered. It didn’t have to be me who made him happy.

…No, of course not. I didn’t want that.

I wanted him to look at me. I wanted to be the reason for his happiness

I wanted him to stop thinking about Mai-chan. Whenever he was thinking about her, it always made me feel lonely.

Wanting his happiness? Wanting him to follow his feelings? Those were all lies, I didn’t want those. But at the same time, I didn’t want him to leave Mai-chan by herself. I wanted Mai-chan to be happy too.

That was why I had no regrets.

If I were to turn back time and were put in the same situation again, I knew that I’d do the same thing again.

“I know you didn’t want to cry in front of him. That’s why, cry your heart out here.”

That was unfair, Shinji. You couldn’t say things like that out loud.

But, I didn’t have the will to argue against him. My vision was blurred and I couldn’t say anything without letting out a sob. The stream that came running down my cheeks kept coming out despite my efforts to make them stop.

I wasn’t crying. It was the rain.